Is it OK to connect with a deceased patient's son?

Dear Nurse Beth Advice Column - The following letter submitted anonymously in search for answers. Join the conversation!

Published  

My sister was a CNA and now works for a hospice doing marketing. A patients 54 year old son reached out (personally speaking) after his mother passed. My sister is worried she may be fired after a friend working for the company said it's an ethical issue and she needs to cut things off immediately. Side note: they have not gone on a date just spoke on the phone. Does this raise ethical concerns? 

Share this post


Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.

Yes, this could raise ethical concerns, especially since she works in hospice marketing, which involves building professional relationships with patients and families. Even though she wasn't directly involved in the patient's care, forming a personal relationship with a grieving family member shortly after the patient's death could be seen as inappropriate or exploitative by her employer.

Key Considerations

  • Company policy. Many hospice organizations have strict policies about relationships with former patients' families, especially while grief is still fresh. She should check her employee handbook or consult HR anonymously if possible.
  • Perception of exploitation. Even if her intentions are genuine, it might look like she used her role to gain personal connections, which can be seen as a conflict of interest.
  • Timing matters. How long it happens after the patient passes makes it more or less sensitive. If there was a cooling-off period (months later), it might not be as concerning.

Best Move Right Now

  • Pause all contact immediately until she understands company policy.
  • Talk to HR discreetly (if needed) to clarify rules before making any decisions.
  • She should respectfully end communication if the company prohibits it to protect her job.

If allowed, she should still proceed with extreme caution—grief can complicate emotional dynamics.

Her friend's warning is valid, and while this situation isn't necessarily a fireable offense, perception matters. She needs to tread carefully and listen to HR-but if they give the OK, best wishes 🙂

Nurse Beth

 

Specializes in Physiology, CM, consulting, nsg edu, LNC, COB.

Short answer, no. It's just a phone call. If she wants to develop a relationship with him, and is no longer involved in the care of his relative, there is no reason to think that her care would be influenced (in which case it would be improper). If she doesn't want to develop a relationship with him, she can use the job as an excuse PRN. 

However, this might be a good topic for a coffee-break conversation about how bereaved family members may have complicated feelings about caregivers. Allowing some time to pass might be prudent; she can explain that to him to help set boundaries.