I failed my Pharm clinical(;(

[Catty Ann]

i dont want to sound like im whining or anything, soo here goes.... i failed my pharm clinical in the 2 year of my two year lpn course! i cried for two months and lied to everyone about it till i could talked about it without crying again! everyone was giving such praise for doing so well in school and being brave for leaving a ft job at a ltc i had been working at for 20+ years as a cca. i told people i had dropped out for family reasons and i felt ashamed for that too.

i made the honors list in marks and yes i know that good marks dont necessarily make a good nurse

my clinical instructor had said to me," that if she hadn't seen all the work i had done for my med pass prep, she would have thought i had read an other text." oh! crap!

i knew nothing!!!! i froze, i blanked and my fave expression "i don't know" when i think about it i still feel like i dumb ass:mad: and mad at myself. i had thought that my testing anxiety passed with each test and exam, etc. it was bad i threw up before tests and exams and passed out with physical assessment final .

however my fellow clinical mates complained to our pharm instructor on the belittling treatment they saw towards me from the clinical instructor. i only know this now, after the fact and i wondered why my pharm instructor showed up one day:confused: asking how things are going in a post clinical meeting. i always felt so small, inferior and stupid around her?!

our class did two rotations in different clinicals; mental heath and pharm. my only real gripe about the school was/is that they knew about my testing anxiety why couldn't they arrange my pharm clinical first so in case of me freezing i could repeat the pharm clinical. i had time to do this in the school year as the mh was a preceptor-ship and no cost to the school. they did it for one of the other students! maybe instead of just puking and fainting in a lab test ill just up and die!!!!!!!! ok, now i'm gettin' mad! well enough of this......

i'm trying to get back in for this year. i was told by the enrollment department that they have to ask for permission form the health services department head if i can get back in!? im second on a wait list and i had asked a pn student who works with me a ltc facility about her class first year pass rate. i felt good for me and bad for the students who had failed, cusz i know what that feels like to have gone that path.

what i need for you great nurses is some encouragement, a little butt kicking if needed, truth and hope.

love to you all for all you do!

[grandmawrinkle]

Holy wow. Goodness. Bless you sweetheart! And some more exclamations thrown in for good measure!!!!!

I think that if you are freezing up, vomiting and fainting and it's anxiety related (in this case, to exams/school) -- honey, you need to go to the doctor. This is not normal. Lots of people get butterflies, but this is pretty over the top. If you have anxiety to the point where you aren't able to function (and it appears that is the case) do yourself a favor and get some help.

You probably do have to go through all the appropriate channels to get back into school, but I'm not sure that I would even attempt this until you can get your symptoms under control. After school, there is the NCLEX, and then a new job...all new stuff, which I would guess would be hard for you as well.

Do you think you have an anxiety problem?

[Bobbkat]

This is going to sound a little harsh, but I don't understand why it's the school's responsibility to arrange your schedule around your anxiety problems? You aren't going to be able to arrange everything in your life so it works out best for you all the time. I would recommend finding a way to deal with your reactions under stress (freezing up, as well as any other behaviors that you usually find are occuring), and then reenrolling in school. When you are in a better place to deal with your own personal reactions to stress you will be much more likely to be successful in your pursuits.

[Catty Ann]

Thanks ladies for the advice.

Yes I'm getting help with a DR. and therapy. Trying the no pill rout first, if need be I will take them. Oh sorry on the fainting issue, did it before lab exam, I aced it!

Just putting me on the spot at times makes brain freeze. She was like a Drill Sargent. She had given me 8 clients to research on Fri. and changed them on Mon. to be ready for Tuesday. A little back ground, I'm not making excuses. I know I have to expect the unexpected.

Just getting a lot of pressure from hubby to get it done. Just still a little shaky from that experience.

It was a good learning experience.

Thanks again!:)

[Isitpossible, LPN, LVN]

well cattyann good luck to you darling..it sounds like your clinical instructor was not the most helpful..it really does appear that some clinical instructors target people for unknown reasons...try try try to exude confidence..when people sense weakness, they tend to POUNCE...thats everywhere in general not specific to nursing only....exude confidence, exude confidence! make this your daily mantra!

[luvthegsp]

This is going to sound a little harsh, but I don't understand why it's the school's responsibility to arrange your schedule around your anxiety problems? You aren't going to be able to arrange everything in your life so it works out best for you all the time. I would recommend finding a way to deal with your reactions under stress (freezing up, as well as any other behaviors that you usually find are occuring), and then reenrolling in school. When you are in a better place to deal with your own personal reactions to stress you will be much more likely to be successful in your pursuits.

I have to agree. How will you handle a real life crisis??

[Bobbkat]

Catty Ann, I'm glad to hear you're meeting the anxiety head on. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having problems dealing with stress. I've certainly had my less than shining moments when under stress. Good for you for not making excuses and finding a way to help yourself deal with your reactions.

[nurse2033, MSN, RN]

Best of luck getting back in. It sounds like you maybe never had trouble like this before. I got fired for the first time a few years ago and it was devastating because I've never really failed at anything that was important to be before. Just dust yourself off, come up with a workable strategy and keep going!

[dbb37128]

Catty Ann,

As someone else stated in another post, you have to try and learn from this awful experience and make the best of the situation. Being in nursing school itself is a VERY stressful. Try and be as prepared as you can be. Set up study groups with other people in your class and do "practice" tests on a time frame. I'm glad that you are talking to someone about your feelings. It can be very helpful. Also, explain to your husband that support and encouragement is great, but nagging is not. If the therapy doesn't totally resolve the issue, talk to your doctor about some anxiety medication. Being on medication (probably short-term) can make a world of difference. There is no stigma attached to getting help and taking care of yourself. Remember that we all learn as we go along through life, and we learn even more from these type of situations than we do our success. God bless and take care.