Marriage and Nursing School

[bdedwards]

I'm just about finished with my first semester of nursing school and possibly my marriage. I love my wife so much and our daughter and I'm trying, I really am, but I just suck at juggling it all. I'm sure there is more that I can do but I don't know what. I'm tired all the time and that causes fights too. For instance, I told my wife she could go to bed and I would keep our daughter up for an extra hour and then put her to bed. Well, I end up falling asleep and the couch and my life has been hell since that happened. It was terribly irresponsible of me, but I didn't do it on purpose. I just don't know what I can do anymore. It discourages me so much that I really never even want to study for this stuff because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know what my writing this will do, but I guess it helps just to vent. Thanks for your time.

[ArrowRN, BSN, RN]

This sounds so similar to my rant I had a while back...

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-student/spouses-have-no-826141.html

Since then has much changed? Not really dude and unfortunately it gets tougher as you try to manage your time because the classes get harder. Honestly I tried the whole spreading myself more to the family thing and I started failing classes. I've thought about divorce many times but I think it will only make things worse. So 3 semesters later I just deal with it. The arguments also adversely affect my studies. Sometimes when a test is approaching is when it gets worse and I would just go to the library to avoid the confrontation. I suggest you sit down with your wife and let her know that in order for you to be successful and for the family to be successful this is a sacrifice that is worth while. She probably won't understand it because she is not in nursing school. Try to come up with a plan maybe for 2 hours on a Saturday just with her. Or get some input from her. Unfortunately she has to watch the kids if you are to succeed and that is definitely not on you so don't beat up yourself for being tired. I am the main motivator and the only one in the home with a degree and a drive to succeed at college. My spouse does not have those ambitions. I don't know if marriage was a mistake but I can't turn back the clock on that. It's a really difficult situation to be in but just press on and don't give up. Post your schedules up so she will know when your exams are coming up and won't be surprised why you are on the computer and reading for 8 hours straight.

If this is happening to someone who is just a boyfriend/ girlfriend, I would definitely recommend ending the relationship if thee is no support. Its not worth the hassles of marrying someone who will not motivate you but only complains.