manipulative and dominating employee

[sourapril]

I have been working with this manipulative and dominating coworker for about 6 months now. Our boss is kind of new (she got hired 3 months before me). This annoying coworker has been working in the same position for 20 years. She never respects our new boss and always complain about her and things in general in her life. I have to listen to her complaint daily. I don't put up with her passive aggressiveness or her negative attitude, but others do. Our secretary is afraid of her. Our boss is not doing anything about it and let her dominate the meeting.

So today we had a team meeting with the whole team plus another person from the state. My boss just started talking about the agenda and all the sudden this coworker threw at her a takeout menu. Nowhere in the meeting agenda said anything about ordering lunch. Our meeting is from 11-1. I just assumed that we either take a work lunch or eat after the meeting. So then, everyone had to order from the menu. My boss tried to call the place, but they don't deliver. So then this coworker pulled out another takeout menu and everyone had to reorder their food. When it was my boss turn to look at the menu, she took a little bit longer because she still tried to talk about things we were supposed to talk about for the meeting. Then this coworker said to her "I am having a hungraine." (hungry, migraine, get it?) So then my boss had to hurry up and order something. I was just so ******. I love my boss. She has always been really supportive to me and always a good listener, but it pains me to watch her being dominated by this coworker. Everyone I talked to in the office says the same thing about my coworker, "so and so is really nice, as long as you don't work with her." So I know it's not just me who thinks she is completely disrespectful and annoying. What can I do? I don't want to get into the drama at workplace (it's a pretty small place), but I also can't just let her dominate everything and don't treat our boss right. Any ideas?

[sunmaidliz]

Dont get into the drama. There are always the couple of coworkers who are pushy and obnoxious and rude and get their way. Nursing is filled with those kinds of broads. Just stay out of the drama. Your boss is a big girl and can manage things well. Thats why she has the job right? The situation you describe doesnt sound like she crossed any major lines. In fact you guys got a lunch out of it probably because she knew it wouldnt happen otherwise. There are always going to be people on tje job who rub you the wrong way and there is going to be a time where you will rub some one the wrong way and they will feel the need to "do" something about it which may in turn hurt your job. Dont hurt someone elses job just because you find them annoying. In fact you shouls watch her and take note on how to be a top dog in a field where there is a very pronounced pecking order. It is usually the top dogs who keep their jobs. And in this market nurses are a dime a dozen.

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

You have no control over how the boss reacts to any situation.

You have no control over what behavior the boss finds acceptable, and what she doesn't.

You can't control how your colleagues behave.

You have a bully on your hands, but it's not your job to police her.

It's the bosses job.

Instead of blasting the bully, I'd be blasting the boss for being weak, and not doing her job.

Why didn't the rest of you voice opposition to taking a lunch if you didn't want to? If the meeting was scheduled for 2 hrs, I would have expected that time frame to be upheld.

As much as you like your boss, and dislike the pushy nurse, the problem is not where you're pointing.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

You have no idea what the boss is doing about this coworker. Chances are, this issue is being handled privately - as it should be. But there is nothing stopping you from confronting bossypant's behavior when it affects you. You could have said "Hey bossypants, we all plan on eating lunch, but we don't have a lot of time for this meeting, so we should focus on our agenda and worry about lunch later on"

[caliotter3]

You have no idea what the boss is doing about this coworker. Chances are, this issue is being handled privately - as it should be. But there is nothing stopping you from confronting bossypant's behavior when it affects you. You could have said "Hey bossypants, we all plan on eating lunch, but we don't have a lot of time for this meeting, so we should focus on our agenda and worry about lunch later on"

The boss also had the opportunity to take the bull by the horns and make this statement. Since she did not, apparently she wanted lunch.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

Your boss needs to put on her big girl panties and have a come to Jesus conversation with your coworker. Although, personally, she's let it go on this long, it either A: doesn't bother her the way it bothers you, or B: she's not good management material. I think it may be a blend of those two.

Coworkers bully peers because they can. Grown professionals are not 6 year olds on the playground, they ALLOW this behavior.