How to tell a fellow student to...?

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I have a fellow student who is ....interesting.

She is shockingly rude, insensitive, and generally disrespectful. I don't mind it as much to the rest of the class, but she is disgusting to placements and patients. Here's a truncated list:

1) We have an opportunity to attend AA to understand alcoholism's effects on people. In the middle of someone's story, her cell phone rings, she gets up, and then answers it!

2) She routinely answers her cell phone in class.

3) She mashes away at her laptop during lectures... even when we have guest speakers!

4) She will give ignorant and uneducated comments to patients. An example: "So you're East Indian? You're not a terrorist are you?"

5) To an obese woman with a hysterectomy: "Wow there sure is a lot of fat. You should work out."

Bear in mind, this is a SHORT list. How do I tell this student to learn some manners? It's been brought up in our class many times and she continues this over and over. I only have 1.5 years left with her, should I consider just leaving it alone? Is this a battle worth fighting? :banghead:

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

Assuming the instructor is aware of the problem, it is really the instructor's place to correct/teach this student.

I'd stay out of it unless my invovlement couldn't be avoided.

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Not that it is an excuse, but those are characteristic of adult ADD. she seems to have very impulsive behavior.... talking/doing before she thinks and needing additional stimuli during lectures (phone and laptop) If that is the case, you might get a better response by finding a way to give her that hint (to go see a dr about a possible diagnosis). Somebody did for me (first a classmate then a clinical instructor) and I was totally embarrassed at the time but I appreciate their honesty now. I am on medication now and it has made all the difference. I look back and can't believe how offensive my behavior was at times!

Of course, this is just what stands out in my mind when reading the list of her behaviors but it might be worth looking into if it bothers you so much. If she is adult ADD it can be VERY hard to recognize then even harder to control these things - so it may not just be a matter of getting manners.

just my 0.02

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It seems worth fighting to me, these are very unprofessional behaviors, but it is your instructor's position to deal with her (mostly.) You might want to advice her that she's not coming across well when she interrupts lecture and that patients might not appriciate her "sense of humor." Or you can bring these specific instances to your professor/department head's attention. Let them know that what she's doing shows and people don't like it.

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Specializes in neuro, critical care.

I had to reply because I identify in some respect. I have always considered myself a people person and have maybe even been accepting to a fault. Recently, in school, I have come across a couple of situations where I can barely stand to be in the classroom with another student. They just plain BOTHER me. Other students in the class are somewhat supportive and acknowledging but I try to avoid plain gossip or trash talking. I found the closest thing to peace in that situation by avoidance. I knew it was not my job to change this person but to concentrate on my own studies and grade. I thought about speaking with the professor outside of class (if nothing else but to ask why the student was not removed) but I never did because THEY seemed to be getting along with each other.

I agree with the previous posters. Thanks for advocating patience, llg. Thanks for opening our mind to underlying issues, heavenly. I came to some resolution with my tormentor once I began to suspect Asperger's or some other disorder that causes social impropriety. It really is our position to remain a student and let the administrators do their job. Unless your nemesis is really preventing you from learning as a fellow there is nothing you can do besides avoidance and trying to get along. She seems to be teaching you what kind of nurse you do not want to be. This is one of the main impetuses for me going to nursing school. I worked for a long term care pharmacy where nurses killed patients and I was driven to show that I could do better than them.

The next thing I have to say is a bit more difficult for me to swallow. As I approach my first position as an RN in a community I grew up in, I have come to anticipate the patients I will see. How will I treat people with the full knowledge of how they have treated me?

The code of ethics for nurses from nursingworld.org...

"The nurse, in all professional relationships, practices with compassion and respect for the inherent dignity, worth, and uniqueness of every individual, unrestricted by considerations of social or economic status, personal attributes, or the nature of health problems."

I suggest that you and I must learn to buckle up strong and quick against the winds of pride that make us second guess our mission to see beyond 'personal attributes.' Your annoyance may be just the test you need to discover a new side of you, one that can jump fervently to action to help patients who are just like her. A side of you that works for the very best in patients who are rude to others AND you. Some patients will be more than rude; I saw times when older men in nursing homes were prescribed sedatives against their will to help prevent them from placing their hands all over young female nurses. It comes down to the fact that an integral part of being a nurse is not only putting up with people but treating them well, like you would want your own family members treated. It's the right thing to do.

