I think I'm being treated unfairly...

[mzattitude]

Hi. I'm new to this website. I wanted to know if anyone out there could please take the time to give me some advice as to what I could do about the situation I am having with my nursing department.

I am a first semester nursing student. I have clinicals once a week at a local hospital. I am currenly in my 9th week. The first six weeks of clinicals were pretty harsh. Our nursing instructor was new to teaching and she would yell at us about everything. She ended up resigning the sixth week, because everyone in my group, including myself, complained about her verbally abusive behavior.

During our short time with our instructor, she didn't let us ask the other nurses on the floor questions because she was worried about us recieving the "wrong" information and we were under her license. She wouldn't let us do anything. Last week, I finally learned how to clear an IV machine for I and O's, which everyone else in clins learned how to do that during their first few weeks at the hospital.

There is so much more that I could go on about, but the point is is that she ended up resigning. She was a very, very smart lady, but her stress tolerance for teaching was very low. She always forgot that we were first semester nursing students. Not only that, but she went as far as yelling at us in our patients rooms. I especially had a problem with her. She was really mean too me. She acted like she didn't like me and made me feel really stupid. She literally made me feel like I didn't want to go on anymore. Her words were very harsh.

The same week that she resigned, my niece ended up passing away (R.I.P. Mya--I love u). The following week--I ended up missing my 3 hour lab, mandatory practice, my lecture, and my clinical. I ended up having to call everyone to let them know that I was taking care of my nieces funeral arrangments and that I wasn't going to be in class. Contacting my clinical instructor was a little different, because I ended up leaving her a voicemail on her telephone--letting her know that I wasn't going to be at clinical that day because my nieces funeral was the morning of my clinical.

I ended up leaving the old clinical instructor (the one who resigned) the message. I wasn't aware that she had resigned. My nieces funeral was between Wed and Thurs the week that she died, because we were unsure if we were going to come up with the money any sooner. We ended up having her funeral on that Thurs, so I contacted my instructor that morning.

I guess my new clinical instructor sent me an email Wednesday night (night before the funeral) informing me of my old instructor resignation. The last thing on my mind was to check my email. My sister just lost her baby and i a niece, checking my email wasn't an option. I actually didn't end up checking my email until Saturday and realized that I probably did a no-no, because my clinical instructor probably thought that I did a no-call, no-show. I wasn't worried about it though, because all of my other teachers new my situation because I talked to everyone, so I'm sure she new what was going on.

Well, the following Monday, I get a call from the Assist chair of the nursing dept. asking me why I didn't contact my clinical instructor sooner. I told him that I wasn't aware of the other instructors resignation until that weekend and that I apologize about the inconvience. He told me that I will be getting a write up and that I need to come and see him for a "counseling session"...I agreed and told him that I will come see him. All the while, my new clinical instructor was in the back ground.

Just to give everyone a little insight as to what I was doing about the classes I missed. I ended up making up everything and passed all of my competencies to date with all most perfect scores. On my physical assessment comp., I got a 46/50..and on my med. administration I got a 48/50...

So, sorry to get sidetracked. So, the assistant chair called me on a Monday. I went the whole week making things up and putting in lab time. It was a pain, but I got through it. So that Friday I went to clinical. My new clinical instructor gave me the write up and told me I need to go see the assistant chair. I told her Ok...

That whole night started off kinda funky. She told me that I couldn't pass meds, because she doesn't know how I work. I was totally fine with that. I understood where she was coming from. She ended up assigning me with one of her original students that has been with her the whole semester. She basically told the girl to watch over me and answer any questions I might have.

Well, I ended up getting offended by this girl the nurse signed me up with. I didn't come out and say anything, but this girl literally stood over the whole time I was doing my patients vital signs. I know how to do vitals. If there is one thing I know how to do--it's take vital signs and I know all the normal ranges for them. That whole night, I tried asking my clinical instructor questions, but she would blow me off and tell me that she has other students to help, yet I dont' think I spoke with her but 10 minutes that whole entire night. I felt like I was getting the silent treatment, like she was just blowing me off.

I was just happy for the night to be over with.

Not only was she acting like I was "unimportant", but she told me that I wasn't going to getting a midterm evaluation because she said taht I haven't been with her long enough. I didn't come out and say anything to her then, but when I came home I was a little upset that I wasn't going to be getting a mid term eval. How am I supposed to know wht I need to work on to improve my skills as a nurse?

