Ok after delivering 2 in a hospital and having an aweful experience with the L&D nurses my first... and a much better with my 2nd (LOL one nurse was a little resistant but did good )
Anyways how open are you to 100% natural births?
I mean my DS was a natural birth but met with a lot of resistance from my L&D nurse. With my first my nurse was down right mean about me wanting a natural birth.
With my son my nurse was the "natural birth specialist" but yet she wasn't. Every fwe min was trying to do EFM with every contraction, told me no about everything I requested. (I wanted to push squatting on floor, she said no, lol i ignored her and just did it) She wanted me in bed.. lol OB didn't care he said hang upside down if I wanted.. it was only the nurse.
She and my midwife who was with me as a doula really butted heads. Told me no wash cloth on perineum while pushing (LOL i thought that felt great! no need for that thing washcloth on the forehead!). Kept wanting me to put on gown vs letting me run butt naked or wear my own clothes (skirt and bra).
With my first the nurse was down right aweful. Told me to "get a grip" working thru a very fast labor/transition (3hours) as a first time mom. Came in every 5-10 min asking me if I was ready for epidural yet...refused to give me IV meds when requested or zofran (lots of puking)
Is this the norm? How do all of you feel you fit in with natural births or do you not like them? Love them? Think they are more or less work? What are your thoughts on mothers with birthplans for natural births or wanting one? Anyone here never even seen a natural or drug/intervention free birth?
both times my postpartum nurses both times were fabulous.
we don't. For ex, one lady, 2nd baby, going natural like she had done the time before several years before. SHe said "oh i feel like i need to push" so the docs checked her and seh was 9. So i stayed by her bedside encouraging, she kept saying she needed to push, so i'd say "well, how about i check to see if it is time?" she said no. then a few mins later, she'd say "you dont have to check me do you?" and i said "not if you dont want to be checked"
Then she said she knew it wasn't time for the baby yet, b/c she could still stop the pushing feeling.She also said "im 10, i know im at 10" A short while after that, maybe 10 mins, hte clear fluid that had been coming out was really bloody, i got some gloves on quickly she screamed and the head came out. No vag exam necessary!
Where are you at?! LOL i'll have to keep you in mind if we have another baby
I misspoke myself in my one post about swatting the nurse...I did swat at her... AFTER she wouldn't quit touching me when I asked her. The swatting to get her hands off from me still wasn't enough of a hint until my DH swatted her hands away and said "She told you to stop!" She got the point after that.
we don't. For ex, one lady, 2nd baby, going natural like she had done the time before several years before. SHe said "oh i feel like i need to push" so the docs checked her and seh was 9. So i stayed by her bedside encouraging, she kept saying she needed to push, so i'd say "well, how about i check to see if it is time?" she said no. then a few mins later, she'd say "you dont have to check me do you?" and i said "not if you dont want to be checked"
Then she said she knew it wasn't time for the baby yet, b/c she could still stop the pushing feeling. She also said "im 10, i know im at 10" A short while after that, maybe 10 mins, hte clear fluid that had been coming out was really bloody, i got some gloves on quickly she screamed and the head came out. No vag exam necessary!
Thats right-there is actually no evidence that the second stage needs to be 'confirmed' by VE. Listen and look at what the woman is doing and you mostly don't need to do one. Patience and time and then you'll see a head.
I love doing the natural births. Sometimes they can be more work but not necessarily. There's less risk to mom and baby, mom tends to recover faster. There is so much you can do in between nothing and epidural.
Ok after delivering 2 in a hospital and having an aweful experience with the L&D nurses my first... and a much better with my 2nd (LOL one nurse was a little resistant but did good )
Anyways how open are you to 100% natural births?
I mean my DS was a natural birth but met with a lot of resistance from my L&D nurse. With my first my nurse was down right mean about me wanting a natural birth.
With my son my nurse was the "natural birth specialist" but yet she wasn't. Every fwe min was trying to do EFM with every contraction, told me no about everything I requested. (I wanted to push squatting on floor, she said no, lol i ignored her and just did it) She wanted me in bed.. lol OB didn't care he said hang upside down if I wanted.. it was only the nurse.
She and my midwife who was with me as a doula really butted heads. Told me no wash cloth on perineum while pushing (LOL i thought that felt great! no need for that thing washcloth on the forehead!). Kept wanting me to put on gown vs letting me run butt naked or wear my own clothes (skirt and bra).
With my first the nurse was down right aweful. Told me to "get a grip" working thru a very fast labor/transition (3hours) as a first time mom. Came in every 5-10 min asking me if I was ready for epidural yet...refused to give me IV meds when requested or zofran (lots of puking)
Is this the norm? How do all of you feel you fit in with natural births or do you not like them? Love them? Think they are more or less work? What are your thoughts on mothers with birthplans for natural births or wanting one? Anyone here never even seen a natural or drug/intervention free birth?
both times my postpartum nurses both times were fabulous.
I enjoy working with moms having natural birth, with the caveat that they are prepared for the process ("No, I didn't take classes but I watch A Baby Story every day doesn't cut it!). I much prefer working with patients who are active participants in their care. It does help if they are aware of the possibility that things can change rapidly and that interventions may become necessary at any time.
