i thought i'd share my story of ups and downs with nclex. i graduated from a bsn program in 12/2010. this was a 1 year accelerated program so it was extremely intense. we had to learn so much information in such a short time so it was very difficult to learn everything thoroughly. once i graduated, i was so drained and had no energy or motivation to start studying for the nclex so stupidly i put it off. well, then i get a call in january for an interview from the one hospital i had always dreamed of working at. i couldn't believe it...this is the #1 children's hospital in the nation and they receive over a 1000 applications for new graduate job listings. i was beyond thrilled. the interview went well despite the fact that it was a 7 panel interview...which i had never experienced but i didn't let my nerves get the best of me and just made sure to be myself. i get a call the next day and they wanted to offer me the position. i was literally jumping for joy. but then hr drops a bombshell on me. they asked if i had passed the nclex...which i hadn't. i wasn't even planning on taking it for a couple of months so i hadn't studied at all. well, they said i have to have my license prior to the start date which was only 5 days away! so i was able to schedule a test date in time...thank god. with only 5 days to study i was panicked. i registered for the kaplan online review and in those 5 days i watched every video, answered every question trainer, and basically completed everything you're required to complete to receive a refund. how did i complete all that in such a short amount time?? i literally studied for 12-15 hours a day....i know, worst thing i could've done. i was sleep deprived, wasn't eating well, and i didn't sleep the night before the exam. consequently, it was a no brainer that i failed.
with the second attempt....i approached it thinking it'll be different because i won't have the added pressure of a job on the line and that surely i'll pass this time. i'll be honest and say...i didn't study much at all before the exam because i had done so well in school i thought i got this! of course i was wrong....failed again. it's embarrassing to admit, but i failed both times at 75 questions. on my results report, i was either near passing or below passing and not above passing on any section. that really bruised my pride and confidence to no end. after that, i became so depressed...all i wanted to do was sleep everyday.
one day i happened to come across a job posting at the same hospital so i applied again, got the interview, was offered the job, and was starting to feel a little bit better. but my depression had gotten so bad i couldn't motivate myself to study, even though i knew i had been so lucky to be handed a great opportunity...again! i had about 3 months to prepare this time but i just kept putting it off thinking i had plenty of time. well, time flew by and i had only 1 week left to study so i started to cram and inevitably felt completely overwhelmed. i just made sure i knew all lab values, transmission precautions, and tried to practice prioritization questions. so i took the nclex this past tuesday the 12th and got 261 questions. at first i knew i was doing pretty well because i was getting a lot of sata questions. but by the time i was at question 180ish...i was mentally drained. i couldn't even understand what the question was asking me anymore and had to read it about 10 times. also, at this point...none of the answers seemed right. i was so exhausted that i partially gave up. i tried my best but i just couldn't take it anymore. so i went home and did the pearsonvue trick....and yup...failed.
so, how do i feel now? honestly, several weeks before the test i thought if i fail again i will be so devastated that i didn't know what i was going to do. a couple of days before the test i was really reaching out to god for help; praying for confidence. surprisingly, i didn't feel so bad after i found out i failed. don't get me wrong, i cried my eyes out that night. so i'll share with you what has helped me to feel better and not give up. for those of you who are christians....and even if you're not....i came across this song that has helped me tremendously. it's amazing how god brings things into your life just at the right time. the name of the song is "walk on the water" by britt nicole. this song is so encouraging and it really helped me to not lose faith. hope this song helps others too....especially if you're feeling discouraged and feel like giving up :)