Well, that very next day after my first clin with her I get this very long--insulting email. Her is her exact email...Not one thing in it is positive...Not only that, but I didn't work with her the whole entire night. She claims that I dont' know how to drain a foley cath, but I've known how to do that since my first two weeks of clinicals. I can 100% drain a foley cath. What makes me mad about her email is that she's literally saying things that are absolutely and 100% false. Not only that, but she is passing judgement on me. Here is the email...

I deleted the names for privacy.

I have been thinking about your performance on Friday. I do understand about your insecurity with a new instructor, but there are certain items I would expect a student to know by mid-term.

1. You were not comfortable with taking vitals and doing a physical assessment on your patient. You were very attentive to your patient, but did not complete the physical assessment by the end of the evening. Physical assessments are completed as soon as possible since you never know what is going to happen with the patient later on and you need to know the patient's physical baseline to pick up on suttle changes.

2. You had a difficult time charting, even with vitals. This was week #7 and I would have expected you to have this skill down.

3. When I asked if you have ever read a Kardex before, you looked at me like the Kardex was a foreign item. It seemed like you have never learned how to organize your time and develop your patient's plan of care.

4. You did not know what "HS care" was. I have to question what your clinical group was doing to get these patient's ready for bed. It is standard to do HS care by washing their face and brushing their teeth before bedtime. You were unsure what to do. Also, turning a patient every two hours with Monica's patient seemed to be difficult for you (such as, having no idea what to do).

5. You were also very weak with doing routine I and Os. You did not know how to empty a foley catheter or clear an IV pump. This should have been part of your nightly routine at the end of your shift.

6. I am also concerned with your thought process with the sulfa allergy and clonidine for the person's blood pressure. You were very anxious and it appeared as though there was an emergency with your patient's blood pressure. After reviewing your patient's blood pressure, it was not even close to the paramaters. I do have to say good job with looking up the medication and seeing that there is a potential effect with sulfa allergies.

7. You seem very very anxious. Unfortunately, people can sense this. You need to feel a little bit more comfortable in the clinical setting and present a aire of calmness and professionalism. Also, please do not interrupt when other people are talking. This was another issue. Everyone has something important to say/ask, and I am only one person. Please be kind to your other classmates.

The reason for this email is to give you an evaluation of your performance from last week. I would expect you to be much farther along. I expect alot of my clinical group, but give them all the opportunities to learn and get them ready for next semester. If you would like to talk about these items, I would be more than happy to talk with you before Friday's clinical. I will be expecting you to be able to perform these basic skills without difficulty this coming Friday (10-10-08).

She didn't work with me the whole night. And she is saying this. I understand that I may not be the most outgoing person in the world, but I am not a mean person at all. if anything, I let people walk over me..which is why I am coming to allnurses for some help.

So, I get this email.

I ended up taking this to the assistant chair alogn with the write up they tried to give me. I say try because I explained to him that it was not my fault that I didn't knwo about the resignation of my old instructor until one night before clinical. He ended up agreeing with me and pitched the write up. My family was telling me that I should've made a copy of the write up ,because under the situation I was in, they should've understood enough NOT to even think of writing me up.

sorry if I am writing un clear or mispellign words..I'm just trying to get this all out.

Well...I also showed the assistant chari the email ^ the very same one that I showed u all and he told me not to worry about it and to see how the next clinical goes. I told him that her email sounds very condescending and that she was being kinda mean to me. He just said that he would have a talk with her because they have a very good relationship. He also told me that if need be they would come up with some kind of plan for me to get me through the "things" that I need to work on....??? What things is he talking about?? Of course I could always learn more and expand my knowledge, but I am at the same level as all of my peers, so I didn't fully understand what he meant by that? I was happy to hear that he was willing to work with me--and not just give up on me, but I really didn't quite understand what he meant???

Not only that, but he told me that my previous clinical instructor siad that I wasn't "safe" with patients....Because the last patient I had with her used the bathroom and I didin't catch it in time and by the time I did catch it, our instructor was walking around checking on our patients and she got really mad at me for not changing him sooner. That was when my old instructor literally yelled at me and was snatching things from me and it made me run out of the room balling...She did it to other students too..which was why she ended up resigning. I felt horrible. but the other students were telling me that I am learning and that she over reacted...i tell u what, I learned from that experience. I will always check on my patient and make sure they are not soiled...I am very attentive to my patients. that's not the point though. the point is is that the old instructor said some things about me. I know for a fact that she said or wrote those things becasue she probably new I was one of the people who complained about her. I wasn't the only one though--almost everyon in my group did.

