Medical Christmas Carols

gauge14iv, MSN, APRN, NP · Nov 24, 2003

(Sung to tune of "Joy to the World")

(I make no warranties as to the accuracies or inaccuracies related to current ACLS practice measures as these are quite old!)

Here comes the code, He's in V-Tach

We'll whack him on the chest

We'll fill him full of lidocaine

we'll push some epi in his vein

we'll pace his atrium

we'll give bretyllium

We'll zap him and then we'll do CPR

Still there's no pulse We intubate

And try a pacemaker

we stick it in the old boys heart

and hope it makes his ticker start

set the milliamps at ten

readjust it once again

turn the thing on and hope that it will do the trick

Now theres a pulse, his pressures up

turn off the dopamine

his pupils are reacting now

hes waking up - I dont know how

He's breathing all his own

pull the tube and let him moan

he will holler when he gets the bill for this

gauge14iv, MSN, APRN, NP · Nov 24, 2003

(sung to "Frosty the Snowman")

Charge up the paddles

cuz my patients in V-Tach

his rate didn't change with

with the lidocaine

or a pre-cord-ial whack!

Crank up the voltage

see his eyeballs pop right out

let his chest get red

from the juice he's fed

watch the sparks fly from his snout

we gave drugs first

they made things worse

twas horrible to watch

we finally got him to respond

when the paddles hit his crotch

that old guy jumped up

with a hooray and a grin

Im ninety eight he said

that felt great

could you do it once again?

Crackle zap pop pop crackle and pop pop

see that old guy danace

Crackle zap pop pop crackle and pop pop

lightening in his pants

pghfoxfan · Nov 25, 2003

We're sick...one and all!

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Nov 25, 2003

ROFLMAO!!:roll :roll :roll

Here's one of my own creations, with apologies to the original composer:

The 12 Days of Christmas for Nurses

On the 12th day of Christmas, my workplace gave to me:

12 staff complaining

11 sets of orders

10 call lights glowing

9 patients whining

8 pissed-off families

7 sets of vitals

6 phones a-ringing

5 used bedpans!

4 IV starts

3 new admits

2 doctors yelling....

And not even a break to go pee!

gauge14iv, MSN, APRN, NP · Nov 25, 2003

Thats AWESOME!!!!!!!! I found a few more - I will post them tomorrow,

:chuckle

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Nov 25, 2003

Here's another of mine:

Silent Night, Unholy Night@ the Hospital

Silent night, unholy night

Full moon's up, it's a fright!

Demented patients and cranky staff,

Nothing happens to make us laugh,

Go get the Ativan, nursie,

and a round of Haldol for all.

Silent night, freaky night

Doctors quake at the sight

of alcoholics in full-blown DTs,

While nurses tend to the mayor's skinned knees,

Watch the door! There's a new patient,

and lock it so he can't come in.

Silent night, unholy night,

Nurses are calm, but docs are uptight

Waiting, waiting for hell to break loose,

Don't use your stethoscope as a noose

Hang in there--shift's almost over,

Only ten more hours to go!

FutureRN~Pookie · Nov 25, 2003

LMAO! :rotfl:

:chuckle

Too funny!

Kacy