Just accepted in Nursing school and I'm worried

[Ablie1]

Hello all,

I'm very new to this site and I hope I'm posting in the right section.

I just got accepted into a very competitive nursing school and I start in January. I'm a single mother of two boys, ages 11 and 14, and I'll be 37 soon. I currently work full time in an unrelated field.

Our nursing school orientation was last night, and since then, I've been really worried about some things. I almost feel like this is going to be impossible for me. First of all, I don't have a choice in working full time. I have to support my kids and myself, and I barely scrape by as it is. I was told that going to school at night and working more than 20 hours is a kiss of death.

Secondly, my boys have been making things very difficult for me. I waited to go back to school until I thought they were old enough, but it seems that each night at my house, there is some sort of conflict between them and myself. They have become increasingly sneaky, disobedient, aggressive, and rude towards me and each other.

I feel that in the best of circumstances, it would be hard to make it through nursing school, but I have less than optimum circumstances and very little support.

There is nothing else I'd rather do other than nursing, and I feel this is my calling. I've wanted to be a nurse since I was 15 and started volunteering in the hospitals. But I'm afraid that I won't have the energy to keep going when it seems that everything is stacked against me right now.

I don't think anyone else would understand how my joy at being accepted has now turned to anxiety about being unable to finish. The whole thing really has me feeling sort of down...

Would appreciate any advice anyone may have.

Thank you

[lifelearningrn, BSN, RN]

I don't have any advice.. just {{{{hugs!}}}}

[Ablie1]

Thank you very much! I could use that too! :)

[Staragate, ADN, ASN, RN]

I have teenage boys too. Luckily, we get along and are semi-independant. You need to have a heart to heart with them. Explain why you are going into nursing and how that will affect their lives both during school and when you are working. Tow the line that they need to shape up or they are going to have serious consequences. If you threaten to do something, follow through and DO IT! Even if that means throwing away the Wii. If they have a conflict, set ground rules for working it out. No shouting, throwing or storming out. Give them time to cool off when they get mad and then talk out the issue. It's ok if they are mad at you if they don't like your decisions, you are their mom.

Also, have a reliable friend to count on for them to go to while you aren't available. A male role model is best. Have this friend check in on them as often as possible. Good luck!

[peacelover]

First, just let me send you some positive energy to wrap around yourself. Anxiety is not your friend in this situation. I know this feels like a huge mountain to climb and when you are in the middle of it, well it is quite hard to see your way to the other side. You can do this!

I was in this place 20 years ago. I quit because I could not see any way possible for me to take care of the kids and me too all the while attending school and work 60 hours a week. I promised myself when I quit that I would go back and so now I am-anyway, I will not bore you with the details only what I learned from it.

I start my program in January too and let me tell you Being 43 I am dealing with a whole new set of challenges. They are pretty similar to those I had being a single mom they just come wrapped in a different package. Nursing school is hard-period however; you can make this work if you really want it.

A few ideas:

Talk to them and let them know that you really need their help, tell them how much you are counting on them. Start now, give them small chores and praise them to know end when they are done.

Set aside some time every day for them and use a calendar to plan it. Use a kitchen timer~ “mommy needs to study for 30 minutes and then we will wrestle/take a walk/watch tv(Whatever). I need your help to make sure I don’t go over so someone come get me when the timer goes off’-kids love to help us:D

Make a huge calendar for them, treat them to something every time they make it through the week with few bad marks for treating each other poorly.

Involve them when you can in your studies, make up songs to remember school things and get them to help you sing them.

I have a friend who tells her boys (she has 5)if it is not broken or bleeding then settle between yourselves. You would be surprised how much fighting this cuts down on because some of that it just attention seeking behavior

Find the other single moms in your program and have study time together or swap watching each others kids.

Looking back, I made the best choice I could have made at the time and man oh man

I wish someone had told me not to give up or told me how it WAS possible to finish and keep my sanity in tact and have well adjusted kids

20 years in the corporate world dreaming about nursing is NOT something you want to go through.….which would be worse? Sacrificing for the next couple of years or the next 10?

I know it seems impossible. It is totally possible. Don’t give up!

Sending you good vibes-

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

I think everyone tells students that working isn't possible. But when there's not another option, it's very possible. I'm half way through my first semester, work 40 hours a week and have three kids at home. I'm fortunate that my husband is home with the kids and he really picks up the slack with cooking and cleaning and all. It's tough not seeing the kids as much as I would like, and they say I'm always studying or not home. BUT, I know that this is the best thing for everyone. I made up my mind before I even started, though, that even if it was awful, I could put up with anything for four semesters. If it's what you want, just work for it, you'll be fine. Good luck.

[vampymegs]

I don't have boys and my kids aren't beyond single digit ages ... but from what I know of teenagers ... they all get sneaky around that age ... and hormones flair and tension does happen. I don't know the degree at which your kids are escalating their arguments but sometimes these spats just happen. I think it may really depend on what it is that they are hiding or sneaking ...

as for your other point of having the energy to do it ... if it's something that you really have a calling for and feel that you are meant to do ... you will find the energy with which to do it ... trust me ... it will be tiring BUT it's just as exciting to learn all these new things and just as rewarding to help all of these people, not to mention the new connections you'll make along the way AND the new things you'll learn about yourself ...

if you believe you are ready ... just simply ready to get into nursing ... then I say go for it (expect bags under those eyes and wear them as badges of honor!!!)

[TXJP]

Hey guys, I'm the original poster but for some reason I absolutely could not log back in (I forgot my password and my repeated attempts to reset the password didn't work!). ugh...Anyway, you all have given many good things to consider and I do so appreciate it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! And my best to all of you!

[fearless89]

First step: Take a deep breath!

I remember being in a similar position. Granted, I'm only 21, but at 18, I was forced to move out on my own (no dorms for me!), and be financially independent due to family issues. I refused to give up on a competitive BSN program I had my heart set on, even though at orientation, they said to kiss working through school goodbye. I've worked 40 hours through the entire program so far (halfway done!), and I have to say, I'm glad I've done it. I think you appreciate your time more, and become insanely good at time management (a skill you'll need to have as a nurse!). Now, I have to say, I am not a single mother, and admire you for that, because that is a whole different stressor, but please remember you can do this, and you deserve the happiness of achieving your goals!

[Angitia]

You can't back out! You're in, you're 37, you have to finish the program and you will.

It is doable. Just set your mind on completing the program.

[TXJP]

Wow, reading back over this...I feel so much better! Thank you all so much!

[RPN_2012]

I'm in the middle of semester 1 righ now, and I remember how a few days before school started in sept, I was freaking out and asking myself if I can really do it... and I don't have kids and a full time job! Wow, my "hat" off to all you people who go through NS and have kids, and work a lot!

What ever you do don't give up on your dream of being a nurse!!! I have no idea how all the people who have full-time jobs, kids, are single parents, etc... can do it, but they do, and so can you! Don't give up!

Try and find out if there is any possibility to get some financial help, loans, bursaries, anything will help!

When you get all stressed out, freaking out etc. during your studies, never loose the image of the end result: You graduating and being so, so proud of yourself, and your kids will be proud of you too! Never let go of that image, and everytime you have negative feeling or anything, always remind yourself why you're doing this, and keep thinking about the graduation, about getting the letter after passing boards, jumping up and down and tears of joy, anything possitive really... I use the possitive imagery thechniques all the time, it helps a lot!

And take a few minutes for yourself, every day, it's extremelly important to keep your sanity!

There will come a day when you'll be looking back on this and you'll be amaized you actually did it!

Sending lots of hugs and some good vibes! Good luck, and don't give up! :)