So anyway...sorry to get off track. I was talking to the assist chair and he told me to just go through the next clinical and he'll see where I am...

I did...My new clinical instructor ended up not being their last week because seh was sick. There was someone new. This new person gave me an attitude right away...she acted like she didn't want to help and it made me feel like crap. even though she didn't help me, i still asked the other nurses questions and i thought I did really good last clinical. My patient ended up being mobile. I don't want to get into the specifics, but I was really attentive to my patient. I charted very well too. I charted everything I did for my patient. My charting skills are really good now, becuse I worked on them last week. Charting wasn't something that we really did with my old instructor. I thought I did great..In fact, I know that I did great. yeah, there are things that I am learning still and will constantly be learning....working as a nurse is a never ending book. U will always learn something..whether it be something technical or just something about yourself or someone else. u will always learn something new everyday.

Well, at the end of the night we all went home. My patient that night ended up being someone who needed little assistance. I haven't had a total care patient yet.

well...I ended up going to see my clinical instructor today in her office. I told her that i was going to slide my physical assessment under her door so that I could get it back on Friday to see what I need to work on and if I'm wording things correctly.

we're not charting our p.e.'s but we are still doing them...

So anyways, when I went to go see her I asked her what the substitute clinical instructor said about me las tweek. She told me that she siad I acted like i was confused????? WHAT?? What is giong on??? I don't understand what she means by me acting confused??

I asked her if she was going to watch me so that she could see what I do, but she just replied with a "I'll be around". To me, that sounds like she is blowing me off. Not only that, but she siad that I need to work on skin care, so she is going to give me a really hard patient this friday. She told me that she doesn't want me "killing" anyone though.. What kind of thing is that?

That is just insane for her to even say anything like that. OMG...I'm really starting to feel confused because of how I'm getting treated.

i know that I did a very good job last week of takign care of my patient. They are really making me feel like crap. I don't get it?? What am I doing wrong?? they are not telling me what I am diong wrong?? THye are telling me very short undescriptive things that I am "acting" like....I am really hurt by this. because when I am in clinical--I am being brused off, like I don't matter..I am not getting the hel that I need as a nursing student to actually suceed in this program. I am getitng the run around and am being judged and treated unfairly.

my instructor told me that she was going to give me someone

Whta do u think I should do?

I'm thinking about goign to the chair for answers, but I don't want to stir anything up. All I want is for ANYONE to show that they care about me and my future. I care about my future, but when the people who are helping andtrying to get you through nursing school act like they don't give a crap--it's kind of hard to keep the motivation to want to suceed.

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

Your school sounds like a train wreck. Sorry you're going through this.

[caliotter3]

Your post thoroughly describes treatment that appears to indicate that your days are numbered. Your instructor's passive aggressive behavior is an obvious giveaway. Without any other input, I would advise you to get an appointment to see the dept chair as soon as possible. You are actively being weeded out and I believe you are aware that this is what is happening. This is common in nursing school. Don't go down without a fight. Your side of the story needs to reach the head of the dept. Don't leave anything out when you talk to her. At the very least, there is a visible prejudice, or a personality conflict at work here. Or the clinical instructor has labeled you and the others as the cause for someone losing their job and she is determined that you won't be a threat to her. Best done by eliminating you. See the dept. head, ASAP. Good luck.

[mzattitude]

Your school sounds like a train wreck. Sorry you're going through this.

What do u think I should do? I'm really scared about not making it through this semester, all because my clinical instructor seems to think that I am "confused"??? I don't get it? They are not coming out and telling me what I am doing wrong?

From my grades and my competencies, you would never know I was having this issue. Which is bugging me, because they are not telling me what I am doing wrong.

Should I get a lawyer??

[mzattitude]

Your post thoroughly describes treatment that appears to indicate that your days are numbered. Your instructor's passive aggressive behavior is an obvious giveaway. Without any other input, I would advise you to get an appointment to see the dept chair as soon as possible. You are actively being weeded out and I believe you are aware that this is what is happening. This is common in nursing school. Don't go down without a fight. Your side of the story needs to reach the head of the dept. Don't leave anything out when you talk to her. At the very least, there is a visible prejudice, or a personality conflict at work here. Or the clinical instructor has labeled you and the others as the cause for someone losing their job and she is determined that you won't be a threat to her. Best done by eliminating you. See the dept. head, ASAP. Good luck.

