I'm not 'getting' this. Should I be RN?

Published

I am a new nurse, have been working at Rehab/LTC for six months. The last four months have been at a great facility: Nurse/patient ratio averages 1:14. My problem: I'm always late finishing my shift, feel like I'm moving in slow motion most days. I know I've improved much since my first month or two, but I still feel like such a moron. I look at the more seasoned nurses with such envy. I want to know what they know, work as efficiently as they do, etc. If there are no 'crisis' (patient falls, surprise admits, etc.) I have a pretty decent day. But whenever something comes up, even if it's a lot of new physician orders to complete, it throws everything off for me.

Also, after I completed orientation, I had a couple of confrontations with a seasoned nurse who likes to take advantage of everyone, especially newbies. I wasn't aware of her polarizing reputation the first time I stood up for myself. The second time I knew but held my ground: I wasn't going to let her push me around. This seems to have back-fired on me. She is tight with most of the nursing aids, and a lot of them have gone out of their way to make my life miserable. The other nurses seem to avoid me; I think they feel as though I'm the trouble maker. Consequently, I've not made any friends, which really makes me sad. I feel as though I can't handle this new career. I'm old enough to be mom to many of these nurses. Want to know where I stand compared to other new nurses, but terrified to ask my manager or DON.

I'm in tears as I write this. Please give me advice. I'm miserable. :crying2:

Specializes in Home Care.

Sometimes its not easy fitting into a new job no matter what type of work it is.

6 months ago I started my new job in medical rehab, I had a year experience working in LTC so I had a lot to learn. There was a lot of adjusting for me since the majority of my co-workers are of another culture that is not representative of the majority of our patients.

We had many conflicts over that 6 months. Note that I said "we", not "me" not "her" or "them". We all had something to contribute to the conflicts and we all eventually worked through those conflicts.

After 6 months I finally feel accepted and part of the team.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

Hang in there. That kind of stuff sucks.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Good advice from Beast master.

I'm not fit to judge who is right and who is wrong as far as whatever disputes you have had, as I don't know the absolute circumstances surrounding them. However there are certainly seasoned nurses and such who have LOUSY, pretentious and power tripping attitudes and are worth of a sound slap upside the head. However, that's obviously not an option. I say stand up for yourself ANYTIME you feel that you are being disrespected, but also know your limitations and try to think about what would or wouldn't sound acceptable if the DON were to overhear the conversation and your response to it. But also own up to any non-petty mistakes that you make quickly, and accept whatever crap you may end up taking if you do make such a mistake as it will always come with the territory. And find somebody you can confide in there too, I would think there would have to be at least one warm soul somewhere in that facility who would have some knowledge of your problems, offer you an ear and maybe a little sound advise too. And if not, than the place you are at is in one SAD state of affairs, and I would be looking to expand my horizons and look elsewhere if the place truly is that bad.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Around six months seems to be the time that being a new nurse just SUCKS.

You're at that point where you're getting frustrated with not "getting it" and feel like you should be "getting it" but it's just going to take a few more months to feel comfortable. And a while after that to be able to make decisions faster and assess faster and chart faster and change tracks faster.

Give yourself some more time, don't worry about other people, just go to work and try to do a little better each day.

I think this is a good point and I remember being in that place in my head. I knew enough to know that things had to be done a certain way but I also knew enough to know that I wasn't there yet. Very frustrating. OP, just hang in there, be patient with yourself, and let everything come together the way it should. You'll get there!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, Behavioral Health, Dermatology.
Don't go to work to make friends. Sometimes you will, sometimes you won't. But making friends at work generally comes from time together. As in years, not months. And it comes from having time to get to know each other (which as a newbie, you're just not going to have time because it takes a while to be able to just do your job in the time you have at work.)

Around six months seems to be the time that being a new nurse just SUCKS.

You're at that point where you're getting frustrated with not "getting it" and feel like you should be "getting it" but it's just going to take a few more months to feel comfortable. And a while after that to be able to make decisions faster and assess faster and chart faster and change tracks faster.

