I hate being a nurse…

[Sav789]

I’ve been a nurse for a little over a year. I first did home health for 7 months, which was not for me. I left to work on a postpartum unit which I love compared to other units there are but I still just so badly hate being a nurse.

I’m constantly in a state of anxiety, asking myself “did I miss something”, “should I have called the doctor for that”, “what If I missed something on a baby that’s now at home and something bad happens to them”. I’m constantly asking questions to my coworkers who were really nice about it at first but now get annoyed.

I’m constantly rechecking labels, redoing math over and over again. Doing vitals on babies probably more than needed just because I’m so nervous and anxious 24/7.

On my way to work, I literally am secretly hoping I get in a car wreck so I don’t have to go in (I know terrible) or that I get so Ill I can’t work. I know this isn’t healthy.

I’m honestly so embarrassed that I already hate nursing and I just keep trying to tell myself that it’s only been a year and I need to just stick it out but I don’t want to. I would rather just have some office job where there aren’t any lives on the line.

Is this a normal feeling and does it go away, or should I try to pursue something else? Help.  

[PhilodendronPrinceofOJ, LPN]

My primary care doctor's office has a nurse who administers allergy tests as well as gives injections. She says that sometimes it gets very busy, but for the most part everything is a bit relaxed. They're usually pretty good with the scheduling so it never seems like they're in a rush to give everyone their shots. Hopefully you find the specialty that works best for you. 

[Sarah1]

I remember once on a very busy day I could barely keep up, admission, discharge, blood, tpn, ETOH patient pulling out his IV blood everywhere, screaming patient for pain medication all at 0900.  I asked my aide to please get a set of vitals so I could start the blood, and I ran to the blood bank to retrieve the blood.  My aide said it had to wait because she was going on break to have her breakfast, it was 9am.

Okay, later that day I get pulled into the managers office and get reprimanded for not helping my CNA.

I was running my tail off, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  I told her really and who is helping me?

Such a toxic pit, I soon left that job

[K. Everly, BSN, RN]

On 5/30/2022 at 6:55 PM, Sav789 said:

It isn’t as stressful as other units and if I really love my unit but it’s just the stress and anxiety that’s getting to me. To know that things can go south any minute scares the crap out of me. I just want to work somewhere that doesn’t involve patient care LOL

I actually really understand this in a deep level. My unit is similar in that it is, IMO, one of the best in the entire hospital. People are more stable on my floor than most others in the hospital and our ratios are not as crazy because we are a closed unit and we take on-call to cover staffing holes. 

However, the definitely are occasional code sepsis, rapid response codes, diabetic instability leading to scary situations, code strokes, and even code blues. I really do not enjoy any of those acute situations and to be honest they terrify me and keep me up at night. I am giving myself at least a year on this unit to see if it’s a level of stress I can eventually become accustomed to with time and experience. If I can’t get used to it, I’m not going to see it as a personal or moral failing. I am going to go per diem and find something else that is on the less acute side of nursing care. It’s such a vast degree that can open so many doors, no need to waste it! 

I liked what another nurse said about allowing myself to second guess myself only twice. If I ruminate again, I’ll try to stop it as soon as I notice. I’ll also share that I just switched to day shift from months on nights and while days are a lot busier, nights were scarier for a couple reasons. Firstly, when s***t hits the fan, there are no docs around overnight and getting them to come to the bedside to assess is like pulling teeth, and secondly, there was less hustle and bustle so I spent more time in my own head on a hamster wheel of anxiety and second guessing. Now the days is so busy I just have to move on to the next thing and can’t spend nearly the same about of time ruminating about it. Also, night shift was slowly killing me. Emotionally it turned me into somebody I hardly recognized anymore! 

[Kitiger, RN]

On 6/1/2022 at 10:26 PM, CommunityRNBSN said:

I recently took as a job as a school nurse, and even administering insulin— I’ve done it a million times and I TEACH people to do it— absolutely freaked me out when I started. The child would skip off to recess and I’d be obsessing: “I gave her two units. Right?  Yes I did. I know I did. And it was to cover 20 grams carbs. Was it 20?  Yes. And that’s the right ratio, right?”  Absurdity. I did get more comfortable with that particular thing, but my point is— some of us have such anxiety about making a serious error that it is overwhelming. 

I am so distractable that I can certainly relate to this! So many times, I have taken a B/P or TPR and completely forgotten the numbers before I got them written down.

Know yourself, have a Plan B.

My 'Plan B' is to immediately write down the numbers, lab value, whatever. I tell the patient, "Wait, let me write this down." 

It was worse when I was a new nurse, because I had the other questions in my head, too, such as, "What side effects do I need to know with this drug? Can it be given at the same time as this other drug? When should I hold it and ask the doctor?, Etc." Those things do settle down with time. 

But my 'Plan B' still stands.

[Bigwave108, BSN, RN]

I think you actually seem to understand nursing pretty well.  It is true:  anything can go south at any moment.  

Of course, it may be the work environment.  You have invested a lot in your career and education already, so also consider there are RN jobs out there that are more office or clinic oriented, with more routine through the day, and patients/clients that are far less likely to crump on you.  

I don't think the hospital is for everyone.  It is a crazy work environment, and very different from any other type of career.  Before I was an ER nurse, I was studying to be a mountain guide/avalanche professional, so I am accustomed to work environments with high stakes and factors out of your control.  This is an extreme example, but I fall back on this experience when managing risk and decisions in the ER.  So my point with this anecdote is that hospital nursing is high consequence and to like that type of nursing you need to be comfortable with a "reasonable degree" of risk and have the skills to manage risk to the best of your ability.  

Another approach would be to be more organized, like incorporate a custom, comprehensive checklist into your brain sheets, so if you are concerned about missing something, you can always look at your notes.  If you are prone to anxiety generally in your life, also consider modalities to help with your mental landscape, like therapy, hobbies, meditation, etc.  

[Maddie300]

I have been a nurse for 30 yrs. Gradually it takes its toll. I also hate nursing. I wish I would have chosen a different career. If a person wants to get beat up emotionally, physically and mentally, become a nurse.