I can't help but cry right now. This is not fair. I am in my first semester of clinicals and am being treated so unfairly. I'm really scared.

[mzattitude]

Do I have the right to ask for another clinical group? Especially since I know that she brushing me off and doesn't want to help me suceed?

And I wouldn't say these things, if I am absolutely sure I am being treated differently than everyone else.

[caliotter3]

You need to get your head about you. If you fall apart, then you are playing into the hands of someone who doesn't want you to succeed. Get calm, get your game face together, and don't let this happen to you. You need to face your detractors and show them that you are capable, no matter what is thrown at you, fair or not.

[caliotter3]

I would wait for the dept chair to offer the suggestion of another clinical group. Be prepared with as many specifics as possible to state your case. And for pete's sake, don't break down and cry in front of her. You don't want to be told that you are emotionally unstable. If you go to another group, that would be fine. But be prepared for more of the same. There is nothing that says the pressure to eliminate the trouble makers did not come from the head of the dept. Yes, it happens. Not to disturb you further, but just trying to give you every angle. I know, because I saw all of this at my school.

[mzattitude]

You need to get your head about you. If you fall apart, then you are playing into the hands of someone who doesn't want you to succeed. Get calm, get your game face together, and don't let this happen to you. You need to face your detractors and show them that you are capable, no matter what is thrown at you, fair or not.

I know. It's just hard when the people who are suppposed to be there to help--don't care if u suceed either way.

I am definetely going to the chair tomorrow morning. I just have a hard time expressing myself, without getting all worked up. I don't know what I am going to say. My boyfriend told me that I should go in there and explain myself to them--like I do with him. Which I am going to do. I'm still debating on if I really should go see the head of the dept, or if I should just wait it out? In a way though, it already seems like they have their minds made up, especially when she told me that "she'll be around"..like she knows that I am going to be referred to the nursing lab. I dont' get it...

I think, like u said, that I am being treated like this - to see how far they can take it. Maybe they want to try and make me quit the program, which I will not do, because I am going to be a good nurse. I know that I can do this. My grades even say it.

I really don't know what I want to do yet. I don't want to go to the chair with these thoughts--and make myself look crazy or something. Or portray myself as trying to start something. ?? What should I do?

[mzattitude]

I would wait for the dept chair to offer the suggestion of another clinical group. Be prepared with as many specifics as possible to state your case. And for pete's sake, don't break down and cry in front of her. You don't want to be told that you are emotionally unstable. If you go to another group, that would be fine. But be prepared for more of the same. There is nothing that says the pressure to eliminate the trouble makers did not come from the head of the dept. Yes, it happens. Not to disturb you further, but just trying to give you every angle. I know, because I saw all of this at my school.

Well, actually, it kinda is coming from the assistant chair. He obviously doesn't care either way about what I was emailed or about what has been going on. The only thing he said was that him, my new instructor and my lecturer might come up with a plan to get me through this semester. that's the thing though. I feel as though i am on the same level as everyone else. Like everyone else doesn't walk around like a chicken with their head cut off. There are people in my clinical group, who, I feel are more behind then I am. They might be able to go about things in a calm manner, but just because I have a different personality doesn't mean taht I am not as good as they are.

As far as being "emotionally unstable"...With the mixed treatment that I am getting, how do they expect me to feel? My future is in these peoples hands and if they are not treating me like everyone else, then of course it's going to make me worried.

[mzattitude]

I think that just talking about this is getting me all worked up. I might be over-reacting.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I know that my clinical instructor will be giving me a patient who needs total care this Friday. Does anyone have any pointers as to what will make me better prepared to caring for a patient like this. I am only in my first semester, so we are only doing physical assessments and passing medications. There is only little that I can do for a patient at this point. But I do provide basic care, like moving my patient every two hours, bathing my patient and changing their gowns. As for skin care. I really haven't had a patient that was at risk for pressure ulcers. Is there any advice out there that anyone could give me as far as being more prepared?

[crazyNursingStudent1]

hi

It sounds like you are over reacting to me...you may think that u are doing eveything right but if ur instructor doesnt think so then maybe u should step back and evaluate what you are doing. u should work on ur confidence even if u r not, u need to act it. It is bad to think that someone is picking on u b/c every clinical day u will go in thinking negatively which wont help either....jus trying to help