Give yourself some more time, don't worry about other people, just go to work and try to do a little better each day.

GREAT advice!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

Wow...I'm surprised at all the people who suggest ass kissing is the way to go. It's great to be friendly with your co-workers but when you're new, you need to concentrate on the work. Of course you're slower than they are....you're new! I had more than one run in on my very first job in LTC since, honestly, the rest of the nurses were stupid and didn't have a clue. They were not friendly to 'the new kid' who wasn't stupid. That was more years ago than I'd care to remember. You need to find your own way to do your job. Speed is not everything. Being careful and thoughtful with the residents is more important than making friends.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Rehab/LTC.

Tofayelbd - Thanks for your advice. It is true. I need to learn to not react so quickly. I sometimes think I bring on my own problems!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Rehab/LTC.
i am a nursing student without any rn experience, however i have been in the medical field for 6yrs (ma). i have seen this type of behavior before from "seasoned professionals" and i can not stand it. i wish you the best in whatever you decide to do but do not let her make you feel as if you are her inferior (as this is her goal). you are a human being and you deserve to be treated as one. we all have to begin somewhere even though some of us learn faster than others. it seems as if there is some kind of alliance going on there and maybe you are not missing out on anything (imo), i mean who wants to befriend someone who gets off on putting others down/making their lives miserable versus helping them? as nurses our goal is to "help" in anyway possible, if it is something as simple as picking something up off the floor for a patient or orienting a new nurse. whatever you decide, hold your head high and set the new standard because it seems that there are a lot of passiveness going on from your coworkers and i applaud you for making a difference. we all know if there is a problem and you do nothing about it other than watch, you are the problem as well. i wish you the best and i will keep you and your situation in my prayers! :-)

ransoms - i appreciate you jumping in with your advice. i can't stand this behavior either, and i guess i don't have a very thick skin yet. i hate to be treated this way, especially when people don't even know me yet. i'm all about working hard for the patients, and believe very much in all of the staff helping each other out. however, my trying to make a difference seems to have only made a difference to me...in a bad way. thanks for your prayers. i need them! good luck with your studies. :nurse:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Rehab/LTC.
i would not be confronting anyone--especially as a newbie!

tango - thanks so much for your advice. i remember hearing this in nursing school..."don't make waves", "stay under the radar", etc. which i think makes a lot of sense. however, i did not confront this nurse, i just responded to her (for all intents and purposes) attack. she has issues. i'm staying away from her. but i hold my head high and look her straight in the eye every time i see her. we are civil, and if i have questions, she helps me, so i have to give her that. but i trust her about as far as i can throw her.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Rehab/LTC.
i am not a nurse, but as a human being who has worked with a variety of other human beings (mostly female!) i can offer a bit of advice.

i recently started a job where most of the people were younger than me- 18, 19 year old kids. i had previous experience in the field that gave me some superior knowledge and a bachelor's degree, which made me sort of a "grown up" or an outsider.

i will tell you what you do; let who you are speak for itself. do your best always, treat people courteously, and be friendly. make life as easy as you can for your aides, maybe even kiss a little ass...more than likely people will start to realize (after awhile) that you are a high quality person, a great worker, and probably a good friend. sometimes it takes time to get "in", especially after a clash with one of the insiders.

just my two cents!

chunkiesundae - first off, i love your user name. makes me want to run to dairy queen right now! thanks for responding. i've been overwhelmed by all of the responses. this forum is so helpful, as you already know. i especially love your line..."let who you are speak for itself." that is now and always has been my intent at this job. i am one of the friendliest people you know (i'll talk to anyone!) and i help the aides as much as i can. i work very hard and it kills me when others treat me so badly. (that thin skin problem of mine.) as far as getting "in" with this staff, i agree it will probably take time, but believe me, this wicked nurse is not one of the insiders. everyone for the most part avoids her like the plague. you've heard the expression "don't rock the boat"? in her case, it's more like, "don't rock the battleship." and she knows it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Rehab/LTC.
i would say that there is a difference between getting along with the people you work with and being friends with them. learn to do your job well, focus on the patient, and the rest will fall into place, or not, when you get on your feet. at this time the best thing is to focus on the patient and on how well you do your job.