I do see a couple of issues in your posts that would be a problem though: First of all as others have said - Hitting, slapping, swatting the nurse is totally unacceptable under any circumstance - even more so from your husband! If you didn't want the babies heart rate checked during a contraction (which is standard of care for intermittent monitoring and probably also in the doctors standing orders) I would have documented your refusal and probably had you sign that you were refusing in order to cover myself legally in case of undetected FHR issues resulting in delivery of a baby needing resuscitation. Your statement about the nurse and the doula "butting heads" bothers me - your doula is supposed to be there as support for you - not dictating care to the nurse (even though the interventions you mentioned sound reasonable from what you say, it's just not appropriate). The naked thing doesn't bother me at all, though I did have a bit of discomfort with the family that did the "naked mommy daddy and baby bonding together in the bed" - it's nice to warn your nurse if you plan on that before she walks in on it.
While in some ways a natural birth can be "more work", it's definitely easier on my back than spending a couple of hours holding up numb heavy legs on someone with a dense epidural!
bagladyrn- Eww naked cuddling in bed... that's um different. Yah I think a warning sign would be nice.. lol your expecting see girlie parts all over not manly naked parts.
As for doula/RN butting heads.. that was why I hired doula. She knew my wishes for a hands off birth (as much as possible of course) so I wasn't having to fight and butt heads with nurse and I could focus on what I was doing (hypnobabies). I had a bad experience the first time and I didn't want a repeat. ETA: doula NEVER dictated care to nurse... just questioned things the nurse was saying we couldn't do because of silly reasoning. (Couldn't be in bathroom to labor in case of a code not everyone would fit, couldn't push washcloths with luke warm water on perineum because it would make me tear because of constriction of tissue... doula (who is and was our MW) would give her look and ask her why not?) The OB agreed the wash cloth thing made no sense.. and to go ahead and do it if I wanted.. and boy it felt good!
I agree swatting etc isn't necessary. My DH only swatted at (think like when mosquito is around shooing it away.. ) but he did that because despite me saying no.. wait a minute.. no please give me a minute. I told you no... stop. She wouldn't back off. I was trying to get her away and then dh who I was leaning on shooed her off and gave her a firm... "she told you stop".
IMO I see nurse not backing off when I said no ... no different than someone else tyring to touch me when I said stop. She didn't stop so I defended myself. There was nothing going on that she NEEDED to listen at that exact moment. I wasn't refusing her to listen, I just wanted a minute. (I prefered to have her start listening in between contractions so I could adjust mentally to idea of her being there thru the contraction until it was over.. just me.) And it only happened that one contraction.
LOL i think no matter what I'm gonna look like the ***** who swatted at her nurse in labor.
And I don't want to paint my nurse like she was aweful. Granted the whole time I was in labor I hated her (she came on shift to me being at 9cm forever! and was trying to labor down a baby with 2 nuchal hands). She really was a super sweet woman. And was great about our birth plan. She reminded everyone in the room right before he was born to not announce gender, reminded OB to wait on clamping cord. She really was awesome with following our wishes post birth. (we just didn't see eye to eye for a few moments... then we were on the same page after we talked about it.)
While in some ways a natural birth can be "more work", it's definitely easier on my back than spending a couple of hours holding up numb heavy legs on someone with a dense epidural!
I'm intereseted in the thought that normal birth is more work. To me the epidural/oxytocin infusion/ CEFM etc is far more work than being with a woman and encouraging her to do what her body is meant to do. Watching and waiting ain't hard work.:redpinkhe
bagladyrn- Eww naked cuddling in bed... that's um different. Yah I think a warning sign would be nice.. lol your expecting see girlie parts all over not manly naked parts.
As for doula/RN butting heads.. that was why I hired doula. She knew my wishes for a hands off birth (as much as possible of course) so I wasn't having to fight and butt heads with nurse and I could focus on what I was doing (hypnobabies). I had a bad experience the first time and I didn't want a repeat. ETA: doula NEVER dictated care to nurse... just questioned things the nurse was saying we couldn't do because of silly reasoning. (Couldn't be in bathroom to labor in case of a code not everyone would fit, couldn't push washcloths with luke warm water on perineum because it would make me tear because of constriction of tissue... doula (who is and was our MW) would give her look and ask her why not?) The OB agreed the wash cloth thing made no sense.. and to go ahead and do it if I wanted.. and boy it felt good!
I agree swatting etc isn't necessary. My DH only swatted at (think like when mosquito is around shooing it away.. ) but he did that because despite me saying no.. wait a minute.. no please give me a minute. I told you no... stop. She wouldn't back off. I was trying to get her away and then dh who I was leaning on shooed her off and gave her a firm... "she told you stop".
IMO I see nurse not backing off when I said no ... no different than someone else tyring to touch me when I said stop. She didn't stop so I defended myself. There was nothing going on that she NEEDED to listen at that exact moment. I wasn't refusing her to listen, I just wanted a minute. (I prefered to have her start listening in between contractions so I could adjust mentally to idea of her being there thru the contraction until it was over.. just me.) And it only happened that one contraction.
