I'm trying to settle a feud.

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I would like to ask the nurses here a question about testicular cancer. Input from oncology nurses would be most appreciated:

My dad and my boyfriend Chris are caught up in a huge feud. Chris has had testicular cancer for a year, but my dad thinks he's lying. My dad isn't willing to talk to him, and my boyfriend doesn't feel he has anything to prove to my dad and won't talk to my dad either. Its ridiculous!

What's worse is that my boyfriends "condition" is suspicious, and he keeps me in the dark about a lot of it. What he does tell me is that:

- his testicle hurts

- there's a lump in one testicle (I've felt a lump)

- he's had a couple of biopsies

- it hurts to pee and masturbate.

AND he isn't willing to prove my dad wrong on any of it, which only makes my dad SOOOOO much more certain that he's lying. So what I want to know is:

1) Is it possible to have testicular cancer for more than a year?

2) Is a "wait and see" approach to cancer treatment common? My dad has been calling and talking to doctors and nurses who say that not only is that not a common approach, but my boyfriend's story is highly improbable.

3) My boyfriend claims to not have the money to pay the rest of his insurance, and therefore can't start any serious treatment, like major surgery or radiation therapy. Which I think he CAN. Right? No hospital is going to let someone just HAVE cancer.

4) How, after all this time, do I confront my boyfriend that I think he's lying about this whole thing? The way he describes it, it sounds more like he has a prostate infection or gonorrhea!

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Specializes in SICU.

No one on this board can give you medical advice. If you think your boyfriend is lying to you and has an infectious disease then you should go to YOUR doctor.

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Specializes in Advanced Practice, surgery.

I think this is something you need to be discussing with your man.

There are far to many variables and the need to take a decent medical history to give any advice which as UK student has quite rightly said is not something we should be doing here

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Specializes in Psych, Assertive Community Resource Team.

Why should your boyfriend have to prove anything to your father about his health issues? Maybe he is embarrassed to discuss his testicular issues with your father, especially if your father has made it clear he thinks he is a liar.

To answer your questions though:

Yes, you can have testicular cancer for more then a year, yes sometimes they use a "wait and see" approach to treatment. Especially if he has no insurance and the cancer is not growing.

And yes hospitals can and do allow people just "have cancer" because they can not pay. Hospitals only "have" to treat emergent immediately life threatening conditions. Hospitals could care less if people live or die with a chronic disease if they can't pay for treatment.

IMO, you and your father both owe your boyfriend an apology. And, if you truly believe he is lying about having cancer, why would you stay with someone like that? It sounds like you have some serious trust issues to work out in that relationship.

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Specializes in midwifery, NICU.

What buisness is it of your fathers anyway? I know, you are his baby, but this is something you need to sort out in your relationship, not with you Dad involved.

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Specializes in Education, FP, LNC, Forensics, ED, OB.

Please just be honest and confront your boyfriend.

And, see a physician if you are concerned regarding your own health.

Good luck and we wish him and you, well.

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