Published Apr 21, 2009
nurz2be
847 Posts
Ok, first off my husband sent this too me, so, you can already tell it is biased as all get-out. I hope you ladies enjoy and learn what is really happening to our SO.
Man Flu - The Facts...
1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*.
*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)
2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from
a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the
rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.
3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is
medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught, he would
still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in
all other kinds of manly activities.
4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans
of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.
5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple
requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so
much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it (THIS part cracked me UP)
6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of
other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).
7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and
come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition
amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest
heroes this country has ever known.
8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full
blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell
off.
9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The
A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady
medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of
Man-Flu.
10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around enjoying
'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact that the exact
pitch and frequency of D*ck Van Dyke's voice has remarkable soothing
powers.
Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women, all
we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some kind words and
your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this
monstrous disease together...
netglow, ASN, RN
4,412 Posts
I used to work for a Doc that resembles the above.
He got sick so much it was ridiculous (maybe he should remove his gloves before typing on his computer keyboard... ewwww!) Anyway, he would drag his sorry self down the hall and just stand there till I noticed him, and then tell me he felt sick, and that he wanted me to cancel the afternoon patients. I'd say no, you can stay till the end of the day... "man-up, Doc!" ... LOL. One time he was in his office and couldn't stop coughing, you know, the kind of itchy cough that won't stop. He yells from his office between coughs, "Isn't anyone going to help me out there, I'm choking!" So... I get him some hot tea, and bring it to him, tell him to drink it. He tells me no, that it won't help. I tell him to just shut up and drink it. The coughing stops. Then he tells me that I'm mean.:wink2:
Curious_53
29 Posts
LOL Thanks for sharing, I needed the laugh!
kanzi monkey
618 Posts
8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell off.
Oh, this destroyed me!
:hpygrp:
Screen name
151 Posts
lul!
I hardly ever get sick... so when I do I milk it for all it's worth.
I've had Man-Flu for about 12 days now...
Silverdragon102, BSN
1 Article; 39,477 Posts
Moved to the nursing humour forum
pooh54
91 Posts
OMG!!!! Still laughing!
squeakykitty
934 Posts
This is FUNNY!! The only answer I have to this is:
Man-flu=wussitis