I ruined the surprise

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I'm a very new grad that recently went to a SVD for a 31 weeker. Chaos would be the perfect word to describe it. An attending physician, a fellow, a new resident, an RRT, my precepting nurse and me plus the 10 other OB staff in the room. Long story short there was very little room for everyone. The baby was born and quickly brought to the warmer and had poor respiratory effort (which was expected). The RRT turned around and asked me to go get the transport bed and a CO2 detector because they were going to intubated. I quickly left the room only to be met with 3 tearful grandmothers begging (sobbing) for information on how the baby was doing. Lost in the adrenaline rush I mumbled "he's doing alright." And one of them screamed "IT'S A BOY!" And I immediately felt like the worst human on the planet. Looking back on it I realize it wasn't my place to say anything (because the baby wasn't yet stable) however it's been a week later and I still get tearful thinking about how I ruined the surprise. I was just hoping other nurses out there had been through a similar situation or if they had any advice on how to deal with families awaiting the birth of a preemie.

Thanks!

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Specializes in NICU.

Don't worry about the surprise. Clearly there were way more important things going on. Next time, I would say that the team is trying to stabilize him and leave it at that. Don't beat yourself up- it's really hard in the moment to answer questions when you are on a mission to get life saving stuff done.

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Specializes in NICU.
Don't worry about the surprise. Clearly there were way more important things going on. Next time, I would say that the team is trying to stabilize him and leave it at that. Don't beat yourself up- it's really hard in the moment to answer questions when you are on a mission to get life saving stuff done.

Agreed. Anyway, what else would you have said even if you'd known it was supposed to be a surprise -- "It's doing all right?"

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Specializes in NICU.

The other day we were expecting 34 week twins to be admitted on the unit and the charge nurse asked me if I was willing to go to the delivery and to help admit. I said sure and went to check in on my mom that was holding and without even THINKING I said "If I don't come back right away I am heading to a delivery to admit 34 week twins." Facepalm! I was just in a rush because it was an unexpected delivery and didn't think. She just said no problem but the next nurse comes on and what does the mom say? "oh the last nurse told me you guys are getting 34 week twins! How are they?" Yeah that was a nurse who is already SUPER crabby and miserable all of the time and she chewed me up one side and down the other saying I would be lucky not to loose my job and yada yada. Hopefully she doesn't say anything to our manager :/ It was just an honest mistake. I apologized profuesly but this lady is a loose cannon. And this mom had been buddy with another mom who has micros in the unit so of course she knew a lot about them and this other nurse says "well you told her information and details about the other twins too" um no I didn't they hang out in the lounge every day! Of course she knows a lot about them. This is why I despise chatty parents who ask tons of questions. I am just trying to get my stuff done and get out the door.

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How come RRT didn't have all necessary equipment ready and present?

And that nurse who's always a B"""""" ... how is it that she is allowed to be that way? Is the Manager aware of her charming personality?

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It was the L&D's nurse first preterm birth. Nothing was ready (suction, stethoscope, etc.)

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, educator.

With that many peeps in that room, someone should have been checking stuff ahead of

time.

Anywho, don't sweat it. Or next time just say, I really can't talk right now. Nothing wrong with that.

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Specializes in NICU.

Fortunately, we have a dedicated Infant Stabilization Team that attends all deliveries to ensure that the unexpected complications are handled smoothly and they have everything ready when it does happen.

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Marcy CNA

Thank you for your post. I greatly appreciate you discussing your hard situation. It is amazing that nursing can have such great moments and it can also have some hard moments where we need to learn from and understand what happened and why it happened. Thank you for being brave and telling everyone about your hard situation. My advice to you and to all of the nurses is when in doubt don't say anything unless instructed to say something. I have been there where I had to talk about something and then I blurted out something that I should not have and I regretted it ever since. When in doubt, ask the nurse in charge to see if it is something that you need to say or not. The thing to do when dealing with families in the waiting process of their new baby is to tell them about their baby when the baby is stabilized and when the tests are done. Telling about the baby while tests are being done might scare the family. The rule of thumb is not scare the family, but keep them calm and hopeful. I hope this helps you and good luck.

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