I feel weird

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

history: my son was delivered in at my home on October 16, 1999 with a lay midwife. I set my sites on becoming a midwife right then and there, my son was bf, not vaxxed, no vit-k, not circumcised, and raised vegetarian. I did not tear.

I started nursing school when Hunter was a year old with the hopes that " well it's hard to get into lay midwifery and build clientelle. maybe I should try L/D and get paid well as a nurse and build experience............... then get out of nursing, build clientelle, and become a lay midwife.

When I did my clinicals in L/D, i cried everyday. Epidurals, catheters,fetal monitors, etc...... This is NOT how I envision birth. It made me sad. ( birth is a natural part of a womans life)

I started nursing school to BE A MIDWIFE!!!!!! now as a new grad i have decided to work in the ED and part time in a psych unit. because working L/D would be awful to me. ( i.e nobody checked my lochia, nobody palpated my fundus)

nursing school has definitely changed me, yet, i've studied all the L/D stuff, and if i ever have another child, I will have the baby at home. I am just mad/frusterated at myself that I thought that nursing would make me a good lay midwife.......and it really won't.

Bottom line, i went to nursing school to learn about birth/intrapartum etc. and the conventional aspect of it really does not appeal to me.

Here I go, as a new grad starting in the ED, when all I really wanna do is be a homebirthing midwife................

I feel weird and frustrated at this point. Yes, i will have a good job that I can support my son and I on. Yes I have a degree, but NO, i want to be a homebirthing midwife. yet nursing school failed me regarding labor and delivery. They taught breast is best woo hoo, but think that vegan moms need more nutrition.

I'm lost. I'm starting a job as an ER nurse, but I really wanna assist moms to deliver in their own homes.

any help, advice encouraging words would be a plus. i still have that "dream" of assisting moms at home, but i really honestly don't know if it will happen..........

Congratulations on your home birth.

I ran a free standing birth center for almost 10 years and there are many women who want non-intervention for their births. Birth Centers are an alternative to high tech hospital births. Hospitals are great when there is a need for acute care but research has shown over and over that out of hospital birth at home or in free standing birth centers is as safe (maybe Even safer) as hospital birth for women with out risk factors.

i so enjoyed the births at our birth center where women labored a they chose with the support they wanted and needed. Birth is very beautiful.

Do not give up on your dream. Become a midwife. I teach at the Frontier School of Midwifery and Family Nursing and we offer distance education. http://www.midwives.org

We also have a very strong focus on out of hospital births! There is an organization National Association of Childbearing Centers that can give you lots of info on birth centers in the USA and around the world. http://WWW.birthcenters.org

I am so happy to hear about your belief in natural birth. I do understand being dissalusioned by contemporty hospital care of women. I firmlybelieve to change this we need more out of hospital birth as is being pushed in England!

All the best.

Suzan

TinyNurse- you remind me of me :) I haven't had any babies, but I had decided, at one point, that home-birth midwifery (I shudder at the phrase "lay midwife", those hard working women are professionals, often licensed by the state just like us) was for me. I even started to go to school for it- I attended the first year of a 2-year midwifery program at the Hands of Light school in Massachusetts. At that point, I decided not to continue with the program for a number of reasons, and decided to go to nursing school to become a maternity nurse. I wanted to be where I could help more than the small percentage of already empowered, usually educated women opting for homebirths.

I began working on a fairly progressive LDRP floor at the end of June, and I have loved every minute of it. Waterbirths and hypnobirthing are two very popular options on this floor. I've seen these nurses advocate the laboring mother's birth plan to the mother herself (e.g. the woman who came in planning a drug-free waterbirth and begged for an epidural while they were filling the tub). Most of us nurses share a philosophy of supporting women to attain an empowering birth that fits their birth plans- so we do see our share of epidurals, etc.

Perhaps someday, I may decide to take my hospital experience and become a CPM If and when I do, it will most likely be through the Frontier School!). I'd like to see what path my life takes.

I join you TinyNurse in the sad situations in hospital Labor and Delivery units today. I have worked in OB for many years and it has been a constant struggle for me. I consider most of what we do in labor and delivery to jeopardize moms and babies. Elective inductions, Artificial rupture of membranes at 1 cm, internal monitoring, IVs when not needed, the list could go on. After hearing me moan and groan for so many years, my own daughter opted for a home birth. Unfortunately, she had to go to the hospital when she had pushed forever so a snotty doctor who treated her very condescendingly could right Lily's asynclitic noggin with a vacuum. Next push, out comes Lily. Cary had a 2nd degree and guess what, she didn't let them sew her up. She healed beautifully. I could go on and on about my experiences but I won't.

What I do want to do is encourage you to follow your heart. You can be a home birth midwife as a certified nurse midwife. I have a friend who is a CNM in Fremont, OH, who does both home and hospital births. More homebirth attendants are needed, so desparately needed, to provide women with the option of staying home to have their babies.

why not get some skills/experience in things like neonatal resus, post-partum assessment, etc and then you could have some qualifications to ease you into working at a birth centre or w/ a homebirth practioner.

