Just promoted, but coworkers are mean!

rebelgirl#1 · Jul 29, 2008

Hello,

I came from an environment where the supervisor tried to be the friend, never took any actions to clean up the environment and make it a better place. Hold your ground, reward positive and keep making changes. People will argue and buck because they got rewarded for negative behavior in the past.

Mijourney · Jul 29, 2008

Nursechick182, what you describe does sound very treacherous. But, keep in mind you're not working to make friends. Your job, in my opinion, is not a social club. You're working to make a difference on that unit as you pointed out. You will gain more respect if you maintain a neutral position with everyone. If they start bringing gossip and hearsay to you, allow them to vent but do not offer opinions, just put the onus back on them. Sounds like you will need to establish some ground rules for your unit and share them with the group. Let them know your door is open, but you expect them to offer solutions to problems that may be real or imagined. Be honest with your employees regarding any changes that you or those above you may implement. I hope that you will be able to stick this situation out because I think it will strengthen you as a leader. Best wishes.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 30, 2008

Good luck to you. I'll move this to the management portion of the forums and see if you can get some good advice there.

RN1989 · Jul 31, 2008

You are a threat to them. Things were fine till you came in from the outside with the need to "fix" things and they didn't think anything was broken. Basically they are taking it as a personal attack on themselves that they aren't doing a good job.

From your post, you also sound like you are still in the staff nurse mind set of wanting to be their friend and colleague. You aren't - you're the boss. You are no longer the person to go out and have drinks with. You aren't the person to sit and chitchat at lunch. You have to maintain a friendly attitude while separating yourself from them. It is too hard to do your job if you are too emotionally attached to being friends with them. Being friends with the staff also generates hard feelings and gossip regarding favoritism. Best to become friends with the other managers in the facility or keep friendship out of work altogether. Schedule a time to eat lunch with other managers and the admin.

Have you taken any supervisory classes? If not, I highly recommend it. With your young age, it is even more imperative that you maintain your professionalism and be able to deal with this crap in an appropriate and constructive manner - speaking from experience having been a nurse at an extremely young age. Fortunately my first employer saw fit to send me to management classes. Enroll for some CE classes on being a supervisor. It will go a long way in helping you.

Don't take things so personally. You are the boss. You must put on your armor every morning before you walk in the door. Remember - when people are upset and feel helpless - the boss is the first person that they are going to blame. Everytime. It is the nature of people. Think about how many times you have complained about things at your old job that a manager or admin did......Now you're "one of them".

You will never please everyone. Stop trying. Do your job. Who cares if they like you - this isn't a bathing suit competition. You are trying to make improvements to keep both patients and staff safe. Nobody likes the person that does that. You will be getting hit from both sides soon - just wait till admin comes after you because you are too much of a patient/staff advocate and it is costing them money. This is just the beginning. Stay strong and good luck.

sweetmagnolia1439 · Aug 10, 2008

as a nursing supervisor, i couldn't agree more with the advice that nurse1989 gave you. you are not their friend (anymore), you are the 'boss' and they know it. they will try and stab you in the back every chance they get. realize now, they were not your friends in the first place....they were merely your co-workers. i know this as i have walked in your shoes, so to speak. in other words, i've been there, done that, bought the t shirt and worn it out:) listen, keep your eyes and ears open, but you decide what is best for your unit and make the changes necessary to make things better. i wish you all the luck in the world....i know what you're going thru isn't easy, but also know that you can make a difference if you're determined and strong enough to just "do the right thing" when it comes to patient care! best of luck to you....always!!

