Lessons Learned

I am your coworker, your boss, perhaps your best friend; the one that you suspect least of being an addict. Please understand, no one wakes up and decides to destroy their career and put their patients at risk. Addiction, regardless of the substance, is not a moral failure. It is not a failure to try. For most of us, we started out with the highest ideals, worked hard, but were unable to manage the intense powder keg that is healthcare. I thought I could. I thought I was different, and that because I knew so much about these various substances, that I would somehow know if I was in trouble and would be able to stop on my own. I was wrong. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Lessons Learned

Now that I've had a bit of breathing time after finishing my monitoring, I'd like to reflect upon what I have learned from this with all of you. In other words, those of us who finish our programs don't just walk off into the sunset on a pretty beach LOL

For me, the program was sort of a mixed blessing. I went into it after being clean for 16 years. I had no problem with going to meetings and checking in. What I had issue with was the culture of fear that all of these programs operate on. I realize that developing accountability saves lives and that they have to protect the public. But what I have seen and to a somewhat lesser extent experienced first hand leaves me feeling rather jaded. There has to be a better way.

There has to be a better way to do this, not basing it on tests that are NOT FDA approved and as we all know, are not infallible. Develop better testing with better ways of detecting relapse that don't involve "guilty regardless of what you say" or "guilty until proven innocent". Do not determine that relapse has occurred on the basis of one test, instead, follow the recommendations of the Etg test developer and SAMSA who advise AGAINST using it as the sole factor, but instead say it should be used in combination with other behavioral and clinical signs/symptoms.

There has to be a better way to do this than sweeping everybody, regardless of whether one's issue is mental health or substance abuse, under one common hat, and forcing everybody to sign a lengthy and expensive contract under the threat of license discipline. This is, in the long run, not a true deterrent against addiction; nor does it protect the public if the practitioners in these programs are not being helped. Making those with mental health issues attend meetings when they don't have a substance abuse problem is highly counterproductive. Imposing conditions on anyone that make no sense in the light of their circumstances also makes no sense and is counterproductive. Making the excuse that the public is protected is bull and we all know it. Making money off people that really have no other choice if they want to continue to practice, IS NOT AIDING IN THEIR RECOVERY.

I had no problem with the accountability but I highly object to the "one size fits all" and being told that while the program is voluntary, there's nothing voluntary about signing a contract that limits you to the degree these programs do. Yes. Addicts, alcoholics and those with mental issues still have rights. The right to bodily integrity is very important to me, being able to pee in private was something that I didn't realize was important to me until I got into the program I was in. There are people who will adulterate urine samples, I get that. But treating people that don't alter their samples like they do? There's got to be a better way.

That said, I got to meet some great people and am still clean. Some of the best people I've ever met, I have met as a result of doing my monitoring. They understand about the "little" things I mentioned above and how, even though I knew I hadn't relapsed when I got my positive test in September, I still felt like crap and I still really wondered about how I'd messed up and caused the test to be positive. I still don't know how that happened in my case. But these people believed in me, believed me, and stood by me. THAT is truly AMAZING. I was able to see that members of my profession stood by me, when in June at my Reinstatement hearing before the Board of Nursing, I felt nothing close to that.

Thank you ALL.

I learned the most valuable lesson of all: Staying clean is possible, under any conditions. It's possible when others think you aren't and want to label you. If at any time, others treat you like that, DO NOT LET IT GET IN YOUR HEAD. Take a deep breath, de louse when you have to, and feel for those that don't have the insight to see that not everybody who is in these programs, relapses. If you know the truth, don't let anyone treat you otherwise.

I also learned very valuable lessons on preparation, advocating for myself, keeping daily written notes and records of EVERY conversation and communication I had with names, dates, etc., and on how to believe in myself.

The last, is priceless. Thank you all for listening.

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SororAKS

About SororAKS, ADN, RN

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Sounds like you've learned the lessons that these programs (as long as they're designed properly) are supposed to teach, and for that I commend you. Well done! :yes:

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No other profession does this type of punishment, not police officers, not firemen, and not social workers. It is sad that a profession that prides itself on helping and healing causes so much stress and anxiety to its own. I have never been so stressed out for so long for as long as I can remember. I am a veteran and don't remember ever having this much anxiety on a daily basis for such a long period of time. I absolutely love my profession for all the things noted above and knowing I can be a big part of it. Instead of a form of punishment we should show support and therapeutic recovery as we do with any other disease.

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Specializes in ER, ICU/CCU, Open Heart OR Recovery, Etc.
No other profession does this type of punishment, not police officers, not firemen, and not social workers. It is sad that a profession that prides itself on helping and healing causes so much stress and anxiety to its own. I have never been so stressed out for so long for as long as I can remember. I am a veteran and don't remember ever having this much anxiety on a daily basis for such a long period of time. I absolutely love my profession for all the things noted above and knowing I can be a big part of it. Instead of a form of punishment we should show support and therapeutic recovery as we do with any other disease.

Other professions do these types of programs in most states, including doctors, lawyers, pharmacists. See disruptedphysician.com

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Thanks so much for sharing your success story. Addiction is a topic that is often hushed up.

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Specializes in ER, ICU/CCU, Open Heart OR Recovery, Etc.
Thanks so much for sharing your success story. Addiction is a topic that is often hushed up.

Hushed up, punished and hidden. I have often looked at this and wondered what might happen if we were able to set aside all the heavy morality associated with this, and looked at it with authenticity. Authenticity on an individual, professional, and societal level that seeks to find facts and relationships instead of blame, fault finding and suppression.

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No other profession does this type of punishment, not police officers, not firemen, and not social workers.

The reason doctors, nurses, and pharmacists are subjected to these types of policies is because of the easy access to drugs (and potential for harm to our patients) that are not present in other professions. I'm not saying there isn't room for improvement, but let's acknowledge the difference here.

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Specializes in ER, ICU/CCU, Open Heart OR Recovery, Etc.
The reason doctors, nurses, and pharmacists are subjected to these types of policies is because of the easy access to drugs (and potential for harm to our patients) that are not present in other professions. I'm not saying there isn't room for improvement, but let's acknowledge the difference here.

Absolutely, and to an extent I agree with that angle due to the potential for harm.

No one, least of all me, thinks that this is not a serious issue, and I am not saying the programs should not exist.

What I am saying is that there should be oversight, accountability, and evidence based practices required of them, as well as those they monitor. That the programs not employ people that are allowed to do whatever they want to do and have little to no recourse for the professionals affected by their decisions.

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Absolutely, and to an extent I agree with that angle due to the potential for harm.

No one, least of all me, thinks that this is not a serious issue, and I am not saying the programs should not exist.

What I am saying is that there should be oversight, accountability, and evidence based practices required of them, as well as those they monitor. That the programs not employ people that are allowed to do whatever they want to do and have little to no recourse for the professionals affected by their decisions.

I understood where you were coming from. My response was strictly meant for that particular poster.

You would know far better than I what the weaknesses of the programs are. Best of luck to you.

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