Leaving Work at Work

[yuzzamatuzz]

I am a new grad and really do love my job, but maybe a little bit too much. I have been working for a little over 4 months and it is getting harder and harder for me to leave work at work. I work on a highly acute pediatric floor and on my days off, I find I am wondering how my patients are doing and if they are okay. I rehash over and over in my head things I should have done differently the day before, things I wish I had time to do but did not, and I worry about my patients who are chronically ill. I rarely take breaks at work because I find myself worrying about my patients, I'd much rather just eat at the nursing station and do paperwork at the same time. The funny thing is that when I am actually at work I never feel bothered by anything, it is when I get home and have time to sit down and think that I begin to feel upset. On my days off, I find myself thinking so much about work that I wish I was there. Everyone tells me that I am going to get burnt out if I continue the way I am going, and it is probably true. I know other people have posted similar things before, but I am really struggling with this. I worry that if I get to the point where I can really leave work at work, I will no longer be warm and compassionate to my patients. How do you leave work at work without losing your compassion? Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

[jelly221,RN]

I find that talking through my day with boyfriend helps a lot. He pretty much "gets it" by now that he understands when I'm looking for input on what I could've done better and when I just need to talk through things and work it out and have someone else feel bad for the sometimes tragic cases we get. I do try to draw a line though and make sure that at some point (like days off especially) I don't think or talk about work too much. Of course, there are some patients that you bond with and think about and are really concerned that they actually take care of themselves and don't end up back with you in a few months.

I always let myself work through my day for 45 minutes or so after I leave, trying to think of things that I have missed. I usually come up with something...an output that I never recorded or something about the patient that I didn't pass in report. If it is important I will call the floor back. If not, then I let myself relax and forget about work. If I haven't thought of something in that 45 minutes then it was not important anyways.

As far as wondering if I did the right thing? You can learn from your mistakes, but you can't go back in time! So maybe I should have hung the antibiotic before tackling insulin (because giving one insulin shot ends up taking 20 minutes by the time you have taken the patient to the bathroom, refilled their ice pitcher, and cut their food into bite size pieces). I do it differently the next day but I don't let myself get beat up over it because it is in the past.

I totally agree with the first paragraph. RE the second- what if the pt with the antibx had to pee too? Then insulin would be late!! Impossible to make perfect "prioritizing" decisions b/c none of us are psychic!!! And if you are, we need to talk, b/c I need to know how my day tomorrow is gonna go.

[kelll]

So true and this is something extremely difficult to teach new nurses. I try and tell them I understand that you want everything to be on time and in the real world we would float like florence nightengale to the bedside and cure world hunger and end war and be miracle workers...as nurses we try our best, use our resources and keep our chin up..the world is not perfect!

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

You will always have this. I wonder re many of my patients on my days off. It shows you care.

Writing a journal each day helps, as it unloads your mind, then you can read back re what has happened and process it that way. It's natural for your mind to go over and over events, for your mind to make sense of it.

Even doing things like yoga & pilates helps you stay strong, focussed and not worry so much re everything else. Do walking, gymwork, take the dog out to a park (if u have one, or get a pet), catch up with friends for a coffee. Do not just make work your life - you will become old quick, very stressed & disillusioned b4 ur time like me.

Just don't make work & nursing your whole life - like I did - cos it won't all work out in the end.