How to recover from setback and move forward

[BlueSkies96]

Hi everyone,

This is my first time posting to allnurses but I have always browsed through topics and am hoping to get some good feedback like other posters. I am a “newish” nurse with almost year under my belt as an RN and two as a PNE on my current unit. This week while at work I heard from one of my charge nurses that a MD had complained about me to another charge nurse the day after I had an interaction with this MD the prior week. That day I was having difficulty with PICC access and could not give a scheduled pre med to a patient prior to her injection, so I messaged the MD asking for the order to be changed to PO. It took her awhile to get back to me and by the time she changed the orders I already had gotten the PICC to work and given the med IV so it ended up being a moot point. But, she misunderstood my message and cancelled all the scheduled med orders and placed it as a PRN with no parameters.   In addition to MWF injections that required pre meds, this pt also had nightly infusions that required the same pre meds as well. I noticed this and made a mental note to talk to the MD about it when I saw her as it was a busy day on the unit. Hours later she never came by the unit so I sent her a polite message apologizing for any confusion/miscommunication and asked if whenever she got a chance she could reorder the pre med as scheduled (like it had been) because as a PRN it could get missed if the MAR didn’t show it was a timed pre medication. She called me soon after irritated asking why a nurse would need that and not just “know” a pre med needed to be given and I explained that yes a nurse familiar with the pt would know, but not necessarily and I just wanted clarity in the MAR to avoid any mishaps. After our discussion she had a note put in the MAR that pre medication was needed prior to the injections and nightly infusion and that was the end of it. In total I sent two messages to her that day. I come back to the floor after a nice 5 days off, saw her in passing but didn’t think much of it as even though I've worked on this small unit she has no idea who I am. Then later in the day my charge nurse told me the day after the incident the nurse complained about me and I found out she told my charge that I was going to be labeled as “needy” and basically implied that she and another doctor were talking about me in the MD offices that day. Fortunately I have a charge nurse who has always supported me and cheered me on and in his words immediately “set the record straight” with her about who I really am as a person and as a nurse and she backed off her rant. But I still can’t stop thinking about this information and I’ll be honest it crushed me. I am so angry that I was talked about behind my back (unjustly in my opinion) and that I cant even defend myself or my reputation because I wasn’t there. I’m not afraid to say that I’m not perfect in any way, I make mistakes and I will own up to them. But if contacting a doctor to clarify orders that could potentially lead to patient harm make me a “needy nurse” then I have to wonder how screwed up this nursing world is. For the most part I love my job, I love the kids and my unit coworkers but I am tired of getting crap from all directions (up down all around you name it). And now I have to worry and stress that I do have a “reputation” and I need advice on how to overcome this professionally and for my own mental health which has taken a lot of hits for multiple reasons. I will say no one else to my knowledge has complained about me to my boss and I had not had any problems with other MDs prior to this (who knows though maybe I’m naive). Our hospital has many hospitalists MDs who come through so even though we may work with one for a week, I may not see them again for months and I feel it would be to late and unprofessional any way to address this rumor directly with this particular MD. Sorry for my rambling post, please any advice or comments would be appreciated. Thank you. 

[TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN]

You gotta let this roll off your back as difficult as that can be. Your charge nurse may have been well meaning, but he shouldn't have told you that they complained about you. How did letting you know about that help you in any way? All it did was shake your confidence, make a mental note about that, one day if you hear someone complaining about someone you know and you defend them, remember how you feel right now and keep it to yourself. Trust me, you will be in that situation at that point.

As far as that doctor goes, she can blow it out of her diddy bag. It is YOUR job as a nurse to relay any concerns or potential/actual problems to HER. If she doesn't want to do anything about it, that's her decision, but it's her job to notified of it whether she likes it or not. If being paged twice in a shift is "needy" and even if you are needy, if something needs to be addressed once again it is the job of the nurse to notify her. Let her complain, who cares, like you said she probably doesn't even know who you are especially if you're in a medium to large sized facility, the docs for the most part don't care about us, don't know us, and most of the times when they get snippy it's usually not personal.

I had a doctor raise holy hell one night when I was a new nurse and I called a critical lab to him. Our policy was that all critical labs had to be called within 30 minutes of getting the result even if the result was expected or an improvement from the previous result. He was not to our hospital but he swore, called me "stupid" the whole nine yards. It ticked me off, but when I got off the phone my charge nurse who overheard everything said basically the same thing I'm telling you. Even if it doesn't make you popular with the doctor, follow policy, follow the rules, and do your job, if they get mad who cares they're getting paid to just like you are, and they do NOT sign your check.

Please don't beat yourself up over this, stay professional with her, but don't bring it up anymore and certainly don't confront her over a rumor. Always stay calm, cool, collected even if you're boiling on the inside. 

Take care.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

You were prudent to get the MAR  corrected. Of course the doctor should have appreciated that. You are going to run across many doctors that feel nurses are a pain in the tookas when we call them.

Let it go.. each and every time. I don't want you to become afraid of calling the doctor. 

Keep up the good work.

 

[Davey Do]

In the broad scheme of things, BlueSkies, this whole situation is merely a bump in the road. As my high school literature teacher use to say when the class groaned because of a pop quiz, "People, in a hundred years, who'll know the difference?"

We feel the sting of a situation because it's fresh in our thoughts and feelings. Once we've done all we can do, we need to learn from the experience and move on.

In my years as actively working as a nurse, doctors have gotten upset with me, yelled at me, and have reported me several times. I might be able to recall a few, and it hasn't been anywhere near a hundred years! In the end, I only needed to take it in stride and gain from the experience.

"This, too, shall pass."

Good luck and welcome to allnurses as a contributing member, BlueSkies!

 

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

I guarantee you've put way more thought into this at this point than that MD. She said something to your charge, and I agree there was no reason to pass it along to you, and then she probably forgot.

You did what was appropriate for the patient. If anyone else had a question about the situation, that would come through quickly.

Don't worry about it. There are all sorts of personalities in this field, you have to let things roll off your back or you will drive yourself crazy. 

[BlueSkies96]

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments and advice, it helps to hear from nurses like you all who have more experience and have been through similar situations so I know I’m not alone. Reading your replies gave me some validation and relief. It’s true I am feeling better today just being away from work and the more time that passes the easier it’ll get to shrug things like this off. I know all I can really do is just keep working hard, looking out for my patients, and leaving work at work. Thank you all again for responding so quickly and your support, I’ll definitely be coming back to allnurses for advice and hope to help other posters in the future as well.