it's going to take a while for you to feel on top of things, and even when that happens you will have days that make you wonder why you became a nurse. but my suggestion is please do not let your interactions with the people you work with determine whether you should be a nurse or not.

you don't know anything about your co-workers really. you might find, once you start feeling like you are on top of your job, that maybe they are the ones who should be rethinking their career options.

or you may realize that they are just as unsure of themselves as you, or just as overwhelmed, or that they are simply doing their best to go with the flow, even if they can't stand the job or the people they work with either.

please stop comparing yourself to other nurses, a lot of us don't get out of work on time. in fact it's one of the top admin/nurse issues of disagreement. they'll be pushing you to get out, you know you have a job to do and you do it.

so welcome to the club!

mazy - you are sooo right. focus on the job and the patients, and the rest will work out eventually. i hope my post didn't give people the impression that i wanted to make 5 new best friends at work. i just wanted to have some friendly people. actually some of the nurses who give me report from the previous shift are very nice and fun to be with, but i can't work their shift. guess i'm just stuck with the grumpy ones.

thanks also for the comforting advice about not comparing myself to other nurses. i've always been like this, and i need to smack myself in the face and stop. thanks for welcoming me to the club, but i'm not so sure i want to be a member....:confused:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Rehab/LTC.
in any new job the first 6 months can feel like you will never get it. then it seems all of a sudden (at least with me) i seem to have a handle and know what to do. then i start to get bored! the only place that i have found that i never reached the stage of boredom is home health. but that is another story.

in response to your question- yes, i think you are normal. it takes a year of full time nursing to feel competent. speed takes longer, and some of us are more thorough than others so we are naturally slower. it is so hard not to do things the way you were taught. reality shock is when you realize that you cannot do things the way you are taught and finish in 8 hours. you can only do the best you can, make priorities, and pray/hope for the best.

friends are another thing. sometimes it takes a while if others have been there for a time. in my position i have been there for almost 4 years and i am still not in with the cliques. it is just like high school. i have one friend- one. i am lonely but i do my work and focus on that and my outside life.

try to put in a year, if you don't feel better then maybe start looking. i have worked in a lot of places and each one has a different culture. the one thing i have found is that you can get through anything, any stress if you are working with a good team and you feel like a part of the team. that is why the military tries so hard to build team spirit. some of the worst work environments can be great places to work because of the people. if you don't have that even a tolerable work environment can be miserable. you are not alone.

i agree with the previous poster- smile, be kind, especially to the aides who can sometimes be very sensitive to any perceived negativity towards them. ask about their lives- how was your holiday? what are you doing for christmas? that kind of thing. i made great friends with the aides on my last job and those two were such gems! they both even bought me small gifts at christmas- made me cry! as little as they make they got me gifts, of all people. i miss them more than the nurses.

nursemarion - i'm so glad you mentioned the fact that it takes a year for a full time nurse to feel competent. i'm only part-time, and i think that may be part of my problem. i can't really get a good "flow" going when my days are staggered...on for 2...off for 3...etc. and your comments about different cultures...brilliant! that is so true. i met a nurse a week ago that came up from another floor to fill in, and she knew all about nurse bigmouth, as well as the whole negative atmosphere on my floor. she enthusiastically told me i should move to her floor, they work so much more as a cohesive team. i am considering requesting the move, but don't know if i can. one other thing you mentioned: the aides. i usually don't talk to them unless it's work related because i'm so busy i can barely breath...but i'm going to have to find time. once they see i am not a snobby rn who thinks she is above doing "aides work" they may have a different opinion. thanks so much for your input, it means so much to me!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion