How many nurses who are the "new kid on the block and survive mobbying and bullying?

Nurses General Nursing

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Either new grads or refreshers?

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Specializes in ICU, CCU, Trauma, neuro, Geriatrics.

Well lets go back about 13 years when I survived ICU orientation. That is where I wanted to be and I had served my year in med/surg. My orienting nurse was not nice. After two weeks I talked to the manager of the unit and told her I survived two weeks of "so-and-so", can I stay? I was assigned to a new orienting nurse. I spent 3 years in that unit.

After 15 years of nursing experience will I tolerate that...nopers. Should anyone have to, not really. Does being a new nurse seem frustrating? Yes for just about everyone. Will you be led through this first three or four years without stress, probably not.

I recently started at a new facility and encountered a unit attitude that was not even close to mine. I transferred to a different unit without thinking twice.

It is gonna seem hard and you are gonna have nightmares for a while. You will learn new stuff and unique ways of dealing with issues. You will become a stronger person and react to stress as more a part of the solution than a perpetuator of the problem.

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Dear Snowfreeze:

Thanks for your reply. It is happening to me after two months for reasons unk nown to me. I am not a young chickadee but I just don't get it. I don't understand hostility, especially from the Filipina nurses. There are some that are very kind and aren't into that kind of stuff. It seems like there is no in between. You say that you will learn new ways to deal with the stress. You sound like a very strong and together person. I don't get it though. What do these mean people get out of it? I don't want to be like that. I don't feel I can go to another hospital because I am new and need the experience. It just feels like the mean ones are so uncivilized. They can lie just like a regular con with no emotion. What is their point?

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Specializes in ICU, CCU, Trauma, neuro, Geriatrics.

You will find all types of personalities. Many of the so called meannies are simply miserable people with the cause being some obscure reason or another. They feel trapped or inadequate in some part of their life and you just happen to be todays outlet for this anger.

Don't allow these people to make you feel anywhere near as miserable as they must be, I figure everyone hides at least half of their feelings so there must be at least twice the 'miserable' under all that is on the surface.

Set learning goals for yourself, reward yourself as you reach each goal. I like to take myself out to a new restaurant. Gain the experience you set out to achieve then move on or up depending on what new goals you may have for yourself in a few years.

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Specializes in Case Management.
Either new grads or refreshers?

ZZTopRN,

Perhaps it will help to know that I have found that these type of women who are giving you the hardest time are no doubt afraid of something about you. For some reason they consider you a threat. You can turn this around without getting down to their level. You can exude confidence. You can keep in mind that they are inferior in a way that they don't even realize. They are giving you the hardest time because they deep down feel that there is something about you that makes them feel worse about themselves. Looking at it this way, it is easy for me to laugh along with them when they poke fun, or get downright mean, because you know in your own mind that you possess something they want or cannot achieve.

Hope this helps. ;)

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho.

Anyone who has the time to spend tearing apart something someone else does, doesnt actually do much of anything. If they were actually doing their job they wouldnt have time to spend finding fault with anything but what they didnt get done or arent able to get to.

So to all the "new" nurses who feel they are being bullied, pity the patients of those nurses doing the bullying because they arent getting cared for. Know you will be stronger for doing your job the best you know how and giving your own patients the attention and time they deserve. The ones who matter will notice.

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Anyone who has the time to spend tearing apart something someone else does, doesnt actually do much of anything. If they were actually doing their job they wouldnt have time to spend finding fault with anything but what they didnt get done or arent able to get to.

So to all the "new" nurses who feel they are being bullied, pity the patients of those nurses doing the bullying because they arent getting cared for. Know you will be stronger for doing your job the best you know how and giving your own patients the attention and time they deserve. The ones who matter will notice.

yes yes you tell them. also don't let them see you or hear you whine when that happens they know they got you.

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Thanks to all of you that chose to care and reply to my post.I feel so much better. I am per diem so I am going to only chose to work 2 days this week and take care of myself. They did get me in a position where I couldn't help crying, but the next day I came back and was very confident. Nobody bothered me much except for the nurse manager. She is a cold one. I had a patient who was in a traumatic mva. At the end of the shift, the mother came to me and said she wanted to talk to me. She started crying and said her daughter asked about her 2 dogs that were in the car, and she had to tell her that they had been killed in the accident. I went to the nurse manager who was charge that day hoping that maybe both of us could do something to comfort her. Her response to me was "why was the mother telling her this at this time, a neuropsychologist is going to see her." I just felt so bad. I went back in and talked to the daughter and mother and comforted them as much as I could. No telling when the "neuropsycholigist" was going to have time to make the consult. I had already given my report and could not find the nurse I gave it to. She, the nurse, is a nice person so maybe she will be able to help them until these needs are addressed.

Again, I am so grateful for your support. With your input and taking time of I feel I will be able to put this all in perspective. Thank you so much.

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Specializes in NICU, Telephone Triage.
Thanks to all of you that chose to care and reply to my post.I feel so much better. I am per diem so I am going to only chose to work 2 days this week and take care of myself. They did get me in a position where I couldn't help crying, but the next day I came back and was very confident. Nobody bothered me much except for the nurse manager. She is a cold one. I had a patient who was in a traumatic mva. At the end of the shift, the mother came to me and said she wanted to talk to me. She started crying and said her daughter asked about her 2 dogs that were in the car, and she had to tell her that they had been killed in the accident. I went to the nurse manager who was charge that day hoping that maybe both of us could do something to comfort her. Her response to me was "why was the mother telling her this at this time, a neuropsychologist is going to see her." I just felt so bad. I went back in and talked to the daughter and mother and comforted them as much as I could. No telling when the "neuropsycholigist" was going to have time to make the consult. I had already given my report and could not find the nurse I gave it to. She, the nurse, is a nice person so maybe she will be able to help them until these needs are addressed.

Again, I am so grateful for your support. With your input and taking time of I feel I will be able to put this all in perspective. Thank you so much.

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. Are you a lot older than these nurses? Maybe that's their issue. Who knows. But, beware that a mean manager is hard to work with, too. Try your hardest not to cry, I don't think that will help. If you only need per diem, maybe you can go to a different unit if it doesn't get better.

Good luck and stay strong...but remember the saying "nurses eat their young" sometimes it's true.:o

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i just can't see how anyone can call themselfs a manager or a leader of a hospital,the nursing homes when they don't really care about their clients or their staff. its no wonder they short staff.

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