I registered for my first exam.....tons of pressure from my parents to get this degree done and over with. My bf (we live together in his house w/ my 2 kids) isn't sooo excited that I'm in school. He wasn't all that stoked before. I mean...when I moved in here I was in the next to last semester of school...med surg 2...and I knew it was going to be trouble....what I didn't know was that the man I was dating would turn into someone completely different.....the expectations of keeping up the house, spending time "taking care" of him, and the kids...then he went into a midlife crisis and well...here I am. I'm in a position now where I'm working to support all of us, enrolled in school, and raising 2 children who are with me 95% of the time....Please...does anyone have any advice how to approach this situation? I have to study...I have to work...I have to take care of the kids....and our home....and him....it's all very challenging...I haven't slept through the night in 3 weeks!!!! I'm exhausted, angry, and sad. I just want to get through nursing school so I can make my own decisions, so I'm not financially stuck somewhere I don't want to be....any words of encouragement, time mgmt, insightfullness...anything would be great....If you have something mean to say I'd really rather not hear it though, nothing personal....but I live with the king of mean....so I get enough already!
Specializes in ER and family advanced nursing practice.
If you have something mean to say I'd really rather not hear it though, nothing personal....but I live with the king of mean....so I get enough already!
thanks
Ok not being mean, just being honest. Sometimes it is necessary for us to hear things we don't want to.
School can wait. Your parents can and will get over it. Nursing school has been around for over 100 years. It will be there when you need it. Browse these forums. You will see that Excelsior is tough enough when personal issues are at a minimum. Get your life together then attack EC with full force. You will prevail.
On to the King of Mean (KOM). You need to get out of there. Here is where the honesty (not trying to be mean) part comes in: it is about your kids. You are the adult which means you need to make adult decisions. If he is mean then they are seeing that (there is no way they are not). They don't need to see that. They see you tolerating and accepting meanness, then they will grow up thinking that meanness is acceptable. It will affect how they relate to others when they become adults. You are responsible for the enviroment they are in. Only you.
My insight is simple: get out. Get out now.
Let me as an ex-cop give you some more insight: mean guys do mean things and sometimes things escalate (see above regarding your kids and their environment). In other words mean people say mean things and eventually (if not already) they will do mean things. Again, you children are watching and learning.
If you don't think you have the resources to get out then talk to your parents. If that is not an option (and sometimes it is not) then there are others. We can discuss if you would like.
that wasn't mean...i appreciate your honesty.....I know you're right...i've known it for a long time...I just don't where to turn or go.....as far as living with my parents it's not an option...I don't have a car either.....so I'm very limited...he lets me drive his to work and take kids to school.....He's someone who's been pushed to his edge and yes...things have already happened. In speaking to his mother she said he has never acted this way...adn she sees it too...so it's not just me telling her. She thinks he's very depressed and in denial about it....but I can't take this anylonger. I can't wait for him to decide...I was depressed when I failed school and he was cheating on me...adn I pulled myself through it.....and I've dealt with depression for a very very long time...It's hard I know....but my kids deserve so much better....they are the greatest kids ever and I hate that they've had to go through so much already. I'm going to try to figure out where to go tomorrow!
Specializes in ER and family advanced nursing practice.
I have sent you a PM/email.
I have seen far too many situations like this in all of my careers (paramedic, cop, nurse). One thing that many people in a tight spot have in common is that they think they don't have any options. Sometimes they are hard to see or in reality, hard to acknowledge, but they are there.
ivanh3
472 Posts
Ok not being mean, just being honest. Sometimes it is necessary for us to hear things we don't want to.
School can wait. Your parents can and will get over it. Nursing school has been around for over 100 years. It will be there when you need it. Browse these forums. You will see that Excelsior is tough enough when personal issues are at a minimum. Get your life together then attack EC with full force. You will prevail.
On to the King of Mean (KOM). You need to get out of there. Here is where the honesty (not trying to be mean) part comes in: it is about your kids. You are the adult which means you need to make adult decisions. If he is mean then they are seeing that (there is no way they are not). They don't need to see that. They see you tolerating and accepting meanness, then they will grow up thinking that meanness is acceptable. It will affect how they relate to others when they become adults. You are responsible for the enviroment they are in. Only you.
My insight is simple: get out. Get out now.
Let me as an ex-cop give you some more insight: mean guys do mean things and sometimes things escalate (see above regarding your kids and their environment). In other words mean people say mean things and eventually (if not already) they will do mean things. Again, you children are watching and learning.
If you don't think you have the resources to get out then talk to your parents. If that is not an option (and sometimes it is not) then there are others. We can discuss if you would like.
Hope this helps,
Ivan