Is it me, or is this a little harsh?

[opossum]

Ran into the nurse manager of the floor where I did my senior immersion - I was there to pick up a recommendation by my preceptor. The manager seemed surprised that I still have not found a job and asked if I had applied to the unit; a little background: before graduating, I asked her about opportunities on the unit and was told, curtly, "There are no positions."

I also applied multiple times and hand delivered my resume and cover letter to the unit and followed up, etc. No response.

So yesterday, when I saw her and talked to her about what I've been up to with the job search, she wrote down my name, apologized for my getting lost in the shuffle and told me to apply for the recently posted position - sure, it requires 2 years exp. but she said to go ahead and apply anyway.

I did just that, and emailed her ASAP to tell her and attached my resume again, etc. This is the response I got via email:

Hi [unemployed

RN

]I spoke with the staff who felt that you were not ready for the intensity of nursing on [unit X] , Best of luck, [Manager X]

Now...I'm used to rejection at this point. I'm used to being told I don't have the experience they need, no new grads, etc...I can even handle constructive criticism. But this seems a bit cruel. I wouldn't have applied for the umpteenth time, had she not encouraged me to and given me an indication that she MIGHT be interested in me joining their team.

Could there have been other ways to say this? Maybe let me down gently? Or how about not encouraging me to apply without first speaking to the staff?!

Or am I being too sensitive...?

[AKAnurse4]

No you're not being be overly sensitive....I've been in the same position before...nurse managers leading you only to let you down...it's really hard out here for new grads; I am too waiting for hospitals to make jobs offers after several interviews..I think you should respond nicely and just keep moving we shouldn't waste our time on little things..in time you will see it will only make us STRONGER!:-) we're gonna be ok!!! good luck and God bless

[opossum]

Thank you AKA; I probably should respond nicely but I don't think I will respond at all. I came very close to saying "...and whose fault is that? You trained me, right?"

But I know better than to burn bridges...

Just feeling bitter - all that hard work, 3.92 GPA, good recommendations from my preceptor on that unit....for nothing (or so it seems).

Bitter, dejected, sad and broke. This teaching hospital doesn't even want their own product.

Thank you again for the kind words, though :)

[SCnurse2010]

Reading it from an outside vantage point, it doesn't sound harsh to me. It's so hard to convey tone/meaning in email. She may have been kicking herself for encouraging you to apply and then having to send you that email. As a new grad myself, I understand fully where you are (and reacted to emails the same way in similar circumstances). Try to stay positive and trust that this just wasn't the place for you at this time. God/karma/the universe/whatever has wonderful plans for you; make the best of what you have and keep plugging away toward your goals. You'll get there!

[caliotter3]

Based upon some experiences that I am aware of, I would chalk this up to someone getting sick pleasure from belittling another person and flaunting their self-perceived "power". No non-sick person dealing with employment decisions would waste their valuable time to lead on an unemployed person just to laugh at them. Best to just move on.

[JeanettePNP, MSN, RN, NP]

Some people like to throw around promises and assurances without stopping to think that you, on the other end, just may be placing a lot of hope and reliance on those promises. Mature and responsible people think of the implication of their words before they speak.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I seems a little harsh to me ... but not outrageously so. Her big mistake was in encouraging you to apply when she wasn't willing to fight for you to get the position.

The difficult, but really political move might be to use this opportunity to get some advice from her -- and maybe a little help down the line. She might feel a little bad that she led you on only to dump you. If you add a little to your reply about how difficult the job market is for new grads right now and ask her for some advice, she might have some practical tips to offer you. She also might "open a possibility" for you to the manager of another unit in that hospital. Don't just "avoid burning a brige," actually take some steps to build one. Tell her it was nice seeing her again ... express your regret that you do not yet have the experience they are seeking on her particular unit ... tell her how much you enjoyed working there and with her staff ... etc. ... ask her if she has any advice to offer a new grad trying to get that first job in a market where no one is hiring new grads ... and see what she has to say.

Such a move would require that you swallow a little pride and anger -- but it could produce a professional relationship with someone who could help your career. Sometimes we all have to do that sort of thing.

