I am so tired and so scared of a burn out

[padawan42]

So I have been a CNA all of three months and I am steadily becoming more and more miserable. I am pretty sure it is the facility I work for, but from what I understand, my facility is a lot like the rest around me in Virginia. I know 4 girls from my CNA class that have all quit at least 1 or 2 jobs already, and one gave it up completely.

I took this job so I could get experience before I start nursing school next fall. I am working my butt off and taking classes and at the end of the day I am just so tired. I'm becoming a zombie and I'm worried that this job may lead me to not wanting to pursue my BSN. My mind is set on nursing, but my spirit is beginning to break.

I work full-time at a rehab and LTC facility. We are extremely understaffed and underpaid. I have anywhere from 14-22 patients a night for 9.80 an hour. My average is 17 or 18 a night. I have only had 14 patients twice. I am a floater, so I go back and forth between the LTC unit and the rehab unit. I am new so I always get the unwanted and difficult halls(mostly total care, 2 aid assists, lifts, dementia, schizophrenics, etc). I work 3-11 shift and I rarely leave on time.

I did love this job. It was great. Everyone I worked with was for teamwork and had fun, even when patients were difficult. I still love my patients but my co-workers are getting to me. They all talk about me behind my back, saying I'm "incompetent", I "need too much help", I "need to go back to CNA school" and other women come tell me what people say to try and start drama. I've even had patients tell me which CNAs don't like me. When I'm available to help I will, I also will step in if I see multiple call lights going off. It's not like I never help them or anything. I don't care if they talk about me, but it bugs me when they refuse to help me with a 2-assist patient. Or when they complain about coming to help me and say things in front of patients about me. Almost every CNA there talks down to me and makes me feel subhuman, except for the LPNs, RNs and like 2 CNAs. I just laugh it off and ignore them, even when I can hear them talk about me, but it's really starting to effect my work and my patients.

I talked to the DON about staffing issues and was wondering if I was doing my job right. She said she had no complaints about my work or anything. She said all the nurses had given me awesome reviews. I didn't say anything about all the other gossip about me from other CNAs but I broke down crying. I just couldn't hold it in. I told her I just felt like I wasn't good enough because I ask for too much help. I also feel like I'm not giving enough care to my patients. She consoled me and said I was doing the right thing about asking for help with my total care patients

I love my patients and I try to do everything I can to make them feel better and get well or for the LTC residents, I make them comfortable. Having them thank me and getting a smile out of the old man that hates everyone except me keeps me there, but this job is really breaking me mentally and physically.

I put my request in for part-time(every other wknd) because I'm starting a full-time class load on the 24th of August and according to the scheduler they don't have PRN spots available (but that's a lie since we always go without 2 or 3 CNAs a night!) She also made me go part-time early for some weird reason because I had requested off the weekend before classes start. But I'm really not sure if I should work there anymore. No one is helpful and there is no communication between staff. Patients are neglected because the CNA/LPN/RN ratio is out of control. Our HR director walked out. The corporate company is in the middle of a lawsuit with the DOJ over medicare fraud. The nurses get mad when we report changes in their patients. I get called in to work almost everyday. I am forced to take breaks. Ugh. So many bad qualities to this place.

Sorry this turned into a rant but I'm really feeling defeated and like an outcast. Sorry this turned out to be a rant but I am just tired of all the cliquiness of these CNAs.

Maybe someone can shed some light on their experiences with cattiness. I am really trying my best and I don't feel like I'm good enough. Should I find another part-time job or stick it out for another 3-6 months so I can have at least 6 months-1 year experience at the same facility? I don't like to quit anything that I start but I'm trying not to burn out. I'm so close to not showing up anymore. I am so stressed out.

[NB741]

Don't torture yourself. Get out of there. Find a new job with better patient-staff ratio. Sounds like the place is falling apart soon anyway.

Also, in terms of the CNA clique, it's unfortunately very common. As a nurse, I find many CNAs miserable and mean. I think it's because of the demand of the job although it's not an excuse. I have worked with some wonderful CNAs although it's quite rare. I would say, stand your ground. Be professional, nice, but firm. Face them if they bully you in a professional and mature manner.

I have had CNAs lied, manipulated, and bullied me when I started working as a nurse because I was young and new. But I stood my ground and faced them. It all went away after that.

