Well, in a very anticlimactic finish, I have completed my 3 years in TPAPN. It is funny how I have dedicated 3 years of my life to checking in and being paranoid, for it just to come to an end like that. It doesn't feel real. Tomorrow I don't have to check in. I bet I still wake up at 4am on the nose and think about it though. I believe I will carry the paranoia with me for a little bit while I adjust to being a normal citizen.
Honestly, 3 years ago was the lowest point in my life. Drunk, fired, ashamed, marriage on the rocks, passively suicidal, nothing to be proud of. It is amazing that we have chances to turn our lives around and come back from what was complete hell. As much as I despised TPAPN, it played a major role in saving my life. Is the program fair? Nope. But, when compared to the alternative for me, it was the best there was.
Because my paranoia is so raw, I won't share a lot about how my whole stint in TPAPN went here, but if you are new, scared, confused, or have questions please feel free to PM me and I can give you all the support you need.
I am not sure if being an advocate is up my ally or not. I have a lot of bad tastes in my mouth from TPAPN. There needs to be real change and I hope it happens.
I want to say thank you to everyone here on these boards who offered advice and encouragement along the way. This site helped so much and I am so grateful it was here for me.
If you're new, keep your head up, keep pushing forward. There is an end.
