How did you do it?
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I am in midst of a terrible (in my mind) dilemma.
I am in the second year of a part-time RPN program. I am a good student, with an average of 88%. My grade in Nursing theory last semester was 92%. I have 2.5 years to go, part-time.
I work during the day for a trucking company. It is a high-stress position, not because of the job, but because of my boss. He has always been rude, mean and demeaning, but it has reached new heights this past month. His fleet insurance came in at over 150% increase - his bottom line is suffering...he sees us, the employees, as the villains (we had two drivers with serious accidents. He blames them for all his woes. I won't go into why they should never have been hired in the first place).
I am a salaried employee and I make good...really good...money. Less than as a nurse, but good. I am good at my job. I am a good employee. I am never late and have a good attendance record. In the past month Mr. Boss/Company Owner has taken away our medical and dental benefits (in an effort to save money). Given "perks" such as extra days off to his favourite employees. I asked for Christmas eve off, was denied three weeks ago, said goodbye to him on Christmas eve and he reamed me out for not leaving earlier. When I mentioned I had asked for the day off, he snapped "No you didn't!" and then lectured me on the quality of my work. He had me in tears, on Christmas Eve! Two weeks ago, he called my co-worker and I "F.-ing Retards". He is laying off two other employees, when I told him what my discussion with the Labour Board revealed re: layoffs he yelled "F... THE LABOUR BOARD!!!!" at me. He is abusive, belittling, and swears and curses frequently. Sometimes, he gets so angry I think he is going to hit me, I honestly do. He has been taken to the Labour Board before, but here in Canada they do very little, and in the end, I'm still unemployed if I go to them!
The stress is killing me. Thank God I've been off school for three weeks. I am physically ill, have nightmares and can't sleep, cried from Christmas Eve until Sunday, and am not eating and losing weight. I have looked for another office job, but I need to leave early on Mondays for school, and the job market here is not hot right now.
I have been offered a job at my husband's paper mill. It is "at will" employment, 1/3 less than I make now. It will be early and long hours. It is sorting paper in a cold warehouse. The benefits are irrelevant, since I don't have any :) My husband and I could carpool. The hours would be flexible for school.
The thing is, I hate change! Always have. And I feel like a quitter. I've always been a failure, and going back to school now at the age of 33, I have major self esteem issues. I keep thinking, if I can hang out until I pay off my credit card - if I can hang out until I finish school...but will I make it through school in this state? I doubt it.
I can't make a decision. I would love some advice, some guidance. I was on Prozac a few years ago when I was going through some difficulty, I'm wondering if I should see my doctor again. I feel so sick and tired.
What are some of the crappy jobs you guys worked to put yourselves through school? I am so scared right now. Scared of quitting, scared of failing.....