License reinstated but no one will hire me

[47lpn]

SORRY THIS IS LONG Eight years ago I lost my license due t a felony conviction of obtaining controlled substances. I made a terrible decision about how to deal with a life crisis during that time and was addicted to pain medications. In 2009 I finally got up the nerve to attempt to get my license reinstated. I didn't try before then because I felt ashamed and unworthy and didn't think I had a chance, but to my surprise and after a lot of hoop jumping and $2700.00, my license was reinstated. I was elated. I had never had an addiction before 8 years ago and never had a problem nor relapse after and went through rehab. I was also able to get my record expunged. The problem I am having now is that no one will hired me. Although I can legally check "no" on the convictions question, there is still an adverse disciplinary action on my license that spells out the whole incident and therefore I have to begin every interview with....."8 years ago...and explain what happened. The problem I now face is that although my record is expunged and my background check comes back clear, I am still being denied employment at every turn. I have been honest with everyone upfront and have even had 4 facilities offer me employment knowing my history, and then take back the offer due to someone on the corporate level saying no. I have sent out 74 resumes in a little over 30 days most with applications attached and a summary of my disciplinary action included and no one is responding. I've been applying and job hunting for 3 months. If I do get lucky and get to meet someone face to face, they will give me all this positive talk about how everyone makes mistakes and it's ok, and then I never hear from them again. The BON told me that hundreds of nurses have these types of things on their records and still can be employed. I feel like I have wasted my time, energy, hopes and a lot of money that I didn't have to spare for nothing. When I finally got my license back, I was so full of hope and optimism. I knew it would be hard having that mark on my record, but I never dreamed it would be like this. I have been comfort eating, depressed and reliving the shame that I've felt for so many years all over again and it is making me want to give up because I just don't know what to do. I have applied for CNA and caregiver positions just to get my foot back in the door and to build trust. I have applied for receptionists' positions in physicians offices and even offered to volunteer at our local hospital in order to establish trust and let them see my work ethic before they hire, but they have all just blown me off, or said we'll call you and I never hear from them. Does anyone have any suggestions or should I just hang it up?

Thanks in advance and sorry to be so down right now.

[Dixiecup]

so sorry this is happening to you. Don't give up! (I know that's easy for me to say).

I feel so lucky I had personol friends who were in the position to hire me and I was still respected by them even after my grave error in judgement.

One of them hired me as the ADON at my current facility and now I am the person who does a lot of the hiring and believe me, I give everyone a chance. It's so different when you have walked in their shoes.

[gr8fulnrs]

OMG...47lpn...you are my clone!!! I am going through what you are exactly, and I mean to the T! I feel as if I'm like Alice in Wonderland who had fell down this huge job search hole only to find strange and tricky people at every corner! I went on a job interview last week in which i had the interviewing nurse gave me a hug before the interview and after. I've never gotten hugs before, only hand shakes. I did tell her just a little bit of my past and my current recovery situation, so I'm thinking maybe she has gone the same path as me. and i thought for sure i would get a call back to be hired, but havent heard anything. and as you, I remember the feeling when I got my newly reinstated license in the mail...I was so elated, I was walking on clouds. That was a year and 4 monthes ago. Ive been on the job search ever since. My support group and other nurses are telling me dont give up, something will turn up. But day by day I am wilting, comfort eating, staring out the window for hours at a time just sitting. Ive re-written my resume a couple times, written cover letters, bought very expensive "interviewing clothes". I will be attending a nursing and health care career expo in pheonix on monday so maybe something will turn up there. Let me know if you do secure a job, so I can find out what you said and how you did it, and I'll do the same for you!

[jackstem]

A majority of nurses go through this. Why? Because we (the profession and our society) still see this disease as a lack of willpower, questionable moral character, and something we "chose" to do. All you have to do is read some of the posts on this web site to know very few nurses understand the pathophysiology of the disease.

It doesn't matter that the ANA specifically discusses this in their monograph on Ethics. Section 3.6 Addresses impaired practice:

"...The nurse extends compassion and caring to colleagues who are in recovery from illness or when illness interferes with job performance.In a situation where a nurse suspects another's practice may be impaired, the nurse's duty is to take action designed both to protect patients and to assure that the impaired individual receives assistance in regaining optimal function."

Very few programs teach anything about the disease. They teach all sorts of stuff about the consequences, but not the actual disease. People also seem, to think having training in nursing or medicine decreases the chance of developing the disease. You mean like being a cardiologist protects against heart disease, or being an oncologist protects against cancer? No one believes that because they accept cancer and heart disease as actual diseases.

Sad but true.

