I'm not that big a jerk!

[screwielouie]

Ok so I am a prankster by nature and not to toot my own horn (HONK HONK) but I can even surprise myself sometimes with the ideas I come up with. There I was, an ED tech in Colorado. I was working in a moderately busy emergency center in the mountains. Across the street was a convenience store which we frequented on our far and few between breaks. Now the ladies I worked with were jokers too. They would often but unsuccessfully try to make me blush. One day during a slow streak in our ED, I announced that I was off to the store and asked if there was anything anyone wanted. Lottie jokingly said "yes, tampons" to which I responded "done" as I asked for any other orders. Traci our xray tech (who pulled a joke on me earlier) asked for a pack of M&Ms. I made my way to the store and got the tampons and informed the clerk they would be returned promptly. Being a regular customer, she trusted me and didn't charge me. I put the M&Ms on the counter and then POOF!!!! my shoulder devil in tiny scrubs appeared on my shoulder and stated that the package said if you find a pack of M&Ms with all purple candy, you win 2,000,000 Yen which is like several hundred thousand US dollars.

So I patted him on the head as I bought out the M&M section and a tube of glue. The cashiere was in tears laughing as I stood aside and opened them all, carefully sorting out all the purple. I put them all into a carefully opened pack and ever so lightly glued it shut on the bottom. The cashiere coud not stop laughing at me as I found my way back to the ED. Lottie smiled at me as I tossed her a box of tampons and then turned beat red as she was with a client at the desk. I asked where Traci was and they said she was in her office. Just before I rounded the corner, my pesky shoulder angel in little tiny scrubs appeared and said "Louie, come with me" as he snapped his fingers. There we were, in the ED and we watched an alternate me as I again walked in the door and tossed Lottie her tampons and walked into Traci's office and gave her the candy. A moment later, the ED was filled with a scream and shrill laughter as Traci jumped on top of the nurses' station with both middle fingers proud and erect from both fists. In a rage of angry laughter she went down the chain of command exclaiming "Screw you, you, you Oh and definitely you!! @#%! you! and Kiss my &$@.

In the next scene, she swan dived onto the charge nurse who broke Traci's fall onto the hard floor but was unfortunately injured herself as Traci used her as a trampoline with bones and slid out the front door using a gurney as a surf board after giving Doctor G. a wedgy knocking him over the crash cart.

In horror, I said to my shoulder angel "Please let me out!" And I snapped out of it standing again in front of Traci's office. I walked in still terrified from the shoulder angel induced acid trip as I pocketed the M&Ms and asked Traci if she wanted M&Ms with or without peanuts. She told me which kind to which I responded "OK I will be right back" I went back to the store and told the cashiere that I had changed my mind as I returned with the candy and the un opened box of tampons. Again laughing hysterically, she asked if she could have the pack of purple M&Ms for her nephew. I agreed and bought the last pack of peanut M&Ms. I told Traci a few days later what I had done. She turned pale and said "Louie, I am so glad you didn't. I might have quit". I was relieved that I am not that much of a jerk.

[jmgrn65, RN]

aawww but what a good joke it would have been... oh well you probably did the right thing...

[BernieRN]

Awesome story!!!!:chuckle

[screwielouie]

Why thank you. You are too kind. I will have more up when I have time. I look forward to your future reviews.

[banditrn]

Oh, louie - :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle Back in the 'old days' of our ICU nite shift, we had a going thing between us and the nite respiratory therapist.

One morning, that same angel that talked to you was sitting on MY shoulder!! It was time for her to come in to do her AM EKG's, so I enlisted the aide of one of the other nurses - when the resp. girl came in, the other nurse was to get her over to the desk to talk.

I came out of a patient room, carrying a urine graduate, with apple juice and crumbled up crackers in it. With a worried face, I carried the 'urine' to the other nurse and said "Look at this pee!" Of course, she says yucky!!

Then I smelled it, made a face, and had the other nurse smell it! We both said 'nasty'!! By this time, the resp. gal says "Well, don't stick your nose in there!!"

So I then said "Wonder what it TASTES like?" and took a big swig!:chuckle

The gal slapped her hand over her mouth and RAN for the bathroom. She was mad at me for a long time.

[screwielouie]

Funny you should mention that. That's one of my favorite gags. Warm apple juice in a (scribbled name) specimen container. When the other nurse says toss it, I say "no sense in wasting it" and down the hatch Hahahaha. Another good one is concord grape juice in a red top blood tube LOLOLOL I made a nurse literally puke with that. We must be related.

[chaosRN, ASN, RN]

Another good one is concord grape juice in a red top blood tube LOLOLOL I made a nurse literally puke with that. We must be related.

HAHAHA I have to remember that one!!!!

[lisamc1RN, LPN]

OMG! These are hilarious! I've got to take lessons from you all! I would never come up with something like that on my own! LOL!

[screwielouie]

OMG! These are hilarious! I've got to take lessons from you all! I would never come up with something like that on my own! LOL!

Well Miss Lisa, Lesson #1, If it makes you cringe, do it to someone else. #2 If it grosses you out or freaks you out or scares you in any way, NEVER let anyone know. This gives the illusion of invincibility. Remember, pain is weakness leaving the body. #3 if people would never expect it, DO it. It crumbles their sense of security and removes their situational awareness thereby allowing a flank attack while at the same time, making them think twice before they screw with you. #4 ALWAYS keep a smartass grin on your face when you look around. Make eye contact with everyone and smile. This makes them think that they have been discovered and their guilty conscience by very human nature will tell on them making a wonderful deterrent to counter pranks. This also makes supervisors think you are unstable thus inspiring them to carefully choose their words. #5 If you see any suspicious activity with people staring at you or hear their voices lower when you near them, DO NOT ignore this, you are not delusional, they lowered their voice for a reason!! SOOOO when you see this, whisper to them "I am WAY ahead of you amatures" Then walk away laughing but walk without swinging your arms and staring at a fixed point in front of you. This alone gets attention. #6 If you are going to play a prank, make sure you have the balls to go through with it or do not attempt it. If it is embarassing or painful, master your poker face. You will be surprised how little others can take. If they break first, you win!!!! #7 If you can think it up, you can do it. Just take into account these factors: How much do I cherish my job, is it a safety risk, Is this TOO out of character for me, do I have enough time and am I patient enough. Patience and planning is the key to success. Remember 1 shot 1 kill. #8 Unless you NEED outside help in the clean delivery of your prank, NEVVVVVVVER! tell anyone else. Loose lips sink ships. Even if they're good intentioned, the very thought that they posess a secret is more of a high than drugs and has more obvious outward signs which although involuntary, are clear. Keep it to yourself!! People will most likely see the aftermath of your plot. Most important #9 always be willing to accept the consequenses and NEVER sell out your accomplices. This is both bad practice and unethical. Keeping the faith allows for future trust and help when needed. Good luck. Any questions, ask.

Louie