I felt like I should work in med surg to get hospital experience before becoming a NP, so I applied at this local hospital and was hired on the med surg floor. I like the job just fine, but it comes down to money. I couldn't afford to leave my old job (it was a 30% difference in pay between one job and the other) so I foolishly thought I could handle working both jobs. I'm so tired I can't give my new job the kind of dedication I am satisfied with. If I have to choose between one job or the other I will have to keep my old job. I feel awful, because I went through orientation and have worked about 4 shifts. They are even giving me a patient load now (is it normal to have a patient load after 3 days orientation?)
Anyway, I'm supposed to work there 12 hours tomorrow and I don't feel like I can do it. Will they be really mad at me for resigning? Do you think they will expect me to finish orientation? I'm supposed to be in orientation 4-6 weeks. What is the most gracious way to leave?
Should I show up tomorrow? Or send an email?
I need to get out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan...thanks for any advice.
I worked two jobs (both full time) this last summer and it almost did me in for good! After about a month I started looking tired. I started giving bad reports,, and had an overall feeling that I was not living up to my own professional standards. I came close to what I can only describe as a nervous breakdown and had to resign one of the jobs.
Since then I have rested and I am able to do a wonderful job at my ONLY job, and I'm back to my old self. I no longer have the extra money that I had for a while, but I can still work an extra day here and there to get overtime.
I know this might be a little late to post.. but my position (after being there) is that if you feel you are not at 100% then resign. Why put the patients and yourself and license at risk any longer?
And I know I shouldn't be on the computer at work, which is my point. I'm so bored. They know I get on the computer, too. In fact, the ADON reminded me I wouldn't be able to piddle on the computer and do as I please at the hospital. I'm like the one on standby. For example, we just had a situation where a resident was trying to leave AMA and no one could get ahold of his doctor. So...I had to go talk to the patient and try to calm him down and then find a way to get ahold of the doctor. Now, I'm back at the computer because it's boring again. I'm kind of like the standby person here. I'm available to take over a med cart, call the doctor, round with the doctor, take orders, deal with staffing issues, pharmacy issues, incident reports, patient and family complaints, help the LPN assess patients to see if they need to go to the hospital, draw stat labs..(jack of all trades and master of none, I guess) Then it's back to sitting. It may be handy to have me around but the work I don't find very satisfying. Thanks for listening to me vent.
This job sounds really freakin easy!! Maybe you thought another job would be just as easy? I bet you could take on two jobs if they were both like this... but ... they're not.
Why don't you find something in your personal life to focus on and do with your time? Write a book maybe? Hmm I don't know.. But the last thing a nurse needs to be is... tired. A tired nurse is not good.
From my experience (and admittedly, I have not worked in a hospital) 2 weeks is standard for floor nurses; 4-6 seems to be more the norm for management. :)
perhaps the longer notice time is because most schedules are made for staffing 2 months ahead of time. That's my experience.
I left the CNO a note apologizing but explaining I had bitten off more than I could chew and while I couldn't afford to work there full-time I would like to see if it could be arranged for me to work every other weekend for now. I went over there yesterday to talk to her about it.
She told me to go home.
On top of that, now that I have quit the hospital (I got in my car and cried when she sent me away) and gone back to my old job my boss is treating me like crap now. I have been feeling vulnerable so I went in his office, showed him my orientation manual from the hospital and told him I really felt torn and in agony over leaving, because I really did enjoy the work. He told me to call them back and tell them I wanted back in...he may have been "joking" but I didn't see it that way. I'm starting to think my boss here has a bit of a sinister and abusive side to him.
You stated in a previous post that you have left a couple of other jobs hanging, and that you are getting the reputation of being a flake, right? Be careful, you don't sound like you are improving that reputation at all.
Your old job is YOUR JOB. I'm not sure what you are seeking from your current boss, but you need to square your shoulders, go in tomorrow with a smile, do a great job, and continue to do that every day. The need for frequent validation, tears, fatigue, and the "i just don't know what to do" attitude gets old quickly. Your boss at your old job isn't there to counsel you about how you really liked the old job, but you were just so tired, you don't know what to do, but you're feeling vulnerable and need some support...Do you hear how this sounds? If I were your boss, I'd be tired of it, too. Keep the drama at home if you want to keep your job. Your boss is concerned about your performance at your job, not about how you feel about this other job! He's not sinister, he's sick of your melodramatic performance. If this isn't the perfect job for you, or everything isn't peachy, no one needs to know that at work. Especially now, since you now appear to be on thin ice at your only, current job. Put on your big girl panties, accept that THIS IS YOUR JOB now, and do great work. What is the point of being wishy washy about this other job that essentially fired you when you couldn't fulfill their work requirement? It's just making things worse.
