Im socially awkward. Cant interview well.

[lpatt9981]

I have awkward social skills. I've been told I can "rock the boat" of course, its on accident. A lot of my friends say that Its my endearing quality though, and they love it. Me? I cant stand it. I'm sick of it.

So. I have been a RN for almost 8 years. I still cant interview to save my life.I read numerous posts on here about good interviewing skills, how to prep etc. Background on me? Sure...I am a chatty cathy. When Im nervous...I talk.too. much...its a thing. I have a slight stutter from anxiety Ive had since I was a small kid. So, I try to speed up my speech so I dont get stuck on a vowel.

The interview- Im 20 minutes early. pray, fix my lip gloss, and think, smile, look her in the eyes, shake hands. DONT TALK TO MUCH! She comes around the corner..I jump up, shreik, HELLO! LOL, seriously...I cant win. So, I introduce myself, say hello, shake her hand and make really good eye contact. Borderline creepy style?..maybe. hahaha. I impulsively then compliment her on her gorgeous dress, my favorite color looked stunning on her, She grinned and said thank you. So far so good? I dont know, I need to step it up, chill out, "ok, deep breath"...walking down the long hall way, I blurt out..."I talk to much when Im nervous, feel free to reel me in if you need to." OH MY GOD Lindsay! I instantly felt like a flipping idiot. But, I had to commit and go with it, dont look like a flake, I said to myself. Dont be awkward! (I am digging a big hole and its not even started yet)

I made a list prior to my interview about what my weaknesses were (I was totally expecting this question)and not the corny ones we all use (I'm a perfectionist, I take on too much work, I care too much blah blah blah), I wanted to be candid and refreshingly honest...I decided a good one would be (and an honest one) that I need to be better about my charting. Doing it as I go, not waiting and putting it off, and stress fully inputting it all at one time. I even made a list of things I've done to change this behavior. That sounds great right? Yeah, if you were asked what your biggest weakness was....UGHHH! THEY NEVER ASKED ME THIS QUESTION! But who do you think told them anyways! It just spilled out of me like an involuntary spasm or something. Just comes out...perhaps all the rehearsing I had done that morning? They look at me (oh I forgot to add, its a peer interview) and say, Oh, how long have you noticed this?" I laugh and say "a while, i just did it 2 weeks ago!"

Ok, I think you can see what Im up against. I have great skills, Im a good nurse. I just cant conversate in interviews to save my life in a way that makes you trust me right off the bat. I still havent heard back yet. I think I talked my way out of this position. My big fat mouth.

If you can relate Id like to hear from you. I cant be the only one out there with this problem?!

Thanks.

[caliotter3]

Perhaps you could benefit from personal/professional counseling for both the interview problems and the underlying emotional problems that contribute to you acting that way. Jobs are too hard to come by these days for many people for you to continue putting yourself in a bad way without doing everything in your power to overcome this bad habit.

[elkpark]

I agree with caliotter -- working with a professional coach on your interviewing skills could make a significant difference, and could be money well spent. Best wishes!

[lpatt9981]

Thank you for responding to this. I think I might be blowing this up in my head, as a bigger deal than I think it appeared. I spoke to the recruiter (its been only 6 days since the interview) and they cant make up their mind about the final few interviews (I am in that bunch) So that must mean it went better than I think, right? I notoriously beat myself up, and berate myself over things that I view I had control over. Like this interview, clearly. I think your ideas of a coach or counseling is a great idea, and ill look into it. Thanks, Ill update on whether or not I got this position.

[lpatt9981]

thank you!

[lpatt9981]

thank you very much!

[elkpark]

For what it's worth, I've been on both sides of interviewing for jobs and, in my experience, interviewers are well aware that it is a stressful situation for the applicant and they are not necessarily at their best in the interview.

[HereIamagain]

Perhaps a Valium would help?

[spaghetina]

Let me share my first (and basically last) interview story with you, in the hopes that my sorrow makes you feel better about how you did.

