The fragments of what make up a life happen year to year. I wrote this short story about the journey God took me down to find nursing and the trials I experienced along the way. Despite the challenges, I also had so much encouragement on my path and couldn't be finishing my education if it wasn't for my wonderful fiance and all of his support. I left a lucrative night club management position and now I am an LPN and in school for my BSN. Despite the nine year uphill climb and constant obstacles, I know nursing is for me and I love caring for others. I look forward to graduating in three semesters I hope my mother will get to see me accept my diploma.
I've often said God sent me my most difficult patient, an end stage COPD'er so I would have the wisdom to effectively care for #2 toughee, my Mom. We learn MORE from the lived experiences of our patients, than book learning at times.. May the lessons learned caring for your Mother help enrich your RN career.
I felt that I needed to leave a comment. This story is so similar to my own in so many ways. Being a nurse is not about the money...if it is I have not seen any of it. Your experience touched my heart and I am glad that you shared it. I do believe that some of us are pushed into the vocation of nursing by God, and may not understand why in the beginning. My story being similar to yours, I wanted to let you know that I am now in my first semester of MSN program. I wish you all the luck in the world. You are a strong individual who has obviously realized nursing care as a vocation in your life. God Bless.
As the music played loudly and the whiskey flowed, I heard it, "nursing." I went about my night running the busy club. At the end, tips in hand and another large paycheck for my management salary, I walked to my car with the sun rising. I thought to myself "why would I ever quit such a lucrative career?"
As I drove home I saw the fresh faces in their scrubs going into the hospital, coffee in hand. I went to bed, woke up at noon, rinsed, and repeated.
A week later, I watched the girl stumble out of the bar with the guy she just met. I closed my eyes for a second and prayed that she didn't regret how much she had to drink. I prayed that God keep her safe and I heard it again, "nursing."
As we sat after hours drinking our favorite sleep aid with coke, I confessed to my boyfriend that I wanted to go to nursing school. "I am tired of praying that people get home safe and I am ready to help someone. I think God wants more from me." He laughed out loud, teased me in front of the others, and they proceeded to explain to me that I am "not the nursing type."
One year and one unhappy ex-boyfriend later, LPN school and paying the bills were my biggest challenges. One more year, and I found myself roaming the hallways of an LTAC looking for a way to do this "helping" I had so longed for. To no avail, for all I found was inadequacy. There was no storybook here, just a long shift without enough staff and I was finally faced with the realities of the nurse to patient ratio in facilities whose dollar is more important than helping.
As I sat next to Mr. Doe who had no family and charted to the rhythmic sound of his ventilator, I looked up to God and said "Is this it? Is this why you pushed me out of my lucrative job into a wasteland of student loans and the scant paycheck of an LPN? Why did I feel so compelled to do this?"
One year of ventilators and taking pre-requisites for a BSN program and I convinced myself I just misunderstood God. I was meant to be a registered nurse all along...I don't know why I rushed into the LPN program.
One year later I answer my phone . . . lung cancer with mets to the brain . . . 10 months to live. I am a nurse! I can help her!
I drove home immediately and planned on dropping out of school to care for her. She talked me into staying on track and said "God has a plan for you love." As I talked my mother out of going on the ventilator and asked her to hug God for me I knew, I didn't misunderstand Him. I was meant for nursing all along. He just needed me to hurry.
About ninnieof02, BSN, RN
I am a 34 year old woman and reaching the end of my up-hill climb. I am in my third semester of BSN school and surviving. I finally feel I found my way and thank God for the knowledge nursing gave me to care for my mother in her final months.
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