It was a sad sad night

[Heather333]

I lost my first little one last night. It was much harder than I thought is was going to be. I have been his primary nurse since he was born and gotten to know mommy really well. It really hasn't quite hit me yet because the night was just total chaos.

How do ya'll deal with the death of a baby? I've been there with adults, but a baby is so much harder.

Heather:sniff:

[Heather333]

Originally posted by KRVRN

Heather333

The poor little thing was dead from sepsis and DIC.......

And for sure don't let one bad night deter you from being a NICU nurse.

That is exactly what happened to this little one. Doing really well, then all of a sudden here comes the overwhelming sepsis and DIC.

This experience definintely will not change my love for the NICU. It just makes for one really difficult experience. But I figure if I can learn from this and maybe help someone else, then it was all worth while.

Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragement.

Heather

[Jolie, BSN]

I'm so sorry. Years from now, your NICU successes will fade from memory, but the babies you have lost will remain vivid. I truly believe that these precious souls are just too tiny and fragile for us to heal. Only God in Heaven can make them well and whole. It seems like there is so little you can do, but that is not so. Your caring and compassion for the parents will sustain them in the worst time of their lives, and will never be forgotten. I have never lost a child of my own, but I did experience the loss of a desperately wanted pregnancy. The care of my wonderful doctor and the nursing staff made all the difference in the world to me.

Allow yourself to grieve. If possible, spend a few days caring for stable growers and feeders and do a discharge or two. Sometimes it helps to remind ourselves that we do, indeed, make it possible for countless families to welcome home healthy babies.

God bless.

[kittyw]

(((((Heather)))))

I don't work with babies, but having a son ... I just couldn't imagine. Take some time to grieve, learn, & grow from this experience. Hugs to you. Kitty

[delirium]

Heather,

I don't have any words of wisdom to add, just wanted you to know that I'm sending you a cyberhug and positive energy....

(((((((((((Heather))))))))))))

You are a special person to do what you do.

[NicuGal, MSN, RN]

It is hard to lose a baby you have cared for since they were born. The big kids bother me way more than the itsy bitsy ones..I know that sounds harsh, but sometimes they just weren't meant to be and you have to think about 10 years from now what this little one would turn out like. We get alot of long term gut kids and those are the ones that really get me!

[dawngloves, BSN, RN]

Originally posted by NicuGal

It is hard to lose a baby you have cared for since they were born. The big kids bother me way more than the itsy bitsy ones..

ITA! The big ole' fetal asphixias really get me and I think that's why the docs code them a little too long.