Some background on me. I'm a new grad. I've never worked as a nurse, and the last time I interviewed for a job, prior to the horrible one I'm about to tell you about, was almost 20 years ago (I've worked since then, but I was offered those jobs because I was either a customer, family friend, or a client, and people just kind of offered me jobs because they got to know me and liked me, I guess).

I have pretty extreme anxiety, both generalized and social, to the point where sometimes even going out is difficult because I know I'll have to interact with people. This often manifests itself in my inability to speak naturally, where I stumble over my words, and sometimes get caught up on something I'm saying, and end up going all the way back to the beginning of the sentence to start over and rephrase. It's annoying and straight up weird - like watching take after take of someone on a tv show, except it's playing out in real time. It also takes me a really long time to come up with the right wording because I'm always editing things in my head. This, does not a good interviewee make.

Somehow, though, this essentially does not come into play at all in a working environment. By some miracle, my brain knows how to suck it up once it's time to get down to business. It does not, however, know how to speak in coherent sentences and act like a normal human during an interview.

So, I walked into the room of 2 nurse managers, introduced myself, handed out portfolios, then sat down and pulled out my water bottle. As I started to speak, I could feel my voice catching in my throat. See, that's what happens when I get nervous. Everything tightens up, and my voice gets so shaky that I sound like I'm talking while ascending a rickety wooden rollercoaster. I stopped myself, and apologized, and then said I needed to take a deep breath. OUT LOUD. Why?? And as I did that, I held my arms out at my sides and sort of shook my hands, the way you shake off nerves. But again... in front of them. Why?!

So, they asked me the normal battery of behavioral questions, but I awkwardly answered with responses that I'd spent the last week rehearsing, so I sounded robotic and, well... reheorificed. Then it came to the clinical questions, and for those, they had paper handouts with scenarios written on them. I was thinking, Great, a quick break in the torture for me to take a sip of water and grab this paper! So I did that. I took a sip of water. And just as I did, one of the nurse managers made half a joke (not even a good one), and I laughed. A way overexaggerated laugh because my nerves were through the roof. Oh, and my mouth was still full of that sip of water. You see where this is going?

I sprayed water out of my mouth and across the table like I was in some kind of bad comedy. Not only did I hit every stack of papers for the other applicants, but I'm pretty sure I got both of the nurse managers in the face. I didn't know what to do. I panicked. I apologized profusely, and tried my best to clean it up, and while they were both really sweet and understanding, I knew the interview was over. I did answer the clinical scenarios, went through the "Do you have any questions for us?" portion, and then asked for their business cards as I was leaving, so that I could follow up, at which point, one of the interviewers kind of guffawed.

Obviously, I didn't get that job, and I haven't had another in-person interview since (had one digital interview, but I'm quite sure I managed to botch that one, too). I can't remember a time I felt lower than I did that day, and for many, many days (weeks, months, if we're being honest) following. It's been hard to want to try again because that was so mortifying and terrifying for me. I know that the best thing to do is suck it up and get over it - interviewing is a skill, and for some, it needs to be developed more than for others, blah blah blah, but I'm a sensitive person who takes rejections harder than most. Like you, I beat myself up, berate myself for being a moron, and knock myself all the way down because I can't believe how good I am at screwing things up.

This whole job search process makes me feel really discouraged because I know what I'm capable of, and when I'm at work, I'm pretty "normal." I just can't get anything across in an interview because I turn into a bumbling, awkward, incoherent, ineloquent idiot.

So, take heart. You made it into the final group that's being considered, so you must've done something right! And should something happen, and you be faced with the interview process again, look at it this way, it could always be worse. You could be me. Lol.

[middleagednurse]

Perhaps get a prescription med to calm your nerves?

[DTWriter]

For future interviews, ask if you can shadow the unit.

Not only would shadowing give you the opportunity to scope the unit but allow the employees to get to know you (somewhat) outside of interviews, and they may put in a good word about you.