LOL i think no matter what I'm gonna look like the ***** who swatted at her nurse in labor.
And I don't want to paint my nurse like she was aweful. Granted the whole time I was in labor I hated her (she came on shift to me being at 9cm forever! and was trying to labor down a baby with 2 nuchal hands). She really was a super sweet woman. And was great about our birth plan. She reminded everyone in the room right before he was born to not announce gender, reminded OB to wait on clamping cord. She really was awesome with following our wishes post birth. (we just didn't see eye to eye for a few moments... then we were on the same page after we talked about it.)
I have to add here that I would have insisted on you not laboring in the bathroom if you are referring to sitting on the commode as fishing a newborn out of the toilet water is NEVER a good thing - usually involving me on my knees in a confined space, yelling for assistance and sometimes gloveless (since hearing that "It's coming" when mom is on the toilet, I don't stop for anything!). As an aside that hospitals who put locks on the bathroom doors in labor rooms are really stupid! What I offer to women who are more comfortable sitting on the commode is to bring a bedside commode into the room so she can be in the comfortable position while still out where I can work with her.
I can see where it must have been rough for you to have a new nurse come in when you were 9 cms and in transition - hardly a time to build up rapport!
IMO I see nurse not backing off when I said no ... no different than someone else tyring to touch me when I said stop. She didn't stop so I defended myself. There was nothing going on that she NEEDED to listen at that exact moment. I wasn't refusing her to listen, I just wanted a minute. (I prefered to have her start listening in between contractions so I could adjust mentally to idea of her being there thru the contraction until it was over.. just me.) And it only happened that one contraction.
LOL i think no matter what I'm gonna look like the ***** who swatted at her nurse in labor.
No--you don't look like the ***** who swatted at her nurse...LOL. Your nurse should've respected you and backed off. It's pretty sad when nurses get so wrapped up in tasks/interventions (and, unfortunately charting to CYA) that they forget their patient is *gasp* an actual human.
I have to add here that I would have insisted on you not laboring in the bathroom if you are referring to sitting on the commode as fishing a newborn out of the toilet water is NEVER a good thing - usually involving me on my knees in a confined space, yelling for assistance and sometimes gloveless (since hearing that "It's coming" when mom is on the toilet, I don't stop for anything!). As an aside that hospitals who put locks on the bathroom doors in labor rooms are really stupid! What I offer to women who are more comfortable sitting on the commode is to bring a bedside commode into the room so she can be in the comfortable position while still out where I can work with her.
I can see where it must have been rough for you to have a new nurse come in when you were 9 cms and in transition - hardly a time to build up rapport!
The confined private space of a bathroom is the perfect place for a labouring woman! May not be so convenient for the attendant, but it is easy to think outside the square and work around it. I frequently 'recommend' women sit and labour on the toilet( and deliver there if they wish) and in many years of midwifery I have never had to fish a kid out of the water. Plus it's real easy to pop a pair of gloves in your pocket!:heartbeat
No--you don't look like the ***** who swatted at her nurse...LOL. Your nurse should've respected you and backed off. It's pretty sad when nurses get so wrapped up in tasks/interventions (and, unfortunately charting to CYA) that they forget their patient is *gasp* an actual human.
Yep its easy to see how women get so peeved off with all the poking and prodding that they do feel the need to lash out! Labouring women who do this aren't doing it on purpose they are getting frustrated with the situation and need support, not bossing around; and more poking and prodding!
The confined private space of a bathroom is the perfect place for a labouring woman! May not be so convenient for the attendant, but it is easy to think outside the square and work around it. I frequently 'recommend' women sit and labour on the toilet( and deliver there if they wish) and in many years of midwifery I have never had to fish a kid out of the water. Plus it's real easy to pop a pair of gloves in your pocket!:heartbeat
They must put bigger bathrooms in Australian hospitals - or maybe skinnier nurses! I've been in ones where if I squat down in front of the patient on the commode, my heels are against the far wall (sink is outside in the room)
They must put bigger bathrooms in Australian hospitals - or maybe skinnier nurses! I've been in ones where if I squat down in front of the patient on the commode, my heels are against the far wall (sink is outside in the room)
ooh yes that is tiny. This bathroom was quite large. I was on toilet laboring, DH was in front of me on ball. 2 more people could easily fit in the room. There was a shower and sink in there. I didn't want to deliver on the toilet I just didn't want her to have direct access to me at a whim. So if she wanted to do FHT they would wait for contraction to be over before DH and doula moved out of the way. Then she could come in.. do them, or I'd go out to main room do them and go back.
Laboring on the toilet tho was far more comfortable than everything else we tried... there was also much nicer to be able to be in a quiet space where I could in essence hide from people I didn't necessarily want to see. (which was just about everyone...)
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MIcrunchyRN
161 Posts
Where are you at?! LOL i'll have to keep you in mind if we have another baby
I misspoke myself in my one post about swatting the nurse...I did swat at her... AFTER she wouldn't quit touching me when I asked her. The swatting to get her hands off from me still wasn't enough of a hint until my DH swatted her hands away and said "She told you to stop!" She got the point after that.