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Specializes in Icu.

no offence ..but I find it hard to believe that nursing school instructors will allow her rude attitude... Its just hard to decipher this post.. Most nursing schools , if not all are strict with the use of cell phone....

CEll phones are seized and the student is made to pay 25 dollars in my school , u also get kicked out of the lecture/exam..... I dont bring my cell phone to class .......

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Specializes in PACU.

Was an instructor present when she said that stuff to the obese woman or Indian? I would've probably been backhanded by one of my instructors if I'd said that type of thing to a patient in their presence. Well, maybe not, but I would've definitely (and rightfully) been disciplined. If I were in your boat I'd keep my mouth shut unless she directed her venom at me.

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Are you saying that the instructor allows her to answer her cell phone in class? I can't quite comprehend any instructor permitting that type of behavior. If anyone acted that way in our class, the instructor would probably let them get away with it one time.....if it happened a second time, the instructor would tell them to turn their phone off until the end of class.

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I have a fellow student who is ....interesting.

She is shockingly rude, insensitive, and generally disrespectful. I don't mind it as much to the rest of the class, but she is disgusting to placements and patients. Here's a truncated list:

1) We have an opportunity to attend AA to understand alcoholism's effects on people. In the middle of someone's story, her cell phone rings, she gets up, and then answers it!

2) She routinely answers her cell phone in class.

3) She mashes away at her laptop during lectures... even when we have guest speakers!

4) She will give ignorant and uneducated comments to patients. An example: "So you're East Indian? You're not a terrorist are you?"

5) To an obese woman with a hysterectomy: "Wow there sure is a lot of fat. You should work out."

Bear in mind, this is a SHORT list. How do I tell this student to learn some manners? It's been brought up in our class many times and she continues this over and over. I only have 1.5 years left with her, should I consider just leaving it alone? Is this a battle worth fighting? :banghead:

It does sound like your classmate is annoying, but there may be circumstances of which you are unaware. Maybe she answers her cell phone because she has a sick child or other family member. Maybe there is a crisis going on in her personal life. As far as her laptop is concerned, this is how many, many people take notes. At the school I attend, the lecture hall has plugs for laptops for this very purpose. If the sound of her keyboarding is bothersome, perhaps someone could suggest that she sit in the back of the class where the sound would be less noticeable.

As far as her rude behavior to patients, this is really an issue for the instructors. It is their job to teach appropriate ways to interact with patients. If a patient complains to you about her, then it might be the thing to do to take it to your instructor. Otherwise, I'd leave it alone.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, MS/MT, PCU, CM, House Sup, Frontline mgr.

No offense, but as soon as I began to read your thread I just KNEW you were in first semester. As you continue to progress after fist semester you will stop caring about the behaviors of your fellow classmates because many like her will either be there or they will not. Instructors know how to handle these issues fairly well. Besides, you will be too busy (you are not busy yet... trust me.. you only think you're busy) to care what others are doing or are not doing. GL.

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There seems to be one of those in EVERY class. We have SEVERAL in our class as a matter of fact. I find her behavior toward patients to be extremely offensive. If a professor was not aware of her comments, I would be inclined to bring it to their attention in a professional, matter-of-fact manner, then let them handle it.

Other than that, just buckle down and focus on your learning. Nursing school goes by so fast (you may not think so right now, but I'm getting ready to graduate in May, and it seems like just yesterday we were sitting in orientation.) and then you will hopefully not have to work with her in the future. :yeah:

Just my :twocents:

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All I can say is... OMG!:nono:

Not only is your classmate rude, but she is immature, and unprofessional to a degree I cannot describe! I can only hope that IF she remains and makes it through the program, that no respectable agency (dr. office, hopital, nursing home, whatever) hires her!

I'm a pretty outspoken person myself, but I know where the lines of respect lay. If I was in your shoes, I'm afraid would not be able to keep my trap shut! I would find an opportunity (ANY opportunity) to call her out and make sure she is aware of her actions and comments- AND how they are perceived as RUDE an UNPROFESSIONAL at minimum. :madface:

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