How to not loose compassion?

[LRN_RN]

Hello all. Just off after an extra shift where we had a fetal demise. I'm part of our NICUs bereavement committee and so was there to assist with prints etc. Mom is 20 yrs old, single and Type 1 diabetic 35 week gestation . She came in on her own the day before for decreased fetal movement. It took 6 RNs, clamps, you name it to almost jerry rig her infant out. She had a pump, and claimed she was being compliant, but her A1c was 10.8. He sugars had been anywhere from non detectable to into the 100s. This poor boy was morbidly obese (4082g @ 35w)- thus the difficult time getting him out. His Apgars were 0, 0, 0n but at 20 min they got heart tones. Anyway, by about 18 hrs of cooling, blood etc. His poor heart was so tired of attempting to pump, he just needed to stop. Our Neo said he'd never seen a coronary wall so thick before in a neonate.

All this to say, we all see tragic outcomes every day. Most we have no answer for. This case had a clear and identifiable cause! I have found myself struggling to find my compassion. The NICU is HARD!

How do you guys find peace and not become cynical or hardened over time? Right now I just feel angry at a completely preventable situation.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

I feel the same way about co-sleeping deaths. No answer for you- I guess you (and this is horrible) just get used to it. I have....

[rnkaytee]

I totally get where you're coming from. I just tell myself that it's not about me and that the sadness I feel for the baby is nothing compared to what this mom will feel when she understands how her actions affected her baby. We're there for the baby and if you helped him in some small way that's what I would focus on.