I really, really feel like calling it quits

[shining_star28463]

This a continuation of my other post. Today I had to meet with my clinical advisor and the instructor afterclass and I was told that I am not to go back to the clinical site on Monday and instead I have to go to campus and watch films and write reports, then I have to check off on five blood pressure readings and do an head to toe asking all of the pertinent questions (all of this is due before Feb. 8) before I will be allowed to go back to the clinical site and if I don't meet the criteria then I can be excused from the Med/Surg program.

Basically I was told that I am the worst student in the program and that I don't know anything. My clinical instructor said that it wasn't fair to the other students to have me around because I don't know what I'm doing. I am really devastated. The semester just began and we have only done two clinicals. I will admit that I made mistakes but I believe that the punishment is very harsh for the mistakes that I made. I feel stupid, I feel like a failure and I really feel like just giving up.

I have wanted to be a nurse for as long as I can remember and I have given up so much to get to this point and I feel really discouraged. It's like a hatchet hanging over my head, threatening to destroy my dreams and there isn't much I can do about it. I mean, what if I don't get all of the blood pressures correct or I miss a few of the assessment points? I'm really upset and I just need a little advice and inspiration...please someone help me.

[kimber1985]

I've seen instructors like this. Instead of encouraging you they try to break you. Don't let one instructor ruin your dream. You'll get through it if you practice the skills until you are confident. You can do this!!

[RNfromMN, BSN, RN]

Wow Jessica, that's the worst case of nursing instructor bullying I've read yet.

GardenDove, this was incredibly validating to hear. At the time, I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone about what was going on because this instructor was so incredibly respected. Truly brilliant. I felt it had to be me! I wouldn't be surprised if the OP is going through something like this, too.

[Haunted]

I have had insulting instructors who made some disheartening personal comments about me and my fellow students. I never met a nusring student that DIDN'T feel like chucking it at some point. Find a supportive network and get your confidence back thru them.

[DeLana_RN, BSN, RN]

I was nearly destroyed my second sememster in nursing school (BSN program); the details are too horrific to recount, having to do with 10-page careplans that were due the next day, thus allowing for 2 hours sleep before the next clinical day - and such things. I waited 18 months (got my CNA and worked in a nursing home in the meantime), but realized that there was nothing else I would rather do. I returned to the program (I had gotten a couple of incompletes, never failing grades) and finished my BSN Magna Cum Laude (3.8 GPA).

Then, I was forced to quit (or else get fired) after 11 weeks in my very first job on an oncology floor by a head nurse from h--- who, among other things, told me I would never make it in acute care - perhaps I might work in a doctor's office - and she would make sure that I would never work in this hospital again*. Need I add I was devastated?

So I went to the other local hospital, did my year in med-surg/PCU and then moved on to outpatient dialysis; my PCU NM was wonderful, and I left for personal reasons. And guess what - I just took a job in the same hospital where I was supposed to never work again, doing acute dialysis (a great job!) The old battle ax got fired long ago.

So you see, you are not alone. If you truly want to be a nurse, don't give up. Many of use have had to put up with nursing instructors, programs, and first jobs from h---, but we made it, and so will you if you really want to.

Wishing you the very best,

DeLana :icon_hug:

*I wasn't any more disorganized than any new grad, especially one who had no preceptor and was basically thrown to the wolves; their idea of "orientation" was increasing the work load each week and letting you figure it out. And if you didn't k--- a--, well...

[AfloydRN, BSN, RN]

My advice is to get a tutor. They usually have them in the nursing labs. It can't hurt and may help boost your confidence.

[Megsd, BSN, RN]

One thing you may consider doing is to talk with your previous clinical instructor and ask him/her for suggestions for improvement, since that instructor has already seen you perform and may have some advice for you. You may want to tell the old instructor what you have been told now that needs improvement, ask for ways to improve and maybe even just get a vote of confidence that you'll be okay.

When I was in college I almost changed majors thanks to a professor telling me I was doomed to fail. I got a second opinion from a previous professor who knew how I worked and what I could do, and he assured me I would be fine (and that the other professor was pretty snotty, so not to listen to her), and offered suggestions for improvement. I followed his advice and graduated with honors with my degree. I know regular college and nursing school are night and day, but the concept is still the same -- you don't live in a bubble. If you succeeded last semester, surely your instructor had confidence in you and may have advice for ways to improve.