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Aug 11, 2008

consider giving them more responsibility, such as self-scheduling. Put up a brag poster in the break room - then post accomplishments by teams or by individuals. This could be work related or not. Some are probably in school - why not post their picture with a little bio explaining how they are progressing professionally? Same with clinical ladder and committee members - focus on the staff's contributions. Always be fair and do not expect friendship. Just won't happen. But that does not mean people cannot be friendly. If you identify some troublemakers deal with them individually. Include HR when you must.

kbettencourt · Aug 26, 2008

I just recently started to work for a small hospital, and I came from a much bigger hospital. The unit I am with is currently trying to expand and improve things, so I was quickly promoted to a management position to try to help the unit grow. The unit has the biggest gossip/rumor mill/coworker bashing I have ever witnessed, and some are including me in all this, and I think they might be trying to bully me into leaving because I have already made some changes on the unit. I am younger than most of my coworkers, but I know that I can make a difference for the better because I came from a really solid hospital. I am trying to stick it through, but it's tough! I feel like I have no friends and if I talk too much, then rumors will start. If I don't talk to them, they all say that I am quiet and stuck up. I feel like I can't win. How can I deal with difficult people that don't respect me when I am in charge of them?

Been in Management for 1 year now, and I hear what your saying. Just hang in there, was good friends with one of my Co-workers, she was the one that gave me the hardest time, infact she had quite a few other co-workers going against me. the first 8 months was horrible. She finally left and things are better. No one is your friend when you the manager. Stick with it.:)

nursechick182, BSN, RN · Aug 30, 2008

I appreciate everyone's thoughts and advice. Things have gone from bad to worse. I'm not the manager, more like an assistant nurse manager. I've never in my life worked with so many departments within my pod that complain nonstop and are so far gone from teamwork, it's ridiculous. I ask people to do things, and they complain that they are in the middle of other things and then walk off. There are numerous safety issues too...to the point where I can't even do my charge duties because I can't leave a sick patient since I'm the only nurse there qualified to take that acuity of patient. My unit isn't equipped or staffed to handle when things get bad, so patients end up getting transported. I came from a place where things were so organized and teamwork was amazing. If there was a sick patient, everyone rearranged and worked to do whatever they could to help you. The nurses at my current hospital do not understand that. They've never had to do it. I stayed 3 hours after my shift was over to help the oncoming shift because it was chaos...never had lunch or dinner! When I got home, I wanted to throw up and started crying! I don't know if I can stay and suffer long enough to try to make things better! It's just sad. There is no way I would ever want one of my family members being taken care of in this hospital! Maybe I should just leave! I'm just trying so hard to not be a "quitter" and not let stupid people keep me from doing what's right. But it's hard to always be the ONLY one right all the time.

RN1989 · Aug 30, 2008

If you leave because of the staff.....well, you know the grass isn't always greener.

But, if it looks like the facility is unwilling to assist you to make the changes needed for safe, competent care.....chances are you will never/be allowed to make the difference that they promoted you for to start with.

When it comes to safety and the environment that the admin sets....it generally is not worth it to keep banging your head on the wall. Now you understand why so many people refuse positions of authority.

fFor future reference: Do not tell them why you are leaving. Granted, it feels better to do so. But they will be more likely to give you a bad reference if you resign and tell them that the care sucks and they aren't interested in fixing it. Just thank them for the opportunity, say you are leaving and when, then leave without further comment.

Butterfly62 · Sep 18, 2008

I can personally relate to your problem as I am going through the same thing. You won't be able to get this to work without consensus from the staff. Meaning, you're going to need 'buy in' from them. To accomplish this, you're going to need frequent staff meetings to get everyone together. Let them know your goals: what you're trying to accomplish. Let them know your ground rules: you expect them to be efficient, timely, and competent. There is no tolerance for unprofessional behavior, such as gossiping, undermining, and disrespect. Let them know that they are an integral part of the team: they have worked here longer, they are in tune with what has happened in the past, as well as seen what has/has not worked in the past. Let them know that the changes you're trying to make are geered toward efficiency, patient safety, and process improvement only and that these changes, although tough at first require team involvement, team input, and support from your staff. Secondly, you need to make sure management supports these ideas and will back you up when needed. Management needs to also inform your staff that they support you and your decisions and that they would appreciate the staff 'buy in.' It's like this: you're all on a bus going in the same direction. If someone is not going in that direction, then they need to get off the bus. It's your bus! Hang tough, address issues one on one, hold frequent meetings to keep staff informed, and email/call peers that can help and support you. Best of everything. Don't give up. YOU CAN DO THIS! I can tell by your emails that you have what it takes!!!! :bow:

kbettencourt · Sep 24, 2008

Thanks for your good advice. take care.