Rather than always wondering if something would be better somewhere else, or if you should be doing something more, or if you could have done something differently with that other job...how about you accept and take responsibility for your current situation? You have a job, do it. Be happy you have one, in this economy. Be positive, responsible, and do good work. You can make your job and your life a positive experience, or a negative one. You get to choose.
I agree with Bluegrass and it honestly appears that being miserable is the only way you are happy. I would have to be on some good and heavy drugs to walk into my current employer who has repeatedly tried to open my eyes to how good I have it here and basically all but blurted out that I can slack off on the internet and tell them how devastated I am that I had to leave my new job because I really loved it and now I am back and basically settling again. If I were your boss I would have told you to take a hike too, no offense. I also agree with Bluegrass that you need to really shape up, stop complaining, and learn to like what you do. You mindfully chose this job over the other one, so its time to cope and move forward. If you keep burning bridges you are going to be stuck on a one man island while your only way off burns down in front of you. Be grateful, stay focused, and keep in mind why you went into nursing to begin with. You said you make good money to be a resource for the rest of your staff. If you are bored, challenge yourself. Try to beat your best times for a tough draw, teach the novice staff tips and tricks, take a small patient load. Im sure the floor nurses would be most grateful and you most definitely would NOT be bored.
I left the CNO a note apologizing but explaining I had bitten off more than I could chew and while I couldn't afford to work there full-time I would like to see if it could be arranged for me to work every other weekend for now. I went over there yesterday to talk to her about it.
She told me to go home.
On top of that, now that I have quit the hospital (I got in my car and cried when she sent me away) and gone back to my old job my boss is treating me like crap now. I have been feeling vulnerable so I went in his office, showed him my orientation manual from the hospital and told him I really felt torn and in agony over leaving, because I really did enjoy the work. He told me to call them back and tell them I wanted back in...he may have been "joking" but I didn't see it that way. I'm starting to think my boss here has a bit of a sinister and abusive side to him.
I hate to say, you never should have told your present employer (the ones treating you well) about your new job. =( That stinks. I never would have told either about the other. That's too bad the new job couldn't try to accomodate you - that's what you get, apparently, for trying to man up and do the right thing and admit you're not super human. Hmph. Sorry that you're dealing with all this - PS - in the future, don't provide so much personal information to employers - they aren't your friends, you're just a person doing a job. Good luck - I hope it all works out.
I think you all are right. Believe it or not, I'm not the one with the reputation as one of the drama queens at work (and boy, do we have some). I have, however, been called "Eyore." I do accept responsibility for being a fruitcake, but it isn't getting me anywhere to acknowledge that. I'm in agony.
I'm going to do my best not to nag or complain anymore, because I notice how he gets that faraway look on his face and changes the subject when I start in. Then, at the same time, he says he really cares about me (not in that way) and that he values me so much because I am the one who stays until a job gets done and all that. I take Zoloft and I have Xanax prescribed, but it makes me so tired I'd rather not take it. I'm just miserable beyond any way to put it into words. I just have this constant feeling there is something extremely urgent and I have to go go go. And all I end up is so frustrated my face is in a permanent frown.
I've got to straighten up before I get my ass fired.
Its pretty evident right there in those last couple of sentences. You are constantly searching for something more. Gratification. Fulfillment. You think youll find it in a new job, but then you run and find a reason to quit right off the bat. The job is not the problem. Running and starting over are not the answers. You need to find fulfillment in yourself. Are you in therapy? If so, is it doing anything for you? When is the last time you had a med change/adjustment? Xanax actually isnt a great choice when you need to function, many people do better on clonazepam...longer half life, small dose and it takes the edge off but you can still function. Sometimes meds also stop working and its time for a change. Have you ever tried Wellbutrin? It often takes the edge of that have to "go go go" feeling of anxiety and distractability. Do you find enjoyment in anything anymore? (Is it obvious psych is my main specialty LOL). Depression is a nasty, nasty illness. It steals the joy and pleasure out of every single aspect of your life and leaves you without an ounce to fight back with.
I think you all are right. Believe it or not, I'm not the one with the reputation as one of the drama queens at work (and boy, do we have some). I have, however, been called "Eyore." I do accept responsibility for being a fruitcake, but it isn't getting me anywhere to acknowledge that. I'm in agony.
I'm going to do my best not to nag or complain anymore, because I notice how he gets that faraway look on his face and changes the subject when I start in. Then, at the same time, he says he really cares about me (not in that way) and that he values me so much because I am the one who stays until a job gets done and all that. I take Zoloft and I have Xanax prescribed, but it makes me so tired I'd rather not take it. I'm just miserable beyond any way to put it into words. I just have this constant feeling there is something extremely urgent and I have to go go go. And all I end up is so frustrated my face is in a permanent frown.
