Published
I'm so confused and lost....
I graduate this May with my BSN. I was an EMT for 4 years before I started nursing school, and I enjoyed that... I thought I would want to be an ER nurse.
After going through all my nursing rotations, I realized that I get grossed out really easily. Like, if I have to bathe a patient, change a diaper, give an enema, suction a trach, or give a tube feeding I get physically sick to my stomach...
So med/surg was a miserable time for me... and I think ER nursing would end up being the same way for me...
I thought I would like psych nursing instead, so I worked as a mental health worker at a psych hospital, but after getting violently attacked on the job by a patient who escalated out of nowhere I felt so unsafe I had to quit.
I did a Labor and Delivery preceptorship...but I still got queasy (though I love babies).
Now what? I'm starting to think I just wasted 5 years of my life on a career that I can't do...
Has ANYONE dealt with this and gotten over it and been happy in their career? Any advice on types of nursing I might be okay with?
I'm so upset and worried
I'm so confused and lost....I graduate this May with my BSN. I was an EMT for 4 years before I started nursing school, and I enjoyed that... I thought I would want to be an ER nurse.
After going through all my nursing rotations, I realized that I get grossed out really easily. Like, if I have to bathe a patient, change a diaper, give an enema, suction a trach, or give a tube feeding I get physically sick to my stomach...
So med/surg was a miserable time for me... and I think ER nursing would end up being the same way for me...
I thought I would like psych nursing instead, so I worked as a mental health worker at a psych hospital, but after getting violently attacked on the job by a patient who escalated out of nowhere I felt so unsafe I had to quit.
I did a Labor and Delivery preceptorship...but I still got queasy (though I love babies).
Now what? I'm starting to think I just wasted 5 years of my life on a career that I can't do...
Has ANYONE dealt with this and gotten over it and been happy in their career? Any advice on types of nursing I might be okay with?
I'm so upset and worried
This is why I work with babies. Everything you mentioned is smaller in size and quantity, this making it less nauseating...IMO...check out well-baby and family care or NICU...maybe PICU too.
I'm all done with my peds rotation (since I graduate in May, all that's left is community health nursing)... I had a hard time dealing (emotionally) with the sick kids and I felt like the "bad guy" every time I had to walk into a room with a needle! So peds and NICU are out... I enjoyed school nursing when I did a short rotation last semester but I don't think I could put up with all the politics involved...I think you're right though, that I need to stick it out and find something in patient care that I can do since this will hopefully open up other doors for me...
The difference in NICU is that the babies really don't scream when you come at them with a needle, they don't know what's going on until you stick them...sounds mean...but it's easier, IMO than peds or PICU where they are older and know you're going to hurt them sometimes.
This is why I work with babies. Everything you mentioned is smaller in size and quantity, this making it less nauseating...IMO...check out well-baby and family care or NICU...maybe PICU too.
Maybe I should be looking at the NICU more seriously - I felt so sad when I visited the NICU during my L&D rotation (to drop off a sick newborn) - but maybe I could learn to enjoy it...
How did you get a job in the NICU? Where did you start? What do you like best about it?
From a reader's perspective, it seems like you've looked at all these different areas, found something unappealing, and decided that it won't work for you. For example, one scary pysch experience in one type of facility and all of psych nursing is off the board. You found it sad to see the NICU babies - so that's too sad. You felt like the bad guy in pediatrics - so forget that area.
It's all right if you truly don't think any of these areas would be a good fit. But perhaps you could take a different approach to considering your options. Instead of rating the possibilities by "I don't think I could do that/I don't think I'd like that", do some reflecting upon things that you HAVE enjoyed and that you HAVE done successfully.
You seem to have liked the horse show EMT job. Maybe you can figure out what parts of that you liked and what parts you didn't enjoy but were okay with and what parts (if any) you were glad you didn't have to deal with often. See if you can measure your inner gauge of what types of work is stimulating and enjoyable, what types are unappealing but tolerable and what type you'd rather jump off a cliff than do day after day.
You're right... I need to look at the pros and cons of everything without letting one thing get me sidetracked...
After hearing what everyone has to say about it, I'm thinking that maybe the more I put myself in the "gross" situations the more accustomed to them I'll be... I think I should be looking at L&D nursing again maybe...
Maybe I should be looking at the NICU more seriously - I felt so sad when I visited the NICU during my L&D rotation (to drop off a sick newborn) - but maybe I could learn to enjoy it...How did you get a job in the NICU? Where did you start? What do you like best about it?
I started in a new grad program in Ca. We were trained for 3-4 months, can't remember exactly how long. It was a Level 3 NICU 52 beds at that time.