[Missingyou, CNA]

I agree! Stand your ground and stick up for yourself. Do it in a professional way. If you can hear them talking about you rather than ignore it, in a calm but firm tone say something like "that doesn't sound like team work to me". or "if you have something to discuss with or about me, I think it best if we sit down together and talk about it".

~You could even say something like (in a light hearted tone) "sheesh, cut me a little slack, will ya?! I'm a float and have only been doing this 3 months, :) .....did you need some help with Mr. ____?"

I know it's hard sometimes, but showing tears because you're frustrated at work will be viewed as weakness. Avoid it at all costs!! Excuse yourself and walk away if you are having trouble fighting back the tears. It's a tough world out there!

I think going part time will help you. Less of the cattiness to deal with.

You mention that you are a float. That is one of the most difficult positions any CNA can have! You never know what to expect and never really have a routine! Give yourself credit for being able to handle it for as long as you have.

Remember: If the nurses and the DON don't have a problem with your job performance than you have nothing to worry about and the opinions of the other CNA's don't matter! Keep telling yourself that!!

Hang in there. You got this!

[padawan42]

I have been looking for other jobs but to no avail(yet!) Had a couple of people put in a good word at a hospital that they work at. Not sure if I'll get hired because I don't have much experience but it's worth a shot.

I actually had a talk with one of the women who said I was incompetent and needed to go back to CNA school. I told her I heard what she said and didn't think it was right to talk about me in front of people. I said if she had a problem with my work ethic then tell me in private instead of calling me out. She was mad that I asked for help while she was gossiping with a family member about another CNA. She apologized and said she was having a bad day. I told her that I wouldn't stand for it. I also said I didn't want bad blood between us because if she scratched my back I'd scratch hers. She has been cordial ever since.

It's a few other girls that are the problem. It's not really everyone there. But there's one girl in particular lies about me and some girls believe it. Others know she's a liar and a backstabber and choose to ignore it, but the next time I hear something I will stand my ground and be professional.

I have been so nice to her because I was thinking she'd stop after seeing that I'm a hard worker. Like maybe she'd respect me. I like to give people the benefit of doubt. And I really didn't want to throw anyone under the bus for telling me what she's said.

Thanks for your advice. I will have a professional and mature talk with her about some of the gossip I've been overhearing. It's really like high school.

[padawan42]

I agree! Stand your ground and stick up for yourself. Do it in a professional way. If you can hear them talking about you rather than ignore it, in a calm but firm tone say something like "that doesn't sound like team work to me". or "if you have something to discuss with or about me, I think it best if we sit down together and talk about it".

~You could even say something like (in a light hearted tone) "sheesh, cut me a little slack, will ya?! I'm a float and have only been doing this 3 months, :) .....did you need some help with Mr. ____?"

I know it's hard sometimes, but showing tears because you're frustrated at work will be viewed as weakness. Avoid it at all costs!! Excuse yourself and walk away if you are having trouble fighting back the tears. It's a tough world out there!

I think going part time will help you. Less of the cattiness to deal with.

You mention that you are a float. That is one of the most difficult positions any CNA can have! You never know what to expect and never really have a routine! Give yourself credit for being able to handle it for as long as you have.

Remember: If the nurses and the DON don't have a problem with your job performance than you have nothing to worry about and the opinions of the other CNA's don't matter! Keep telling yourself that!!

Hang in there. You got this!

Thanks so much for your advice. This made me feel a lot better. I am going to stand up to that girl in a calm and professional, but firm manner. I can't take anymore disrespect from someone who is supposed to be my teammate.

Like I said before in the previous comment to NB741, I did stand up to another woman who talked bad about me in front of our entire unit, including the charge nurse! I was so upset that night I hid in the day room after my rounds (this happened almost 1 month after I started). Since then she has apologized, respected me and quit being rude to me.

I thought this cattiness was just like earning my stripes or something, but this other girl has taken it too far by talking to patients and other staff about me, even spreading lies. Another woman (who is best friends with the backstabber) just reported me last night to the DON. I think she was just doing her job but it was bogus and when the DON and the charge nurse questioned me about it they just laughed and said they were sorry for bothering me but they had to check it out. (A patient, who most likely has Munchhausen Syndrome and anorexia made a claim that I threw things at her and told her to clean herself up because the nurse and I were too busy.) Everyone knows she constantly complains about service and her pain killers. But luckily they knew I would never do that.

