lost my baby

asilmk · Jan 7, 2006

So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself through this difficult time. And a hug for the baby's father, too.

ERNurse752, RN · Jan 7, 2006

I'm sorry. Take care of each other. We'll be praying for you.

nurse_wannabe · Jan 7, 2006

Oh, my gosh. :crying2: I am so very sorry for your loss. I've suffered a 1st trimester miscarriage and a recent full-term stillbirth, and am currently trying to conceive. It is so painful. I still cry everyday. I take comfort in the idea that God used me to create a perfect, tiny angel. If you would like to talk to someone who has been through it, please feel free to private message me.

Sending big hugs and prayers your way. :icon_hug:

K205 · Jan 7, 2006

I'm crying right now, reading all the wonderful messages you all have left myself and Keith. It's so hard. My heart goes out to you and the other posters who have shared their stories of loss. My biggest hope is that we all will be posting pictures of our beautiful babies on this site someday. May God bless you all and Happy, Healthy New Year:icon_hug:

Oh, my gosh. I am so very sorry for your loss. I've suffered a 1st trimester miscarriage and a recent full-term stillbirth, and am currently trying to conceive. It is so painful. I still cry everyday. I take comfort in the idea that God used me to create a perfect, tiny angel. If you would like to talk to someone who has been through it, please feel free to private message me.
Sending big hugs and prayers your way. :icon_hug:

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Jan 7, 2006

((((((((((KIM))))))))))

I am so very, very sorry this happened to you. There is nothing on earth more painful than the loss of a child, and you must give yourself time to grieve for her before you can go on to create a new life. No matter how brief the life, we who have lost little ones know that they were real persons, if only for a brief moment in time; and when they go it means the loss of our hopes and dreams.

Well-meaning people will say things like "It was for the best" or "You can always have another baby". Don't let anyone trivialize your grief in this way; as far as you're concerned right now, going through this is NOT 'for the best', and besides, you wanted THIS baby. In time, your wounded heart and scarred soul will heal; right now, you and your husband need to comfort each other and take things one day at a time.

I also would advise you to consider waiting a little while before you try again, because you need time to go through the mourning process and learn that this baby cannot be 'replaced' I say this because I too lost an infant many years ago, a full-term baby girl who also had a neural tube defect (anencephaly). Only I tried to put the grief away too soon, and I wound up having a nervous breakdown a few months later; I'd tried to get pregnant right away, and spent month after month crying whenever I got my period, which drove my husband crazy as well. We nearly split up; luckily, we had an understanding friend who helped us through this awful time, and 21 months later, God blessed us with a perfect, healthy, beautiful daughter.

In the meantime, be good to one another, and please know that the thoughts and prayers of many will be with you through this sad time.

murphpa · Jan 7, 2006

We lost a baby at 20 weeks, I am so sorry to hear of your loss

maledi · Jan 7, 2006

I'm very sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers and may god or whatever higher force you belive in carry you through this difficult time. Take Care.

Annor · Jan 7, 2006

Hi Ya'll. I found out 2 weeks ago that my baby had a 7 mm nuchal fold and a huge omphocele:o . We went to Dartmouth in Hanover and they gave us no hope. I also had placenta previa, so the doctor wanted me to terninate quickly to avoid a c-section later on. We wanted this baby so badly. I'm heartbroken. Please keep us in your prayers, we'll try again in a couple months. Love to all, Kim

Dear Kim,

Sending my dear thoughts to you ....please know you are in my prayers

(((BIG HUGS)))

Annabelle57 · Jan 7, 2006

i am so sorry for your loss, k205. many, many, many endless hugs and love to you. :icon_hug:

i don't know if this will help the grieving process at all... but there's a wonderful christian group called watermark that wrote a song a few years back called "glory baby". they're a husband-wife duo, and they suffered a couple of miscarriages before they had two beautiful, healthy children - this song is about those miscarriages. anyway, the song is beautiful - i'll put the lyrics below:

glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby...baby..

you were growing, what happened dear?

you disappeared on us baby...baby..

heaven will hold you before we do

heaven will keep you safe until we're home with you...

until we're home with you...

and we miss you everyday

miss you in every way

but we know there's a

day when we will hold you

we will hold you

and you'll kiss our tears away

when we're home to stay

can't wait for the day when we will see you

we will see you

but baby let sweet jesus hold you

'till mom and dad can hold you...

you'll just have heaven before we do

sweet little babies, it's hard to

understand it 'cause we're hurting

we are hurting

but there is healing

and we know we're stronger people through the growing

and in knowing-

that all things work together for our good

and god works his purposes just like he said he would...

just like he said he would...

bridge:

i can't imagine heaven's lullabies

and what they must sound like

but i will rest in knowing, heaven is your home

and it's all you'll ever know...all you'll ever know...