I like a lot of things about it. The pt. ratios are 1:1-3 at the most. I think that goes for most NICU's. I like it when the parents are so happy to see their baby make progress. I like seeing your patients all at one time in one room, unlike the floor, where you have no idea what they're doing down the hall in their room.
I just new floor nursing was not for me. Also, the babies are a lot smaller, and so are their diapers! And the work isn't breaking my back...you do stand in one spot a lot, but the babies don't hurt you.
i know i am kinda late on this thread, but since you were an EMT and did clinic type stuff at the horse shows, maybe an urgent care would be right for you....like a stand alone facility that sees pts who do not need to be seen in the ER but their docs are not available...you would see stuff like cold/flu, asthma attacks, fx, minor lacs, etc. no diaper changing or anything, and if the pts really sick you send them out...
I agree with the person who said OR nursing may be for you-you said fresh wounds and blood don't seem to bother you. I won't lie though, we still will see poop and phlegm on occasion, but you get used to it. And also, we all have things that gross us out unbearably. For me, nosebleeds have always freaked me out-one of the CRNAs had one today in the lounge, and I had to get up and leave. Now mind you, I've participated in amputations and we get pretty intense trauma, open fractures etc and those don't make me cringe in the slightest. One wee little nosebleed and I was ready to barf!
I think the fact that you were an EMT speaks volumes-I think you can find an area of nursing that agrees with you. In the OR, the wounds for the most part are "controlled" if that makes any sense. Code browns do happen but are relatively rare.
Nope... well, I guess everyone's got a different definition of disgusting...I actually did enjoy my experiences in the operating room, but I had a hard time with all the standing... any suggestions on standing for long periods? Also, how do people get jobs in an OR if they're always looking for people with OR experience?
Most ORs now have new grad programs-the days where you needed to have prior experience are disappearing. There is a shortage of OR nurses and some OR educators actually feel that a new grad is sometimes better off, because they have no preconceived notions and prior bad habits. OR nursing is so different than floor nursing, that while experience on the floors might not hurt, it won't really help either. I think you'd kick butt at OR nursing especially in one that does level one trauma-your EMT experience would be so valuable(in the OR, you have to be able to think quickly, because pts. can start to go downhill pretty fast).
As far as the standing, get a good pair of shoes and I swear by compression socks. Your body will adapt also.
Maybe you could shadow an OR nurse for a day? Also, PM me if you have any questions. Good luck in whatever you decide!:)
I'm interested in your dilemma because I had a hard time figuring out what to do after graduation. Nursing school goes by so quickly. At the end of year one, I was beginning to think maybe this wasn't for me. But it was only one more year to graduate and that year included stuff that sounded potentially more appealing to me such as critical care, public health, & pediatrics. It seemed worth it to stick it out despite my reservations.
I still think it was, even though, now, years later, I've come to accept that clinical nursing is just not my thing. I admire those who do it and wish I took to it like a duck to water. But I felt more like a fish out of water. And for all the different areas of nursing, I just couldn't find anything that seemed like a good fit.
So I stopped trying to fit my interests and strengths to nursing positions and applied for health-related positions that looked like something that I could do day after day, stay interested and not be totally wiped out. I got a job reviewing health articles. It involved reading lots of interesting (and sometimes boring) health articles, many about nursing, evidence-based care and more. Not bad! I did that for a couple of years and then started looking again for something more challenging (to me). I again had to fight the urge to try fit myself into a job that I admired & was technically qualified for as a nurse but wasn't suited for.
Recently, I got a new job collecting clinical data for a hospital department and working with their information system. I'm really enjoying that and can finally see a future for myself working with clinical information systems and data management. There's just no way I could've planned that out as student. I had to fumble my way to this point. If I'd never had tried nursing, I probably would've always wondered "what if"... this way, I know. And I can use my experience in other ways besides direct care.
Why tell you this? Just to let you know that it's okay if you don't want to be a nurse. You were an EMT and enjoyed your work. I can see why nursing would seem like a natural progression. Nursing often is considered a practical choice, with many career options and potential for growth - compared to say training to be a paramedic or firefighter (I'm just thinking of jobs that relate to the kind of EMT work you did). We don't have crystal balls and have no guarantees that any of our well-thought out plans will work out.
I encourage you to not give up on nursing yet. You may yet find an area that works for you. But you needn't feel horrible (your words, and I can relate) that you haven't yet found nursing to be for you what you hoped it would be.
Good luck with whatever you do!!!
NewYorkGirl
89 Posts
You are so right on both counts.
I need to work on fixing my attitude about it I think!