I do believe that sometimes they rush the birthing process in the hospitals. But on the other hand, I would have died along with my son (1983), if an emergency c-section wasn't performed. Even though my son is mentally retarded, I am still thankful I was in a hospital(just wished I had picked a different doctor)

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

You sound so dedicated but one thing you MUST recall, in labor and delivery and EVERY where else in nursing, is that your vision is NOT that of everyone else. It is not your place or the place of any of us to attempt to change or divert an opinion or option choice. As the nurse or midwife you are there to support the patient giving birth and many people are perfectly content to give birth with assist as needed. That is what individuality is all about and the same respect I give a patient who prefers the least intervention possible even though I may not agree, should be afforded to the person who desires intervention. It is not a crime NOT to welcome pain if that is not something you feel.....It is not a crime or un natural if interventions are utilized and it is NOT a crime or dis service to the family to participate in the best possible experience as THEY see fit....Learn that and you will be a magnificent midwife and nurse....

Just remember that we have come ALONG way over the years.

These interventions didn't come along just so we could tortue women in labor.

Women use to DIE giving birth, along with their child.

Since my hospital began doing OB over 40 years ago, we have lost only 1 mother in a 48hr window after birth. Even in this case, it was something that was totally unrelated to the delivery, and could not have been caught by ANYONE.

Bad things happen with babies. Granted, things go right most of time, and little needs to be done. But do you really want to explain to a mother that her baby has just died in-utero because of your lack of training during this home birth... knowing that had you been 100ft from a c-section room this baby would have been saved?.... and then... still have to send this mother to the hospital so she can endure a csection to deliver her deceased baby???

I couldn't live with myself just thinking that I put ONE patient in this position.

David Adams, ARNP

-ACNP, FNP

Specializes in OB, lactation.

"because of your lack of training during this home birth... "

You probably know that most homebirth midwives these days ARE trained by MEAC accredited CPM programs & liscensed by their respective state, but I just wanted to reiterate the point. I understand that some people aren't comfortable with the idea under any circumstances, but most midwives carefully screen patients to determine if they are good candidates for homebirth and if not, refer them to another practitioner. The safety rate is quite high.

I always seem to notice a lot of contention between different types of midwives since there is such a broad spectrum of beliefs and practices. I think that homebirth midwives have to concede (and i think they generally do) that there are times when homebirth is not ideal, and that hospital practitioners have to concede that there are way too many uneccesary interventions. We should advocate for what the patient wants, but sometimes patients just get a routine treatment without truly informed consent. Sometimes interventions uneccesarily snowball into a CS that didn't need to happen. Sometimes of course interventions are life-saving and very needed - but not nearly as often as they are used. We know a 25% CS rate isn't needed. High episiotomy rates aren't needed. High Pit usage isn't needed. Too many inductions for "big" babies that come out average. Unnecessary surgery can be just as risky as some people believe homebirth to be.

....and to add to mitchsmom, the tremendous feeling of empowerment from birth a mother gets when she gets the birth she chooses. I struggle, daily, with the interventions we load onto pregnant women and their babies in my hospital setting. It makes my toes curl when a Mom insists on being induced because she is tired of being pregnant. I witnessed one wonderful doc try everything on earth to convince this woman that induction was not a wise choice yet she was adamant. She could have cared less about the cytotec, IV, pitocin, internal monitoring, epidural, O2 for nonreassuring FHR due to hypotension post epidural, foley catheter, vac assist lady partsl delivery. Convenient birth is consumer driven.

Just curious,

Have you done any more research on this area? I delivered VBAC with my second child at home. My midwife kind of started out in a similiar situation.

She went to nursing school, but always wanted to do home deliveries. She dropped out of nursing school, and became an "apprentice" with a group of midwives in Las Vegas.

She is now a direct entry midwife with a growing practice in the south.

Have you checked out http://www.midwiferytoday.com? It has a lot of information about becoming a midwife. There is also "The Farm" and Ina Mae Gaskin, also you might check into holistic websites.

Good Luck in your search!

Since a lot of us ER nurses would rather have anything but a pregnant, pushing patient, you may the one who loves the precipitous deliveries in the driveway.... :)

Tinynurse, I hope you're still around. I realize this post was a while back.

I hope you're enjoying your experience in ER or at least, gaining lots of experience. I just wanted to say, I too, was disillusioned by what I saw in L&D during school. Of course, we did our clinicals at a very high intervention facility. I now work in L&D at a more progressive facility with several CNM's on staff. While many pts choose a lot more intervention than I would, I still have enough exposure to natural childbirth to keep me happy. I also think working in L&D would give you the opportunity to learn from high risk cases, which would be beneficial to any type of midwife.

I too, opted for homebirth,although we transferred to a birth center in the last week. My water baby is still bf and unvaccinated. She is 15 months. :) Good luck on your journey.

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