I've got to straighten up before I get my a$$ fired.
But yes, you're right. You're absolutely right.
I think you need to see your PCP and get a referral to a therapist.
Look, fruitcakes have their place; it just can't negatively affect your job performance. Each personality type brings something to the table. We all have to do this. I, for example, have great time management skills and am totally in the zone. I get stuff done and am really focused on my pts. It also means that I do not always see what else is going on around me. As a charge nurse, I have to consciously ask myself if my nurses are doing okay, have I asked them in a while, have I even seen all of them in a while? It's not my strength, it doesn't come naturally to me and so I have to really work on this constantly.
You need to maximize your strengths and improve your weaknesses. Take a piece of paper and a good, hard look at yourself and your job performance. Write down what you do well, and what you need to work on. My job has free counseling as a part of its employee benefits. It can take the form of career, health, spiritual, or mental health counseling. They also off "life coaching" for people who maybe don't need mental health counseling, but who do need some help figuring out their strengths and weaknesses, and who need help organizing their lives and addressing issues of personality. Perhaps your job offers this; if not, as crazy as it sounds, I would encourage you to talk to a "Life Coach" for a couple of sessions, to get yourself in order.
As others have said, it also appears to me that you need to see your PCP for an evaluation of your meds and a referral for mental health counseling. Antidepressants work best in conjunction with behavior counseling. You also need to be taking a multi-vitamin every day, getting adequate sleep, and you need to be eating decently and getting daily exercise, preferably with at least 30 minutes of outdoor, morning sun exposure.
Look at this little crisis as a great opportunity for you. You now recognize that you need to be doing something different in your life. And by different I don't mean job, location, whatever. I'm talking internally. You need to take control of your behavior, your attitude, and your lifestyle. It takes some people years to learn this (in my case, for example) and some people never learn this. You, however, have the self-awareness and the need to do this now, early in your career and your life. I wish I myself would have had this realization sooner. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to make your life permanently stronger and better. Take it.
Look, fruitcakes have their place; it just can't negatively affect your job performance. Each personality type brings something to the table. We all have to do this. I, for example, have great time management skills and am totally in the zone. I get stuff done and am really focused on my pts. It also means that I do not always see what else is going on around me. As a charge nurse, I have to consciously ask myself if my nurses are doing okay, have I asked them in a while, have I even seen all of them in a while? It's not my strength, it doesn't come naturally to me and so I have to really work on this constantly.
You need to maximize your strengths and improve your weaknesses. Take a piece of paper and a good, hard look at yourself and your job performance. Write down what you do well, and what you need to work on. My job has free counseling as a part of its employee benefits. It can take the form of career, health, spiritual, or mental health counseling. They also off "life coaching" for people who maybe don't need mental health counseling, but who do need some help figuring out their strengths and weaknesses, and who need help organizing their lives and addressing issues of personality. Perhaps your job offers this; if not, as crazy as it sounds, I would encourage you to talk to a "Life Coach" for a couple of sessions, to get yourself in order.
As others have said, it also appears to me that you need to see your PCP for an evaluation of your meds and a referral for mental health counseling. Antidepressants work best in conjunction with behavior counseling. You also need to be taking a multi-vitamin every day, getting adequate sleep, and you need to be eating decently and getting daily exercise, preferably with at least 30 minutes of outdoor, morning sun exposure.
Look at this little crisis as a great opportunity for you. You now recognize that you need to be doing something different in your life. And by different I don't mean job, location, whatever. I'm talking internally. You need to take control of your behavior, your attitude, and your lifestyle. It takes some people years to learn this (in my case, for example) and some people never learn this. You, however, have the self-awareness and the need to do this now, early in your career and your life. I wish I myself would have had this realization sooner. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to make your life permanently stronger and better. Take it.
well said.
Nursing is all about coping when the poop hits the fan... the rest is gravy. Taking a good long look at why you came into the profession, what you are doing right (and wrong) can really help bring your focus together. I hope the OP finds it! I know being flakey is not some way anyone really wants to be - but she's the only one that can make a change. At least she recongizes her faults. Good job for that - many people don't want to look in the mirror and really see what looks back at them.
Magsulfate, BSN, RN
1,201 Posts
I worked two jobs (both full time) this last summer and it almost did me in for good! After about a month I started looking tired. I started giving bad reports,, and had an overall feeling that I was not living up to my own professional standards. I came close to what I can only describe as a nervous breakdown and had to resign one of the jobs.
Since then I have rested and I am able to do a wonderful job at my ONLY job, and I'm back to my old self. I no longer have the extra money that I had for a while, but I can still work an extra day here and there to get overtime.
I know this might be a little late to post.. but my position (after being there) is that if you feel you are not at 100% then resign. Why put the patients and yourself and license at risk any longer?
:)