Is it better to refuse job due to another job offer, or drama in work place?

[cynthy]

What do you all think?... is it better to refuse a job offer and tell them it's because you got another job offer or tell them it's because of the drama in the work place..... Here is what happened.....

During the interview I told "xyz" that I was waiting to hear back from "abc" but they did not get back with me so I moved forward and ended up in the interview for "xyz".then .... "xyz" hired me and from day one the gals I worked beside and training me would not even look me in the eye, answer my questions with much detail and wouldn't let me help do anything... One of them even disrespected me and hollered at me in front of doctor for something totally uncalled for.. The nursing supervisor found out and apologized for their behavior and told me they weren't happy I was there because the spot I was hired for was for one of them and she didn't want to go... so the supervisor moved me to another area to train with someone else.. Asked me to think about it and she wouldn't blame me if I quit but to let her know by AM... Well that very day, I got a call from "abc" and they offered me the job I had been waiting for since 6 weeks back.. working for federal gov... I don't know what to tell "xyz" they are calling begging me to come back and that gal called me crying and apologizing to me.... wow.. I don't know what to tell them.. Any advice?

[el_peon]

NurseKitten's reply is perfect.

Besides, you only worked there 3 days. I'm sure they still have other applicants that they could call as it hasnt been that long since they interviewed in the first place.

[meluhn]

I worked there 3 days.... I'm embarrased about leaving after just 3 days.. I don't agree with starting a new job and quitting like that, especially so soon. but, I had those issues going on and the supervisor came to me to talk about it, I didn't go to her and complain, Then, believe it or not, I get a call that day offering me a job with the place I had been waiting on for 6 weeks and didn't think I got it because it took so long,..,I wouldn't of taken another job if I thought there was a chance or that happening..totally surprised me.....

You lucked out! I wouldn't even give that place a second thought. Lots of people try something out and find out its not for them. Like another poster said, you dont have to put it on your resume. Good Luck.

[RhiaRN75, RN]

I think fate already answered your question. For whatever reason- in the bigger scheme of things- it seems like fate wanted you to see 'xyz' in all it's insanity first.

I have found that when fate lines things up for you so that it all just falls perfectly in place- you have a good thing going. Pay careful attention to what you learn- for example- why did fate throw the drama of 'xyz' your way? Later on you'll realize what the reason was. Even though you were just there three days, I think the grace you display during you exit stategy will influence things down the road.

We always question fate- we always wait for the fine print or the other shoe to drop. So- move on past the drama of xyz posthaste and with as much tact as possible. Seems like abc is where you need to be!

[CASTLEGATES]

I hate to say this but some may have thought this and not posted....if money is an issue, you can always go back to work to get a paycheck then once the fed job starts, off you go. Facilities that tolerate dysfunction require pain (if the entire facility is like that). The only way they'll know is if staff LEAVE.

On your resignation letter, state "I am resigning effective xxx" and don't give a reason but do mention since it's the orientation period and you're not counted in staffing you needn't give advance notice.

I am a huge proponent of leaving dysfunctional places (again, if it's throughout the facility). Their taking it out on you for something you didn't do is no different than that post about racial discrimination. Is it your fault? Did you have a choice? Were you treated unfairly as a consequence of things beyond your control? Take a paycheck as you float on orientation as payment for what they've done and sleep well at night. Resign 2 days before the fed job starts.

The manager moving you was a mistake...huge.

The federal job may have dysfunction BUT tolerate it forever if your need to (you saw their bennies, it's well worth it). Before you know it in a few years, you pay will be double theirs anyway.

NEVER leave a federal job. You can always transfer but never ever leave it.

[CASTLEGATES]

I have to share I was awaiting a decision on a state job but nothing came up so I started working for a facility where my manager insisted I outright lie to the CEO (they hired me to bring admissions up and make a detailed report about barriers to admissions and any other recommendations for success). The CEO kept trying to meet with me but my manager (once she knew I was a straight shooter) kept canceling my appointment.

Turned out the barriers were the admission team themselves; one clocking in a couple hours then going home to be with her kid the rest of the day (longest day she ever worked was 4 hours) and the enabler boss who covered for her and they'd both tout praises and get raises while preventing me from tattling. I was hired by some higher ups (maybe an investor decision?), not my boss. I guaranteed I could see what was happening and increase their admissions by at least 15 percent...

I asked for an appointment with the CEO and told her everything, why their census was low, why their budget was too high.... My immediate boss tried to physically stop me when she saw my report but I reminded her I was hired solely to report just what was going on and how to fix it and I was facility loyal not boss loyal (in this case) and she can't block my phone and fax. She freaked since there was a LOT to hide and money disappearing, as well.

...So I went up (this was the same day I heard the CEO herself lie outright to all their investors about a higher census than they had and a waiting list and other things staff grumbled and exclaimed "they're lying again and writing phantom names on the census board!"). I told the CEO what their problem was and how it was enabled and why they're not full and certainly could be. It was a dysfunctional place with enablers throughout but I did have support from staff who wanted to work and do the best they could and stop the insanity.

The CEO begged me to stay but I told her dishonesty wasn't my bag and all this dysfunction likely trickled down from her (oops!) since she should set an example and I saw and heard what she did with the investors. I told her it was likely staff knowledge of her dishonesty that compromised her in a position of authority that bred dishonesty, enabling and money and time siphoning (vs threat of investor knowledge). She wasn't happy and was shocked then she offered to add 10g to my pay and I told her you could put a 0 after my salary and no amount was worth it as I set down my comprehensive report and resignation and walked out. THAT felt good because I did a thorough and honest job and caught the CEO! Oh, I neglected to mention I forwarded my report to some investor rep, apparently higher up than the CEO. They shouldn't have hired me but my guess is the problems were addressed at the very least.

Interestingly 2 weeks later (after waiting 3 months) I got the job I really wanted for a state facility (wow they were slow)!

That felt good.

If I were you, I would have kept getting the paycheck until the job came (yeah hindsight), submit the resignation letter with a separate unsigned letter telling them it was unfair and your boss was enabling dysfunction by removing you and not reprimanding and educating THEM (that you just applied for a job and how could you know of their catty pissant problem?) and that your expectations and standards were unfortunately too high for a place where this could occur.

It's the truth and the truth sometimes can help a facility stop the madness.

(excuse the run on's and grammar)