New member, longtime reader. I don't know what is wrong with me. I have had 3 positions in the last year since I graduated and all of them start off great and end up with me leaving over personality issues! I am 41 years old and nursing is a second career for me. I started right out of school in the ICU. I didn't want this, but the manager wanted me very badly and told me not to worry, I'd do fine. I did really well in school and I think that influenced her a lot
When I got to the floor, I realized I was in way over my head, acuity-wise. My preceptor was great, but many of the long time ICU nurses felt that newbies should not start out in ICU (I agree) and were less than helpful to say the least. The unit had hired about 6 new grads. Certain nurses reported every little thing we did or did not do. ICU was not not for me anyway as I enjoy talking to my patients.
So after about 4 weeks, I transfer to MedSurg and all is going great for about 4 weeks with my preceptor who, though much younger than me, was terrific. She then decides to leave for the CCU. I am put with another preceptor (very old school), who is a great nurse, but fairly condescending when she taught. I just could not deal with her style and did speak up for myself, as so many nurses on this website tell us to do. Well, of course that did not make things any better and I lasted for about another 2 weeks. I felt that I might be terminated due to getting a bad evaluation, so I resigned.
Now I have been at another hospital for 3 months and seem to be having similar issues. My preceptor was great and all was good until I got off of orientation (days) and put on nights without a resource person to go to. At my 90 day evaluation with my manager, I get told that I have great skills, am wonderful with the patients, but ask too many questions, and generally talk too much and don't listen well. She never spoke to my preceptor or any of the other nurses that I worked with for 6 weeks. Nor did she ever mention any concerns to me during this time. My preceptor's written evaluation regarding my nursing and communication skills with co-workers and doctors was graded as "meets all standards" and many great comments, yet my manager stated that she was very concerned about these issues that had been brought up after I was on my own
If this is my personality, what can I do to improve the way I am perceived? How can I change? I don't want to blame others for my failings. I feel horrible. Any suggestions, candid as they might be, would be appreciated.
