Humiliation and embarassment after NCLEX failure

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Just found out this morning that one of my classmates have passed...and i cant help but thinking that this is extremely humiliating and embarassing for me. All the ppl I have been close to (about 6 of us) and studying with throughout nursing school has passed the NCLEX...EXCEPT ME. And i'm sure my group and I all know the same thing, bcuz we all had the same study strategy for the nclex...lots of questions and we did them together, so I rly dont get it... what am I doing wrong??...and what are they doing right?? how is it that I was the only one that failed?? it rly is humiliating. maybe they are getting easier questions while im getting stuck with all the hard questions.. knowing my badluck, idk.argh. now I'm getting depressed all over again. I feel left out, all my friends are celebrating with RN after they're name txting me...I am very happy for them, but as for myself...I feel sooooooo left out...it just does'nt make sense...I should have passed with them the first time :( I even told them before any of us took the nclex that jokingly...well sorta, that I would be the first and only one to fail the nclex out of the group lol. and LO and Behold...it came true! Plz God I need help...this pressure is killing me and I hardly feel worthy, compared to my study group that has passed, I feel truly ashamed and defeated.:crying2:

Specializes in peds,home care, dietican.

Hang in there!!!! I know exactly what you mean. I will be taking my exam for the third time next month. It will almost be a year since I graduated and I feel like I'm the only odd ball in my class or among my friends without RN next to my name. It took me a while with support from family and this forum for me to realize that it is not the end of the world. There is hope for me, you and anyone else who is in this same situation. However, don't worry about what people in your class, friends, family or one will say(I know its easier said than done). It is the end result that matters. This will make you a stronger person at the end. You were able to finish nursing school and you will pass the NCLEX. Take a break, hang in there, pick yourself up and study like you never took the test before. Good luck!!!!!!!!:saint:;)

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Specializes in ED, OB.
Wow FML431, your post might as well as have been written by me. I have been going through the EXACT same thing. Every time another friend sends out a text announcing that they passed it feels like a stab in the heart. It's not that I'm not happy for them or glad they made it, because I am, but it makes me feel terrible. But now all of my friends have passed (and easily, at 75 questions - while I was there 6 hours), and they all are starting their new jobs this week and I am the only without a license or job. (I also lost a job - my dream job - when I failed..) It's really hard to have faith in yourself after something like that, and to believe that you have any worth as a nurse. So I'm with you 100%, and I have to say it's really comforting to come on here and know that other smart capable people are in the same position. But it does seem to be getting a little bit better every day. I am beginning to realize that this will just make be a better nurse in the long run. So you hang in there, and I will too!! :lol2:

I so know how you feel. You would never wish anything bad on your friends who helped get you through it... just a little better to say "wow, i'm not the only one"!! All of mine have been in orientation this week. I am trying to find a means of income since my employment is frozen...

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Like everyone says, rest for a while, don't give yourself a bad time, you were just one of those 15%ers. Use EFT for emotional control and dedicate yourself to a study plan. My 2 closest friends failed. We were the 3 musketeers. It made me feel like a fraud and like I did something or treated them badly. Survivors guilt all the way.

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Specializes in ED, OB.
Like everyone says, rest for a while, don't give yourself a bad time, you were just one of those 15%ers. Use EFT for emotional control and dedicate yourself to a study plan. My 2 closest friends failed. We were the 3 musketeers. It made me feel like a fraud and like I did something or treated them badly. Survivors guilt all the way.

thank you.. I have taken a break but now trying to find what's going to work for me. I think that this forum helps me identify with others who have the same feelings I do.. all of the support is helping me through this.. thank you :)

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IMm sorry...you have to pick yourself up and try again...

just like my brother..he was devastated when he failed..but he tried again and was fortunate the second time...

prayers helped a lot too!

rest for a while and consider suzanne's plan if you want...

God bless you..