I tried so hard not to cry in front of the DON that day, but my nerves got to me and I let some tears slide out. I didn't bawl or anything but I was just so worked up after feeling like a failure and like I was hurting my patients because of the high patient to nurse ratio. I mainly was upset because I felt like I was neglecting my patients. It's so hard to care for 17+ people in one night! She was very understanding about it and said that she could tell I care a lot for my patients but try not to beat myself up over it. She always tells me I'm doing a great job and likes how I'm always smiling. That makes me feel good. But I will never let a tear go in front of her again! Good advice.

At the end of the day, I'm so tired and worn thin but I really love my patients. I like the excitement of going in and not ever knowing what to expect. I like hearing my 107 year old patient laugh after I tell a corny joke. Or the woman who tells me stories from her childhood while I change her. Or when I have time at dinner to sit with the hospice patient and listen to her fears and comfort her by holding her hand. Or see the old grumpy man crack a smile when I come in his room. And especially when a patient says they missed me being their aide. I love it. I feel like I belong there. It's the patients who keep me there. I just wish my other coworkers would lighten up. And I wish that they'd hire more people so I can have more time with my patients!

Sorry I like to ramble, Thanks for your kind words. It's really made me more optimistic about this situation.

[Missingyou, CNA]

At the end of the day, I'm so tired and worn thin but I really love my patients. I like the excitement of going in and not ever knowing what to expect. I like hearing my 107 year old patient laugh after I tell a corny joke. Or the woman who tells me stories from her childhood while I change her. Or when I have time at dinner to sit with the hospice patient and listen to her fears and comfort her by holding her hand. Or see the old grumpy man crack a smile when I come in his room. And especially when a patient says they missed me being their aide. I love it. I feel like I belong there. It's the patients who keep me there. I just wish my other coworkers would lighten up. And I wish that they'd hire more people so I can have more time with my patients!

/QUOTE]

^^ This ^^ is what will make you the awesome CNA that you are! ^^This^^ is why we do what we do. The cattiness NEVER goes away with any job where there is more than 3 women working in one area...."IT'S THE TRUTH!" So, no matter where you work there will be issues. Even in home care where there will only be you and the patient, there will likely be issues with family....it's just a fact of life.

One job skill that you are learning (and it seems you are learning well)is how to grow a thick skin and a back bone...you will need it if you ever become a nurse! :)

Sometimes it's best to find another job when you are constantly working short staff with a hostile work environment but, it does seem that you have the support of your supervisors. Eventually, there will be a turn a round in both staffing and in the resident census and things will be better for you and every one else.

~Sounds like you really do have this under control! Keep at it.

[Valcorie34, BSN, MSN, RN]

I agree find a better spot. CNA's need to be a team. Find a spot willing to help you improve, a team who has your back and a facility willing to help you as you are in school.

[tiptip7]

Wow. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I work in a rehab hospital and it can be VERY busy, especially since we are short staffed right now but I work with some great people on the night shift. We have alot of electronic charting to do as well. We have good team work and help each other with the hard and heavy patients. Some of the nurses will even help with cleaning and getting patients dressed IF they have time and the patient is not too time consuming. Even the nurses that don't want to help will if you just ask. We have a "no man left behind" policy(the cna's) so we all try to leave together. I even had two of my coworkers come back inside after leaving to see if I needed help because my car was still there.

I said that just to say that what you're dealing with is not like that everywhere. There are some great people in this profession and some bad ones but we are going to run into both. Just hang on and keep looking. If there is a staffing agency near you that hires cna's, maybe you could try that just as some extra work. It will give you an opportunity to go to different facilities and you can decide if you like or not and if it is something you could do on a regular basis. If you don't like it then you don't have to go back, no loss. I also work for an agency and i've been a couple of places that I will never go back to. I went somewhere this weekend and they gave me 25 patients and 18 of them were incontinent. I was like oh heck no, yall won't see me again! But hey, at least I know now lol.

Just hang in there. Despite the fact that we are looked down on by SOME, it is a very rewarding profession if you have the right heart and the patients that you help who cannot do for themselves are usually very grateful. Just keep looking. I hope it gets better for you. :)

[BBboy]

The team you work amongst is definitely 50% of the job i'd say regardless of where you work. If you are unable to work well with the current team you have it'd be best to find another place to work as when things start to go awry and get crazy you'll need supportive and competent workers to lean on.