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I'm doing my first LEAD todayyyy!

Recovery   (1,096 Views 5 Comments)
by MizChelleRN MizChelleRN (Member)

MizChelleRN has 12 years experience .

4,311 Visitors; 94 Posts

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I am doing my first lead today!!!! It is a mini-lead followed by a discussion chosen by the speaker and I am nervous as heckkkk. So weird since I usually am pretty comfortable making comments at meetings or just speaking my mind... :) Doing my first full length lead Sept 13th 8pm....I am almost 18 months sober and for a long time turned down the oppurtunity to share because "I was never ready" but really it was all crap, I just have this disease that tells me no one wants to hear my story, my story can't help anyone, crappp like that.

I'm just going to turn it over, ask God to speak through me, and I'm sure it will be beautiful and perfect. Anyone wish to share their experiences leading? THANKS! love to all! xo Michelle

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catmom1 works as a MDS Coordinator.

10,500 Visitors; 337 Posts

Dear MizChelleRN-

You will do great. The term "lead" is not one I have heard in my 12 step rooms but I understand that you will be telling at least some of your story in front of a group of recovering people.

I have chaired many, many meetings over the years and have formally spoken a couple of times. I know that if you speak from the heart, you will say something helpful to at least one person there.

One of the big lies that our addiction(s) tell us is that we are alone, unique, & the only ones who have ever felt, thought, or done certain things. Not so! :no: That is what is so helpful about sharing our stories.

We learn that we are not alone!

Go get 'em MizChelleRN and come back & tell us how well it went.

Catmom :paw:

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MizChelleRN has 12 years experience.

4,311 Visitors; 94 Posts

Thanks Catmom!!!!! Today was such a wonderful and blessed day. The mini lead went pretty well. I feel like I forgot to say at least half of what I meant to say, but I am pretty sure that everything I needed to say and got some really great feedback/support. It truly pushed my recovery to the next level. Riding that wave tonight! Thanks everyone here for the love too. xo

I'm curious that you said "lead" is not a familiar term in your area! Just wondering if that is across the board? yep, you got the drift....speaker meetings, leads, one hour to tell your story, get some feedback/thanks and thats the whole meeting. This one was a mini-lead followed by discussion, so I kept "my story" to a minimum, around 20 min or so. Mini lead/discussion is a relatively new format in my area.

How is everyone else's recovery going? I think I need to find a new sponsor. Ugh my current one is kind of unavailable, doesn't always return my calls, I dunno. I could be more proactive myself but our schedules are opposite...she's a schoolteacher and does her meetings/program in the evenings and I do day meetings/program bc my kids are in school. That is subject to change of course, if I ever get a jobbbbb. Yes, there is some developments on that front, but I'm sick of jinxing myself and telling everyone, haha, so I'm going to wait. But I am scheduled for an "aptitude" test next Tuesday morning....I think I am going to land this one.

Stepwise, I've been through the 8th and 9th now and am working the 10th-12th but am considering going back and hitting up the 4th....feeling kind of resentful lately, sorry for myself at times, frustrated....until today that is! Giving that lead was the best thing for my recovery. I feel so, so, so great today. Love to all. xo Michelle

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michigooseBSN works as a elementary school nurse.

4,319 Visitors; 201 Posts

MixChelleRN Congratulations on telling your story for the first time. That's always the scariest. Here in Massachusetts (and in Florida where I have often vacationed) we call it "speaking", "sharing" or "telling your story". As far as forgetting things that you meant to share. I was told very early on to just ask my higher power to help me when I share and then not worry about anything omitted. After all, I've told my story two to three times a year for over 18 years and I figure by now I've covered everything even if not all at once. I got sober at age 51 and there's no way I could cover that many years in 20 minutes. It's great to hear that you're really working the steps. That's the way to a meaningful serene recovery, I believe.

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jackstem has 34 years experience and works as a Addiction Counselor, peer advisor.

14,751 Visitors; 670 Posts

Way to go Michelle!!!! That first one is always a little nerve racking. Way to step out of that comfort zone and reach out to the addict who still suffers. Sorry I missed your post before you spoke. Glad it went well.

Lead is used pretty frequently in AA. I've been to meetings in a little over 35 states and they called them "leads" as well. Whatever they call them, they can be a huge help for the person who shares. I heard a speaker in Seattle recently say "You know you're moving forward in recovery when you begin thinking about others rather than yourself." I think there's some truth in that statement. Early recovery has to be about self. We have to learn all sorts of things about the disease, our unhealthy coping mechanisms that may have led to poor choices, and to recognize cues and triggers and how to deal with them in a healthy fashion. The next big step in recovery is reaching out to other addicts. You just took that step. Way to go!!

jack

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