In complete and utter ShOcK!

107 Posts

Hey guys!

I've been a member of this site since 2008. I graduated this past May from ADN program. I have been lurking on this thread for the past 2 years esp the closer it got to graduation. I just wanted to drop in and share my NCLEX experience(s) and hopefully give some type of encouragment or inspiration..something! Forgive me for my brain is stilled fried..lol!

I was probably the FIRST one in my class that had a job interview before we graduated which was in April for my dream position at an out of state hospital. I found out in June that I was hired for the position and scheduled my FIRST nclex for 7-7. At this point alot of my classmates had already started taking the exam at the end of June, and not hesitating to post on fb how they were passing at 75qs, so this gave me the conifidence that I could do the same-NOT! My first mistake was telling all of my family when I was taking the exam (it just made my anxiety worse). To prepare, I used Saunders 4th edition, Hurst Review, Kaplan Strategies 2012-2013 (green book), nclex 3500, the 35 pg "study guide" and questions from any and everywhere else I could find. I studied MY ASS OFF for this exam! The day of the test I was a nervous wreck. When I got pass 75qs I was thankful that I was still "In the game" but once I got to like 120 I started to freak out and this made me lose focus tremendously. I actually believe that this is the reason that I did't pass. I lost my concentration because I figured since the computer didn't turn off I was doing horrible plus fatigue started to set in.

At the end of the exam I felt like I had been mind raped! I literally walked out of the building like a zombie..I balled my eyes out the entire 1hr drive home. I was numb and deep down inside I thought "There is NO way I passed that damn test". I got home..balled some more to my fiance and finally got up enough nerve to do the trick and then BAM..CC page. I literally wanted to die and I cried for everyday for about a week or two. Here I was banking on passing this exam because I was the ONLY one in my group that had a job waiting for me that I was scheduled to start the following month. I didn't want to have to face my friends or family with the news that I didn't pass because it was so embarrassing. I felt like I would looked down upon as "stupid, dumb, or not smart". To make matters worse, I was faced with the heart wrenching fact that I had to tell my recruiter for my dream job that I didn't pass. I am so thankful to God that she informed me that everything was ok and that they would hold the position for me until I passed.

This gave me hope and the strength I needed to regroup and start studying for The Beast again. I got my performance report exactly one month after I failed which was 8-7 and I Near Passing in all 8 categories which meant I had to start studying from the ground up again. I got my second ATT on 8-20 and scheduled my exam for yesterday. Because I had already had all that info stored in my brain from the first time..it kind of gave me an advantage to study something different so I ordered PDA by Lacharity. I wish I would have had this book the first time! It is A MUST have to practice those priority type questions on NCLEX. I kept calm the entire 3wks of studying. It may sound weird but I didn't to put as much effort into as I did before because I was so crushed to know that I studied so hard the first time only to only fail. This second time around I didn't tell ANYONE but my fiance the date I was taking it again. People would randomly ask and I would just say "whenever I feel ready in a few months". But I knew the day!

*This time I also focused more on putting my trust in God. I kept telling myself, whatever you decide Lord is fine with me I will accept it. If its not my time again..then its not. I put post it notes all over the place with my name with RN behind it and a msg that said I WILL PASS NCLEX*

9-13..I was very calm on the way to the test center and I even got there about an hr 15 mins early but I sat in my car listening to the song Some Nights by Fun. This helped me relax. I went inside the testing center at about 1:15 and by 1:30 I found myself sitting infront of this monster again. I said a little prayer to myself "He will not leave me, he will not forsake me" and began. The 1st question I thought to myself..oh crap. I pushed through all the way up to 75, and once I got past 75 I was thinking..ok I can do this. Got to 115..140..200..265. I was the last one testing in the center-AGAIN. I was drained-AGAIN. I had 32-35 SATA, 5 math over 90% was infection control, teaching and PDA. Somehow when I left I was peaceful. I didnt shed a single tear but deep down inside I feared that there is NO WAY that I could have passed this exam again. On most of the questions I could narrow it down to 2 answers but after that I was pretty much a guessing game. I had a crap load of meds that I wouldn't have known with Einstein's brain! I basically felt like I guessed on 98% of the questions and that is NO LIE!

Well I get home, and I still have the mind set that it is what it is..if I didn't pass that would just be another $200. There is NO WAY that I was going to allow myself to be as distraught as I was the first time around. I never wanted to feel that pain again..so I just didnt allow myself to cry. I accepted the fact that I failed it again. I took a shower, ate and got in the bed on came to this site to read about all those who failed twice with 265qs. I didnt even want to try the PVT because I already knew what I was going to get. Finally about 2 hours later and reading all these stories on here..I thought to myself "Just do the damn thing..you've already failed it so seeing the CC page again is not going to kill you. So I logged into my account, entered the req info got down to the BON..took a breath, got a little shaky and faint because my heart was racing and hit Next...and there it was...

"Our records indicate you have recently scheduled this exam. Please contact a member of your boards, another registration cannot be made at this time."

I DID IT!!! I conquered this beast...this monsterous cloud that has been hanging over my head for the last 4 months..it's over!! I can get back to a normal life..I have secured my future with a career that I can be proud of. I pray to God that it is true and I won't believe it until I see my name on the BON. This just goes to show that you can fail at 265 and PASS at 265 questions. I am living walking proof of it, it may seem dark and gray but don't give up or loose focus on what you are trying to achieve..NEVER give up..EVER! I promise it will be worth it in the end. I am floating on cloud 999999!!

Thank you for taking the time to read this long story but I hope it helps someone else in the future! Peace be with you all on your journeys :nurse:

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caliRN2112

14 Posts

Sep 14, 2012

Congrats!

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Futurenurse108

64 Posts

Sep 14, 2012

Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you!!

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copelald

107 Posts

Sep 14, 2012

Thank you all so much!

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Sharmi RN-BSN, BSN

358 Posts

Sep 14, 2012

Amazing story :).CONGRATULATIONS!!!

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copelald

107 Posts

Sep 14, 2012

Amazing story :).CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Thank u! I saw you other posts and I just wanted to send positive vibes your way! Good luck taking the exam! I can't wait to congratulate you :) YOU GOT THIS!!

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Sharmi RN-BSN, BSN

358 Posts

Sep 14, 2012

Thank u! I saw you other posts and I just wanted to send positive vibes your way! Good luck taking the exam! I can't wait to congratulate you :) YOU GOT THIS!!

Thank you so much!!!