Jack

[bucksnut1981]

hey you just have to keep trying.....i had my license suspended for a year and got a job as soon as i got them back....by the grace of God only......but it is not muchand have been trying to get a better job since and keep running into the same thing...my narc rescritons should be lifted by the end of the month and i keep hearing that oh we don't have a problem with this but HR wont let me hire you......we just have to keep the faith and something will come along

[AudBall]

i'm just now experiencing the formal charges of diversion with trafficking. and have been trying to work with the bon to protect my license. however, the requirements are steep, both financially, emotionally, and time consuming. i had been considering a voluntary surrender of my license vs continuing in the alternative program. but if i'm not even going to be able to work or find work after making all of this effort to prove my recovery and character, it hardly seems worth it to have a license. i've also researched the option of changing careers, and i have found that it is near impossible to obtain any type of employment or degree with my "criminal history." i made bad decisions. i became an addict. i confessed to my director of nursing and to the board of nursing. i am in recovery. i am unemployed (was terminated). i have ruined my life.

my advice to anyone addicted and diverting.... resign your job. obtain treatment (be honest to yourself... really get sober and clean). then return back to work when you are healthy. because, in my experience, fessing up ruins your life...

[caliotter3]

You are just going to have to do what everyone else who is unemployed does, keep on trying to get a job until you get one. Expect it to be a harder road, but don't be negative in your outlook when you go for an interview. Personally, if I were an interviewer, I would be turned off by an applicant who started the interview with "X number of years ago, and so on". Instead, I would want to hear, "I have X number of years experience in ....." and the start of a conversation about your job skills. I would expect a forthright answer to my one or two questions later during the interview, but I wouldn't care to conduct an interview that concerned nothing but your addiction history. JMO

[jackstem]

i'm just now experiencing the formal charges of diversion with trafficking. and have been trying to work with the bon to protect my license. however, the requirements are steep, both financially, emotionally, and time consuming. i had been considering a voluntary surrender of my license vs continuing in the alternative program. but if i'm not even going to be able to work or find work after making all of this effort to prove my recovery and character, it hardly seems worth it to have a license. i've also researched the option of changing careers, and i have found that it is near impossible to obtain any type of employment or degree with my "criminal history." i made bad decisions. i became an addict. i confessed to my director of nursing and to the board of nursing. i am in recovery. i am unemployed (was terminated). i have ruined my life.

my advice to anyone addicted and diverting.... resign your job. obtain treatment (be honest to yourself... really get sober and clean). then return back to work when you are healthy. because, in my experience, fessing up ruins your life...

i need a clarification of your post. you said you're "facing the formal charges of diversion with trafficking." and then you said you became an addict.

here's why i'm asking. the overall meaning of "diversion" is that someone is taking something that was intended for someone else. if i take a box of pens from the unit's inventory of pens, i'm guilty of "diverting" the pens. another more blunt term is "theft". severity of the charge if caught is determined by the "worth" of that which was taken. the charge would be theft and could be a misdemeanor or a felony depending on the value of the thing(s) stolen.

this scenario would escalate as to severity if you stole the goods and then sold them.

the nurse practice act defines the "severity" of diversion by what happens after the controlled substance is diverted (that's already a felony). if a nurse diverts it for personal use, the boards with effective alternative to discipline programs will deal with that individual in a much different way than it does for the nurse who diverts controlled substances and then sells them or gives them to others (that's the trafficking charge). the consequences for the first nurse (in states with effective alternative programs) diverting for "personal use" (to feed the demon of addiction) are much less severe/punitive than a nurse who diverts and then gives or sells the drugs to another person. the fact that this nurse might also be addicted may be fodder for a deal and lessen some of the consequences, but the addicted nurse who uses and sells the diverted drugs is seen as a completely different "problem" than the "pure addict".

i hope that made sense. i also hope you have an attorney representing you for criminal charges and another before the board of nursing. it's just as important in dealing with the bon as a criminal defense attorney is for someone facing criminal charges. and the attorney representing you before the board needs to practice administrative law with experience in license defense. just as you don't want a divorce lawyer representing you in a murder case, you don't want a criminal attorney to represent you before the board (unless they also practice administrative law with experience facing the board of nursing). contact the american association of nurse attorneys to found out how they may be able to help. visit their web site or call the referral hotline: [phone].

i know this is a sore subject for many, many, many nurses...both on this forum as well as nurses as an overall profession. yes, attorneys are expensive. but if you were facing criminal charges that could put you away for a long time you would either find the money (begging or borrowing...hopefully not stealing). the more likely scenario would be a public defender would be appointed since one of rights under the constitution provides us with representation if we can't afford one. that doesn't happen in civil or administrative/corporate law. but, if you want the best possible outcome, waiting until the board has conducted their investigation and made their ruling may be too late for an attorney to be of much assistance. as soon as you receive the notice you are being investigated is the time to get the attorney.

