Just promoted, but coworkers are mean!

[nursechick182]

I just recently started to work for a small hospital, and I came from a much bigger hospital. The unit I am with is currently trying to expand and improve things, so I was quickly promoted to a management position to try to help the unit grow. The unit has the biggest gossip/rumor mill/coworker bashing I have ever witnessed, and some are including me in all this, and I think they might be trying to bully me into leaving because I have already made some changes on the unit. I am younger than most of my coworkers, but I know that I can make a difference for the better because I came from a really solid hospital. I am trying to stick it through, but it's tough! I feel like I have no friends and if I talk too much, then rumors will start. If I don't talk to them, they all say that I am quiet and stuck up. I feel like I can't win. How can I deal with difficult people that don't respect me when I am in charge of them?

[zima60]

I just read the description of your working conditions and it sounds exactly like the scenario I left. You need to leave. You need to take care of yourself first or you can't help anyone else. I stuck it out for 6 months in a horrible ED as 3-11 supervisor before I left. Thirty years of nursing and I had never quit anything until last year. I am now very happily the nurse manager of a hospice unit. I agree with the other posts-you can't be friends. It is very difficult to go from co-worker to manager. Find another place to manage. Good luck!

[nursechick182, BSN, RN]

I quit! Turns out, the hospital is not very good, and I was absolutely tired of dealing with all the negativity and no support from the upper management. I got a new job that I am really excited about, NOT managing anyone. I don't think the management route is right for me. I have too much stress in my life to deal with everyone else's problems. So I am really happy now. Thanks for the all the advice!

[pussycat66]

I quit! Turns out, the hospital is not very good, and I was absolutely tired of dealing with all the negativity and no support from the upper management. I got a new job that I am really excited about, NOT managing anyone. I don't think the management route is right for me. I have too much stress in my life to deal with everyone else's problems. So I am really happy now. Thanks for the all the advice!

i'm happy for you, how did you get another job? how did you decide what to go for? GOOD LUCK! :redpinkhe

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

consider giving them more responsibility, such as self-scheduling. Put up a brag poster in the break room - then post accomplishments by teams or by individuals. This could be work related or not. Some are probably in school - why not post their picture with a little bio explaining how they are progressing professionally? Same with clinical ladder and committee members - focus on the staff's contributions. Always be fair and do not expect friendship. Just won't happen. But that does not mean people cannot be friendly. If you identify some troublemakers deal with them individually. Include HR when you must.

Just be sure that people want their photo and personal info posted. I would not.

You are not their friend, you're their boss. I know you feel lonely. Well, it's lonely at the top.

Do deal with particularly pesky individual workers. Lay down the law to them. Invoke whatever policies you must in order to tame them or get rid of them, even if they're good nurses or aides, even if they were there before the place was built.

Do try to let them self-staff or otherwise be involved in the mechanics of the ward. Get their views and ideas, do value them. But don't let them run over you.

Don't lump them all in as enemies. Aren't there some nice staff?

I wish you well. HR is probably your friend. Not theirs. Yours. Probably. At least, HR can tell you how to use the policies and show you the mechanics of disciplinary actions.

Call each staff member, individually, into your office and find out what their thoughts are on various unit issues - staffing, new admits, assignments, etc. Try to learn what their problems are and what they like about their jobs. Let them know you need their cooperation and do NOT stab them in the back if they are honest with you. Care about them as people.

Be there on 3-11 and 11-7, on weekends and holidays once in a while. Bring some food but also observe and see what's going on after hours.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

I appreciate everyone's thoughts and advice. Things have gone from bad to worse. I'm not the manager, more like an assistant nurse manager. I've never in my life worked with so many departments within my pod that complain nonstop and are so far gone from teamwork, it's ridiculous. I ask people to do things, and they complain that they are in the middle of other things and then walk off. There are numerous safety issues too...to the point where I can't even do my charge duties because I can't leave a sick patient since I'm the only nurse there qualified to take that acuity of patient. My unit isn't equipped or staffed to handle when things get bad, so patients end up getting transported. I came from a place where things were so organized and teamwork was amazing. If there was a sick patient, everyone rearranged and worked to do whatever they could to help you. The nurses at my current hospital do not understand that. They've never had to do it. I stayed 3 hours after my shift was over to help the oncoming shift because it was chaos...never had lunch or dinner! When I got home, I wanted to throw up and started crying! I don't know if I can stay and suffer long enough to try to make things better! It's just sad. There is no way I would ever want one of my family members being taken care of in this hospital! Maybe I should just leave! I'm just trying so hard to not be a "quitter" and not let stupid people keep me from doing what's right. But it's hard to always be the ONLY one right all the time.

There is a lot going on on that job, much more than you've been able to share probably. No way anyone can really advise you without knowing all the players and facts, I guess. I do know that you can't let people just walk away from when you are speaking to them or let them refuse to do things when you tell them to, which, by the way, is not the same as asking them to do things. Don't be a dictator but you need to let them know that "I'm speaking to you. Don't walk away when I'm speaking to you. And I need you to do ___ now." They need to see you as the boss.

It sounds like you didn't realize what you were getting into. Did you? Did you have any idea it was such an unsafe place?

You say they're "stupid" and that you're always right. Can you elaborate on these statements a bit? Sometimes quitting is what's needed. You probably need to talk things over frankly with whoever hired you and the two of you develop a strategy to end the chaos and bring safety and teamwork back to this place. Also, figure out if the pay is worth the headaches. If not, give your notice and move on.