[Lovely_RN, MSN]

I won't accuse her of deliberate cruelty but yes that was harsh and tacky too. An email rejection of a resume/application is only appropriate when you have never met the person face-to-face. Since she meet you on the unit as a student and you spoke in person prior to you submitting your resume/application a phone call was the least she could have given you. I know she has a busy job but a phone call to tell someone that they aren't a good fit for a position takes what? 60 seconds tops? The tone of the email was also insulting.

Hi [unemployed RN]I spoke with the staff who felt that you were not ready for the intensity of nursing on [unit X] , Best of luck, [Manager X]

That's horrible. She could have kept it simple and stated that she apologizes but she was mistaken and that currently you are not a good fit for the unit. Why did she have to state that she sat around talking with the staff about you and that collectively they decided that you were not ready for their "intense" unit?

That email is like rubbing sandpaper on an open wound.

Oh well, so much for good manners or empathy. That said, I agree with llg, swallow your pride and anger; try to make lemonade out of this. I would call her up and thank her very kindly for considering me. In addition to asking for tips I would ask her if she knew of positions in other depts that might be more suitable. Chances are she knows other nurse managers or people in administration.

[opossum]

Thanks, everyone...

llg - I think that is good advice and I appreciate your perspective on this; however, I'm not so sure that would be productive at this point given a few things about the culture of that unit, which I didn't share in my initial post. I have asked her before to talk about possible opportunities on this unit and told her how things were going well in clinicals, how I'm learning a lot and would love to continue here, etc. Granted, this was all said in a short amount of time, since - yes, it was a busy unit - but her dismissive reply at that time was: "There are no positions." I feel like I've done all I can at this point and any further input from her would just get me sucked into a negativity vortex. I've actually interviewed for another unit at this place that is equally "intense" and was told by that (different) manager that she was "impressed" by me but unfortunately had to hire an RN with more experience. That's at least a professional (and flattering!) response from a manager. This...I felt was personal and hurtful. It's clear that managers set the tone for a unit and let's just say there's a reason this place is not a Magnet facility...

Instead, I've been using my networking skills to find out what nurse managers are looking for in new grads - I've posted in the Nurse Manager forum here and I have contacted nurses among my family, friends and neighbors...I'm getting great insight. I'm learning how to play up my strengths. I'm reading articles and prepping myself for interviews as much as I can.

This just really took the wind out of my sails and confirmed my insecurities about being able to hack it as a nurse.

Thank you all for letting me vent about this...things will get better for us...right???

[slave_diverRN]

I read something else in the note...that SHE wants to hire you...but as a TEAM, the TEAM didn't feel you had enough experience for THAT unit.

Team dynamics are important and to have a successful team, she needs the support of her staff in her new hires.

Its hard, but please take her interest as a compliment to you and an interest in having you join her unit in the future. In a year or two, you may very well be one of the members of that team making the tough decision that someone else isn't yet ready for that level of nursing.

[opossum]

I read something else in the note...that SHE wants to hire you...but as a TEAM, the TEAM didn't feel you had enough experience for THAT unit.

Team dynamics are important and to have a successful team, she needs the support of her staff in her new hires.

Its hard, but please take her interest as a compliment to you and an interest in having you join her unit in the future. In a year or two, you may very well be one of the members of that team making the tough decision that someone else isn't yet ready for that level of nursing.

I see what you're saying about team dynamics and agree that they are important...and for that reason, maybe I'm not right for that unit. I don't know. And I can't say for sure that SHE (meaning the nurse manager in question) wanted to hire me...

As far as I knew, I got along well with the RNs and CNAs there. Who knows. But if it was about the team not feeling I had enough experience for that unit, then why the push for me to apply?? They were aware of my level of experience - I trained on their floor. I know for a fact they've hired new grads in the past. It just hurts. I'll get over it, but for now her response was uncalled for.

I just wonder how many other new grads (or even experienced RNs) have been freezed out of a unit due to team dynamics disguised as not being ready for the "intensity" of that floor.