How do I deal with catty classmates?

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Specializes in Telemetry, Med Surg.

I do well in school, but I work really hard for it and none of it comes easy. I have been studying at least 2-4 hrs/night. Lately, I have been feeling resentment from other classmates (most recently the girl who sits next to me!) because I am doing well overall and they are struggling in more than one subject. I have never once announced my grades or bragged about doing well, people just always ask everyone else what they got or look at my test paper. The girl next to me is super passive aggressive, so she will make comments about me (without saying my name) right in front of me, or make comments like, "Well you don't have to worry about that because you are Little Miss A Student". I am trying to just bite my tongue and make the best of it because we are only in phase 1 for 8 more weeks together, then they break us up into 2 groups. I don't think it's at the level to take it to the teachers, but what is the best way to respond to these kind of comments? I am not a confrontational person, but at the same time I don't think I should feel bad about doing well!! Has anyone else ever dealt with this type of situation?

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Keep doing what you're doing. Sit back and watch how long the classmates who are calling you names stay in the program. The good students want to hang together. Also, the instructors watch for that kind of stuff and the students who don't study and make fun of others for studying too hard quickly have "X's" on their foreheads.

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Specializes in CNA.

I agree. Keep doing what you're doing. You will find as you go through your program that about half of the students you start with, you will not graduate with. But, to help you deal... I know it sounds crazy... but mabye offer to study together. Kill 'em with kindness... that's what my grandmother used to say. Helping is what nursing is about, right? Helping and teaching. I don't know... there's a good possibilty that it might backfire too. But, with that in mind, know that there will be times when you're trying to teach a patient about... oh, I don't know, diabetes or something... The patient gets so overwhelmed with the information (much like your classmate, who is probably feeling alone and overwhelmed by all the information) that he or she lashes out at you. Just a thought. Think about it before you approach her though. Try to do it in the most sincere and non-judgemental way you can. Think thereapeutic communication. Good luck!

:hug:

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Specializes in thoracic ICU, ortho/neuro, med/surg.

I agree. I am experiencing the same thing. I guess what it comes down to is that you are in this for YOU. If another student is more concerned with your progress than his or her own, well, that sounds like their own problem. (:

Just keep studying and doing well and focus on becoming an excellent nurse!

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Just keep your studies up and don't pay any mind to your classmates behavior. Sometimes students make comments/lash out like this as a cry for help. Since you sit next to your classmate, do you know how the person spends time studying? Maybe you could offer some suggestions/tips to that person? Nursing is about helping but if your motives aren't pure then don't offer any help. Helping someone then laughing behind their back is just a waste of your time.

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

You've already allowed these catty classmates to get to your head, because you're bothered enough about their comments and behavior to reach out to us on these forums. If they're being allowed to rent too much space inside your head, you are permitting them to win their little game of wits.

I would ignore the behavior, unless you're skilled at responding to sarcastic verbal quips that other people sometimes make. If someone refers to you as the Little Miss 'A' Student, you can smile and say, "That's right! If you want to be an 'A' student, you have options, too!" Or, you can ignore them and pretend that these classmates do not bother you in the least bit.

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I dealt with this in school...the best way to handle it, I've found, is the merely smile and say "I passed" or "I did well" when people ask what grade I got. Rarely will the person push to know exactly what you got after that (though they do exist....) I also never ask anyone else what they got or how they're doing, because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable/bad if they're not doing well and then I'm all 'oh...i got a 90.' when people have seen my grade inadvertently, i'll say something to the effect of "i'm so happy i did well, i studied really really hard" etc. and when i get a 'bad' grade, i act the same way--i'm not a sore loser, i smile and say "i passed" whether i got a 75 or a 95. my classmates who made a big deal over getting "bad grades" (that were still passing) made themselves very unpopular.

i also keep my test paper turned over. and i also make a point not to seem like a know-it-all in general--i don't raise my hand to answer every question, for example, or argue with the teacher over a measly point on an exam.

edited to add: not that i'm saying you act like a know-it-all or do those things! i'm just saying, being less ostentatious about doing well has served me well in return.

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab, CNA, HHA, Nurse Mentor.

Yeah. We all get them now and then. Like the previous poster, I too just say I passed and let it go. I don't want to throw it in anyone's face unless its a friend for fun. *lol* But if people are being catty towards you, just remember, YOU ARE NOT THERE TO MAKE FRIENDS .. YOU ARE THERE TO LEARN AND BECOME A LPN. that and NEVER EVER TIP (Take it Personal). Keep up the good work and stay happy!

"To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest"

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Specializes in Telemetry, Med Surg.

Thanks everyone for all your advice and support!!! It feels good to know that I'm not crazy. :) After a midterm today I didn't tell anyone my grade, I just said "I did fine, I passed." But I've found that people always want to push on! From now on I'm definitely keeping my paper turned over. I am 100% there for me and I am normally confident enough to not let comments bother me, but it was starting to make me feel guilty! Oh well, there will always be haters. I'm OVER IT! :yeah:

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Do what you are there to do and that is to become and LPN, close you mind to all other who are going to be envious of your performances in school.. My mo-do is "Reach for the high stars that other can't reach", and don't look back.Good Luck and Keep up w/ the good performance in LPN School.

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