How is it that every time I ride the elevator to my floor, the gorge rises in my throat and my hands begin to tremor. All I can think about is what will today bring me. Will I be asked to perform a task I don't know how to do? Or will I miss something? I finally reached the point last week where I would whisper these words inside my head..."they can't take away my birthday". Funny huh? My mom used to say that as a joke when I was a child and things seemed overwhelming. So now each time I have to call the doctor who is known for his terse replies, or try something new, or don't know the answer, I repeat those words. It gives me focus and helps take the pressure of performance off my head.It also helps to think that as a new grad in the ICU, I now am striving for mediocrity. Funny to hear that coming from me. I have always been an overachiever, but not in this profession. My first year I KNOW NOTHING! I am reliant on getting hands-on experience and wise teaching from more experienced nurses. So this is my plan, I am going to strive to be mediocre this year, because no new grad nurse in the ICU is going to be stellar. So, I'm writing this post to encourage mediocrity and to let you all know, "they can't take away your birthday".