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The problem that I see, right away, is comparing yourself with classmates and other people who you know that passed it. That type of behavior does not help you at all to achieve your goal to be prepared to pass the NCLEX the next time you take it. Yes, I understand you have to give to yourself some time to mourn the loss of a good opportunity. On the other hand, if you look at your situation realistically, not passing the NCLEX in no way or shape is a reflection of your skill as a future registered nurse. Reflect on your accomplishments rather than on your failures which, by the way, will keep you humble and allert to what you need to do in order to develop stronger NCLEX test taking skills. I have failed the NCLEX four times. The fourth time I took it I did not have any section that was below passing standards. To me that was significant and instead on concentrating how bad I felt because I did not pass it for the fourth time, my new strategy is concentrating in what I need to do in order to pass it the next time I take it. It is all about you and what can you do right in order to pass the next time you take the NCLEX. I tell you this: I seriously doubt that comparing yourself with your classmates who passed the NCLEX and dwelling on how bad it was when you noticed that some of your classmates treated you in a condescending manner because you did not pass the NCLEX whereas the majority of them became registered nurses is definitely not a strategy that will help you to pass the NCLEX the next time you take it. Best, feliz3

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Specializes in ED, OB.
The problem that I see, right away, is comparing yourself with classmates and other people who you know that passed it. That type of behavior does not help you at all to achieve your goal to be prepared to pass the NCLEX the next time you take it. Yes, I understand you have to give to yourself some time to mourn the loss of a good opportunity. On the other hand, if you look at your situation realistically, not passing the NCLEX in no way or shape is a reflection of your skill as a future registered nurse. Reflect on your accomplishments rather than on your failures which, by the way, will keep you humble and allert to what you need to do in order to develop stronger NCLEX test taking skills. I have failed the NCLEX four times. The fourth time I took it I did not have any section that was below passing standards. To me that was significant and instead on concentrating how bad I felt because I did not pass it for the fourth time, my new strategy is concentrating in what I need to do in order to pass it the next time I take it. It is all about you and what can you do right in order to pass the next time you take the NCLEX. I tell you this: I seriously doubt that comparing yourself with your classmates who passed the NCLEX and dwelling on how bad it was when you noticed that some of your classmates treated you in a condescending manner because you did not pass the NCLEX whereas the majority of them became registered nurses is definitely not a strategy that will help you to pass the NCLEX the next time you take it. Best, feliz3

Thank you. I understand what you are saying. I have been away from the site for a week or so trying to figure out how to get it done. I learned of a classmate who did not pass and truthfully I was devistated for her. I don't think it was a comparrison but more of an embarassment (for me when I failed)... I think that when it happens we are just in shock and desair. Acting purely on emotion and saying irrational bitter things. I appreciate your honesty and being so up front... sometimes people need that one little "get over it" letter to motivate them more... you have done that for me! Thank you feliz3.

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Dearest erjunky8,

I hope the realistic view I described about our situation did not shock and hurt you, if I did so I must tell you that my intention was not to hurt you in any way or shape. In April 2009 will it be the fifth time I'll take the NCLEX, and that date is even pending on the right eye surgery I may have to have.

I was in an accelerated program to get the masters in nursing sciences which I had to withdraw from until I pass the NCLEX and have a job as a registered nurse, then I can be readmitted into the program. I had a job as well, which I had to quit for it was pending on me getting the license. My former boss was interested on the skills I brought into the position she offered me, but I had to be a registered nurse. In my class six students failed the NCLEX, and some of them, like me, had to take it more than twice. I was sad and surprised for the students who did not pass are smart, and everybody assumed that we all would pass the NCLEX, but we did not.

All my classmates graduated, already, including the ones who did not pass the NCLEX the first time they took it; and some have move on to get the doctorate in nursing. I wish a long and successful careers to all of them. However, what I absolutely refuse to do is to feel despair, embarrassment and humiliation by my circumstances. I am thinking about myself as individual and evaluate myself on my own merits separated from the accomplishment of my former graduating class. I am focusing on the skills I have to develop in order to pass, and in the meantime how I can give a helping hand to others who, like me, have had a history of having difficulties in identifying the specific test taking skills needed to pass the NCLEX. That new attitude has paid off in the form of peace of mind, confidence in myself and what I have learned, and a positive attitude toward the NCLEX test itself. I freed myself of the burden of what people would say about my past failures for my inner voice encouraging me to do my best in developing winning test taking skills is louder than any perceived or imagined negative attitudes towad me from others...that is no longer important, my friend. I no longer dread retaking the NCLEX. Best, feliz3

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This is so true. I also failed 2x but then I take time in taking the next exam so that I wont spend so much money and so that I dont just take it for the sake of taking it. I am now studying again and will be taking it before the year ends. I read and understand everything in the book then my next step is do the Q&A. I feel down and depressed when I got the results that I failed but then I dont let it get into me because I know my dreams will never come true if I kept feeling that way. I moved on and this time stronger and more determined. Keep a positive outlook and vision yourself as a RN. Don't worry too much and have faith in yourself. Pray always.

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