this is why i recommend that every nurse obtain their own professional Liability Insurance with a clause that provides an attorney for representation when there is possible action against their license. the employers policy covers the employer. if the nurse becomes a "liability" for the employer, they may settle out of court and then bring a suit against the nurse. nurses cannot rely on employer provided "malpractice" insurance like they did 30 - 40 years ago.

i have no idea where you are in the process, but it sounds as though you are pretty far along. if you haven't been contacted by a board investigator, board member,or anyone else associated with the board, my advice is hiore an attorney with experience in license defense. borrow from family, friends, take out a second mortgage, borrow against your pension (if you have one) or a cash value life insurance policy. attempting to represent yourself in this matter makes no more sense than attempting to defend yourself against any criminal charges you may be facing. it's difficult to get the best outcome if you don't understand the laws involved and can't remain emotionally detached from the process and outcome. these are the same reasons surgeons don't operate on family members and attorneys don't represent family members in felony cases with long jail time or the death penalty.

the board of nursing is not your friend, and they will not advocate for you. facing them alone or with the advice of well meaning friends or family is like facing a winter storm in your swim suit. if you're built like me, it will be very ugly and the outcome is going to be like varying degrees of frostbite...leading to the loss of various body parts which could have minor effects on your practice, or make it very difficult to practice nursing.

making bad choices can have serious consequences, as everyone here knows from experience. but, cancer patients, those with heart disease or other chronic, progressive, potentially fatal diseases if not treated appropriately do not face the same stigma and bias that addicts do. the smoker didn't intend to get cancer but did. we still treat them to the best of our abilities. the addict didn't intend to become addicted, but we treathem like dirt. we find it acceptable to treat them in a half....baked manner, and if they relapse it's their fault because they really didn't want to get well. bull!!!!

we...as recovering health care professionals...have got to become active advocates for ourselves and the addicts who are currently suffering as well as the ones who will come after us. i was grateful for all of the garbage i went through when we discovered our youngest daughter was addicted to cocaine. if i hadn't had my experience she could very easily died. my ex-wife, her mother, is an excellent nurse and outstanding business woman. but she doesn't "get" this disease and was a huge obstacle to my recovery (which is why we divorced) and was even worse with our daughter. i am eternally grateful to my daughter's stepdad. he had no idea how to handle her disease, so he called me and asked if she could come live with me. he said it's clear her mother is totally lost andhe feard for my daughter's life if she stayed with them.

we have a huge journey ahead of us, trying to change the current paradigm regarding addiction. who better to help make that change the recovering nurses? we can change this. we have to become intimately involved in making that change happen.

keep us posted as to how things are going. i will keep you in my prayers!

jack

[AudBall]

Jack~

Thank you so much for your post and for sharing some of the details of your life! To clarify: I diverted for my personal addiction and use. Never did I sell or give a controlled substance to any other person... except my patients, obviously, with physician orders... The diversion gives me the criminal charge of embezzlement of a controlled substance. However, trafficking doesn't only mean with the intent to sell. As explained to me by my attorney and the State Bureau of Investigation (who called me yesterday to inform me of the allegations)... trafficking can be determined solely based on the volume of the controlled substance diverted, even if all was for personal addiction use. Both charges are felony, however, the trafficking charge comes with mandatory jail time. My atty is trying to negotiate with the DA to get the trafficking dropped, but ultimately, I'm at the mercy of the DA alone. Usually, trafficking is dropped when someone identifies a supplier, makes an additional purchase with police knowledge, and the police then arrest the supplier and drop trafficking on the defendant based on their cooperation with the investigation. However, since I embezzled / stole from the hospital, I have no supplier... and nothing to offer as negotiating power... Only the mercy of a stranger - the DA.

So, as stated above, I do have a criminal defense attorney retained. However, I've cooperated with the board and am in an "Alternative Plan" for recovering addicted nurses. It requires admission of addiction and strict compliance to an intensive recovery program x 3 years. It's a non-disciplinary intervention that does not require the BON to conduct an investigation. So, I do not have an administrative attorney as it's not necessary. However, statements that I made to the board, confessing the details of my diversion can be released to the SBI. The board told me that my confession was confidential and would not be used in an investigation against me. Well, that was only half true. It isn't being used against me by a BON investigation, but is being used against me by the state.

While it took dreadful events to get me here, I'm happy to be recovering. However, I've been very saddened by the lack of compassion from the BON, my former employer and co-workers. But, fortunately, I'm strong and I'm not going to let addiction or judgement from people beat me.

