Layman's dictionary of medical terms

[Poi Dog]

anti-body : against everyone

artery : study of paintings

bandages : the rolling stones

bacteria : back door to a cafeteria

barium : what to do when treatment fails (bury em)

botulism : tendency to make mistakes

bowel : letters lik a e i o or u

caesarean section : a district in rome

cardiology : advanced study of card games.

cat scan : searching for ones lost kitty

cauterize : made eye contact with her

coma : punctuation mark

congenital : friendly

cortisone : the local courthouse

dilate : to live long (die late)

enteritis : a penchant for burglary

genes : blue denim slacks

hangnail :coat hook

hemorrhoid : a male from outer space

herpes : what women do in the ladies room

hormones : what a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid

icu : caught you

labor pain : hurt at work

medical staff : a doctor's cane

minor operation: coal digging

morbid : a higher bid

nitrate : cheaper than the day rate

node: was aware of (knowed)

organ transplant : what you do to your piano when you move

organic : organ repairman

outpatient : a person who has fainted

pathological : a reasonable way to go (logical path)

pharmacist : person who makes a living dealing in agriculture (farm assist)

post-operative : a letter carrier

protein : in favor of young people (pro-teen)

recovery : room place to upholster furniture

red blood count : dracula

saline : where you go on your boyfriend's boat (sailing)

secretion : hiding something

surgery : a reason to get an uninterruptible power supply (surge-surgery)

sterile solution : not using the elevator during a fire

tablet : a small table

terminal illness :getting sick at the airport terminal

tibia : country in north africa

tumor : an extra pair (two more)

varicose : nearby (very close)

urine : opposite of "you're out" !

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

I haven't seen this in ages - it's still good

[Poi Dog]

I haven't seen this in ages - it's still good

Its completely sily but it craks me up

[JDZ344]

I saw a list similar once. I wish I could remember it, it was ilarious

[ashleyisawesome, BSN, RN]

ok ill admit this is slightly humorous, but it is not slightly humorous when you clinical instructor uses it to waste time at the end of clinical and gives us this whole list (the definitions) and asks us to try to come up with the meanings. then it is painful... almost two hours!!!!!! haha

i will say though, that i was the winner of her weirdo game, and won myself a pack of highlighters.

[diva rn, BSN, RN]

Oldies but always goodies...and there were some new ones on there too!

Rectum....Heck, it almost killed him!