letter to potential ER employer...please read and critique! Thanks

[Trilldayz,RN BSN]

Below is my email to a potential employer in the ER for the hospital that I work at. This my ABSOLUTE first choice and competition for the preceptorship program in this area is STIFF!!!!!!!!! It's a big hospital in the Texas Med. Center. I wanted to tell her my positives and really let her know how much I think I "fit". (By the way, mentioned in this letter below is the TIPS program. This is basically a Student Nurse internship that prepares selected students and integrates them into this hospital and other hospital and clinic affiliates. We get priority in employment after graduation and we are titled Nurse Technicians) Let me know what you think. Suggestions, ideas, or changes are greatly appreciated!Good Morning Ms. XXX. My name is Trilldayz,SN and I was referred to you by one of the Nurse Managers in the Emergency Department at XXX. I am a Nurse Technician 2 that is attending XXX University in XYZ, Texas. I will be graduating with my BSN this May. I am a Harris County Hospital Disrtict Transition Into Practice (TIPS) member, under the direction of Ms.XXX. I work in the Emergency Room at XXX when I am off from school and I have really enjoyed my various experiences and the staff has been a pivotal role in my learning. I've really grown to love this unit and I am very comfortable with what goes on; it's "home" to me. I enjoy learning about critical care and trauma. I have a very strong interest in Emergency Nursing and I would appreciate if I could possibly be considered for an Graduate ER Nurse Preceptorship position for Spring 2011. By graduation, I will already be certified with both A.C.L.S. and P.A.L.S. certifications, through my university. I will be also be T.N.C.C. educated and prepared, but not certified, due to my lack of RN licensure. But I plan on becoming certified as soon as I am licensed. I have training in EKGs, IVs, phlebotomy, wound care,etc. Also, my 2 year nurse tech experience in this ED has given me invaluable insight of the role and responsibilities of the Registered Nurse in this aspect of Nursing. I believe that I can be a good fit to the ED team, as evidenced by the ED staff's strong positive references of my work ethic and willingness to learn. If there is anybody else that could give me any direction and/or advice as to how to get to my goal, your help would be greatly appreciated. Even if it's just remembering my name :-) .Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.Sincerely,Trilldayz,SN

[Trilldayz,RN BSN]

sorry! i tried putting spaces between my paragraphs and when I pressed Post, it got squished together.

[neelieyelik]

"I will be also be T.N.C.C. educated and prepared, but not certified, due to my lack of RN licensure. But I plan on becoming certified as soon as I am licensed. I have training in EKGs, IVs, phlebotomy, wound care,etc."

These are just a couple of my opinions...

When I read your letter I found myself thinking that this passage could be written better. Instead of saying you are not certified (immediate reaction of reader = UH OH), I would re-word it as something like this...

"I will also be T.N.C.C. educated and prepared, and also plan to become certified as soon as I am licensed."

I think that has a more positive ring to it. Also, never start a sentence with the word "but" like you did above. If you want to keep the sentence similar, saying something along the lines of "I plan, however, to become certified as soon as I am licensed" sounds much more gramatically correct.

Good luck to you!! I'm a nursing student and will soon be on the hunt for a job as well.

:heartbeat Neelie