Manipulative Parent

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

here are the rules: for a student to sit out from pe or recess we have to have a physicians note. pe is considered part of the academic curriculum and students have to have x amt hours for pe.

so, last friday a parent sent in a note saying that the student is to be excluded from pe and recess due to allergies and an eye infection. so i call the parent and say we need a physicians note for this to happen, however i will allow the student to stay in this one day but starting on monday he will resume pe until we get a doctors note.

well yesterday it rained so no problem... today we got the physicians note saying that the child is to not go outside due to severe allergies. ok fine. tomorrow they have a field trip to the zoo and mom is saying that she wants the child to attend the field trip. i'm so confused ? you don't want your child to go outside for pe or recess due to allergies but they can go to the zoo for 6 hours????

its now out of my hands so my boss is handling it. however, if its my way i would override the student going on the field trip unless the parent is able to accompany the child.

this is crazy!

[llg, PhD, RN]

I empathize/sympathize with the kid and the mom here. I can understand how they might choose to do some things out of doors and not others. Life is not "all or nothing" -- especially for people with chronic illness.

People with chronic illnesses often benefit from reducing certain stressors in their lives. But that does not mean they should have to uneccessarily sacrifice every activity that might cause some stress. For example, I have mild diabetes that is totally controlled by diet and exercise. I try to avoid foods high in carbohydrates -- particularly sugary, non-nutritional food like pastries, candy, etc. That doesn't mean I don't allow myself some birthday cake every now-and-then ... or other "splurges" on special ocassions.

I have also suffered with bad hay fever -- and would avoid going outside at my parents house (who lived in a wooded area filled with stuff that would give me a strong allergic reaction). However, that doesn't mean I NEVER stepped outside the house.

Managing a chronic condition often requires flexibility -- and the making of choices that weigh the costs and the benefits in specific situations. I'm on the Mom's side on this one. I can understand that the kid shouldn't have to suffer regularly in school by aggravating his allergies at recess. However, he may be more than willing to suffer a little in exchange for the trip to the zoo -- and Mom shouldn't have to go along to punish her for her child's allergies.

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

I empathize/sympathize with the kid and the mom here. I can understand how they might choose to do some things out of doors and not others. Life is not "all or nothing" -- especially for people with chronic illness.

People with chronic illnesses often benefit from reducing certain stressors in their lives. But that does not mean they should have to uneccessarily sacrifice every activity that might cause some stress. For example, I have mild diabetes that is totally controlled by diet and exercise. I try to avoid foods high in carbohydrates -- particularly sugary, non-nutritional food like pastries, candy, etc. That doesn't mean I don't allow myself some birthday cake every now-and-then ... or other "splurges" on special ocassions.

I have also suffered with bad hay fever -- and would avoid going outside at my parents house (who lived in a wooded area filled with stuff that would give me a strong allergic reaction). However, that doesn't mean I NEVER stepped outside the house.

Managing a chronic condition often requires flexibility -- and the making of choices that weigh the costs and the benefits in specific situations. I'm on the Mom's side on this one. I can understand that the kid shouldn't have to suffer regularly in school by aggravating his allergies at recess. However, he may be more than willing to suffer a little in exchange for the trip to the zoo -- and Mom shouldn't have to go along to punish her for her child's allergies.

Thanks for the response and I do see where you are coming from. However, he does not have a chronic illness. Mom is very nasty, a few months ago she got mad at me for sending her child home with a fever ! She demanded that he don't go outside however she wants him to go on the field trip.

Update- The doctor's office just called me back and the doctor says he is not to go on the Field trip, he is to stay inside for two weeks. Now we just have to break the news to mom... wish us luck with that.

[Keepstanding, ASN, RN]

nursing student i really understand your dillema. i agree with you. he/she should not go on the field trip. parents won't like it, but hey, it was not your decision. you are doing the right thing.

praiser :heartbeat

[SchoolNurseBSN]

Is the physician an allergist? Has student had allergy testing? Is he on any allergy meds? Is the exclusion from P.E. short-term or permanent?

Personally, I think P.E. exclusion should be a last resort. Physical activity is important. I agree, he should not go on field trip. Thank of all of that animal dander, etc flying around at the zoo!

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

is the physician an allergist? not sure.has student had allergy testing? not sure.is he on any allergy meds? he's currently on antibiotics for an eye infection.is the exclusion from p.e. short-term or permanent? short term.

personally, i think p.e. exclusion should be a last resort. physical activity is important. i agree, he should not go on field trip. thank of all of that animal dander, etc flying around at the zoo!

thanks for all the replies

[dennysbfly]

You have a doctors note saying the child cannot go outside. You can always say that is is not within your authority to override a medical decision. In any other situation you have to follow doctors orders right?

I hate parents that do stuff like this....Stand your ground. Your right!!!!!