I meet with my attorney and the SBI to make my formal statement this coming Friday. I'll keep you posted... My journey is just beginning. It's been traumatic so far, and worst case scenario has been the norm. So, the future is a bit scary. I appreciate the prayers! I'm begging all prayer warriors... please don't forget me!

[gabby3]

what state are you from ,is that normal that you get charged like that. What I mean is every nurse who diverts gets charges with trafficking?

[AudBall]

i am located in north carolina.

i've done my research, and i don't think the trafficking will apply. the dea clearly states on it's website all drugs by schedule and the amounts required for trafficking... and a recommended penalty. fentanyl amounts need to be 40-399gms! as most of you know, fentanyl is dispensed in micrograms. it would take an enormous amount. the hospital i worked for probably doesn't even keep enough in stock in the pharmacy.... my attorney said this charge is an attempt to obtain a "shotgun affect" from me... meaning, i'm overwhelmed by all of the allegations... begin to believe i am a bad person and deserve every punishment recommended.... and accept ridiculous charges without a fight.

in no way am i trying to play a victim. i admittedly diverted and used the fentanyl i obtained. i became addicted, and eventually had no ability to refrain from using. dispensed the drug using patient names that were not my patients, and patients that didn't have the drug ordered. my addiction controlled me. however, i never anticipated that my confession would initiate the sequence of events that have transpired. i expected consequence. but i also expected some degree of empathy and an offer for rehabilitation. silly me, obviously my thought processes were truly impaired.

at the present, i am unemployed, acruing incredible debt for treatment and criminal defense, and fighting depression from the circumstances... in addition to recovering from the addiction. and, let's not forget all of the issues i'm working with the board of nursing on in an attempt to remain licensed. fortunately, my partner is fully supporting my recovery and it has not affected our relationship in any way other than financially. i am incredibly lucky!

on the down side... i have 3 children, ages 18, 15 and 12. i have not disclosed the nature of my loss of employment or my addiction to them. i fail to see the therapeutic benefits of hurting them and have chose to deal with that issue if and when my business becomes public knowledge... and acknowledging that the local paper here publishes even moving violations, the possibility of me being able to shield them from the hurt of knowing is very slim.

in the meantime, i'm playing paralegal... doing a ton of research to educate myself and utilize my rights! letting go of anger is a daily battle for me, but it is not going to help my situation in any way. so, i'm focusing on recovery and living a clean, happy life... one step at a time. but that doesn't mean for one minute that i'm letting my guard down.

i will continue to post the details of my situation as they develop in an effort to educate others on their rights, and hoping they can protect themselves. i am not a bad person! and neither are any of you. good people do stupid things everyday... educate yourselves. it is empowering in a number of ways. :)

[ayneday]

Thanks jackstem and audball, I am surprised by how professionals like us are tossed aside, or rather we allow those around us- other professionals to discount us a if we are dismissible. I have experienced the alternative program, I have the disease of addiction but I am not using nor have I since approx mid 2007. I entered the AP while in recovery in a 28day rehab facility per fax transmissal to my EAP and the BON. I was totally sick of my perpetually suicidal poisoning cycle and all I wanted was relief, so w/o legal council of quickly lapped up any offer extended just to have a reprieve from my obsession.

I don't know how much "chatter" takes place regarding our "secret society" but I know once in recovery and working a program we are fully employable and productive. Jack is correct in stating that the BON is NOT an advocate for nurses, NEVER forget that, regardless of frequency and quality of communication they are concerned with protecting the millions of recipients of health svcs as opposed to the providers.

I am unemployed now, I have been for 9 mos, but in this time I have been able to more clearly define who I am, what I stand for and what my role is. I am still participating in random screenings as asked by BON but today remain clean and thankful because I live with integrity b/c I desire it. So I am no longer a pink sheet completing monkey fearful of every NCBON caller id call I get, rather I know my most recent consequences have nothing to do with drugs,diversion or any substance=ALLWAYs read and reread the alt pgm contract regarding "pending charges" that is what got me removed from alt program, not drugs, ETOH, no RELAPSE, no beating pts noooo, none of that. Failure to notify the BON of pending charges and answering NO to pending charges on license renewal website. Honest mistakes, honestly never thought my personal life not involving drugs or ETOH or any of that would get me booted out of alt program.

So Jack and audball I empathize, I shed the same infuriating tear that trails on to boil away on my inflamed cheek. Can we all say "it wasn't supposed to happen like this!" I know, we remain talented and resourceful and even better experienced thus better prepared for all situations. We know ourselves better than before, we are fortunate and will rise successfully. Best wishes, contact me and tell me how things are in your lives.