I never imagined...

8 months ago, I was exactly where you are--only i work in the ICU. I remember really wanting to see a code and thinking that it would be all exciting and dramatic like on TV. Than it finally happened--again and again--not on the geriatrics either--on young people--for random or unknown reasons. I think everyone of us must have awful memories in our heads of patients who have gone wrong.

my best advice for you--from my limited knowledge--concentrate on having one good day. go on a vacation--something just to get away and relax, if only for a weekend. No matter what happened, realize that you did the best that you could in the situation. finally--and the hardest thing to do--quit obsessing-think about something else, DON'T BLAME YOURSELF!!!!

good luck! don't stop now, it gets better!

Wow, re-reading my own post and its such a bellyache. There was absolutely nothing I could do for the situation and I accept that. I want to give this job longer but I am 110% certain that I wouldn't go back if I saw what I saw last night any time in the near future. L&D gets stressfull, it gets sad, its always intense and usually the happy endings make up for the not so happy... I am good with all of that, but I still don't know if I will be able to hack it. Since I am per diem, maybe another per diem job in another area of nursing (bring on the dermatology) would make for a nice breather.

purpsurfer..when you fall off that horse..you need to get right back on, otherwise, you never will. Just ride it out, ease and confidence grows with experience. Good Luck honey, just persevere. JMHO! hugs to ya!

I think that in their first year of nursing almost everyone has a day (or ten) like that where they want to quit. I went through a period of about a month where I wanted to quit nursing altogether. When I was handed five patients with no nursing assistant yesterday I had another one of those moments of wanting to walk out the door. However, a previous poster was right that you have to get back on the horse or you'll never come back. Eventually the good days will outweigh the bad, but the first year is very difficult even in the best of circumstances.

You have plenty of company with me - have felt that way more times than I can count in my first year in L&D. When I went into L&D straight out of school, I had no idea it would be so stressful. Just because we are in the "happiest place in the hospital" (this is not my thinking, just quotes I have heard from various people) doesn't mean that we are immune to stress. If anything, it's even more stressful because our bad outcomes are usually very, very bad, and we have to be prepared for that 100% of the time. And I'm always quick to remind people who think that our job is so happy all the time that they have forgotten to include crash sections, coding babies, fetal demises, micropreemies, etc.

Hang in there. It's tough for everyone in that first year, believe me. I'm right there with you.:icon_hug:

I feel your pain. I started a job on a peds oncology floor 4 months ago...first job out of nursing school. its been awful. this is all i wanted and i have had no luck. for starters, i had serious issues with administration due to religious observance issues. they have been discriminatory and inappropriate-- everything has made me so nervous. Its a crazy floor to work on and it doesnt help when there are other issues. recently, i have been given the option to transfer to another floor. im looking at antepartum or postpartum because i think they are less acute floors. does anyone have any feedback? I dont want to give up nursing, but this has been a bad, bad start.

I think every new person in L&D goes through the phase of having a "cloud" follow them. Your storm cloud will pass. In the meantime take each experience as a learning experience. I have been in L&D for 4 year, started as a new grad, and I still get freaked out! But, I have learned from each scarry experience and the next time it happens I am a little more prepared then the first time.

On the other hand, if your issues are with dangerous staffing, horrible preceptors, or a unit that just doesn't support and help everyone out, then you might have to re-evaluate you work place and not the job itself.

good luck and hang in there, it will get better!

Purpsurfer ~ you can not believe how relieved I am to read your post, just to know that I am not alone. The whole reason I went into nursing was to do L&D and eventually midwifery. But after a year as a L&D nurse, I literally have days that I panic on the way to work ... just reliving various horrible nights at work.

On our floor, there is a mix of L&D nurses and postpartum nurses. When there are no laboring patients or more L&D nurses than laboring patients, then L&D nurses get to do postpartum. I actually am volunteering to do postpartum ... I am wishing for postpartum ... just because of the incredible stress of it all.

For all the experienced L&D nurses out there, does there come a day when you stop worrying so much? I have been told by many experienced L&D nurses on my floor that I am good at it and I try to keep getting more knowledge in the field and doing the best I can. Does it ever become less stressful? I know, sounds like I have no confidence ... it isn't that I don't know what to do in a bad situation ... I do and things have always turned out well thank God. But the stress! Please tell me it gets better! I am seriously considering changing my focus for graduate school

Again, I am just happy that I am not the only new L&D nurse that has doubts!

Well, been a few days and I go back on shift today. I appreciate the encouragement to get back on the horse but it really wasn't like that. I accept that crazy bad things happen and I might just be that pt's nurse. My situation was involving an incomplete induced AB of a second trimester pregnancy. That is as nice as I can put it. When you dream of being a labor nurse, you don't think about the possibility of THAT.

That sounds difficult...

I've never heard the term "purpsurfer", what does this mean?