How would you have handled this situation?

[Ashlee59]

How would you feel in this situation, advice needed: 

Family 1: You're a nurse for the child but the child is in the hospital. Your job gets you temporary placement pdn placement to help out with family 2.

Family 2: It's day 1 orientation. While here temporarily I  felt things went great. Then near the end of your shift the mom says, "I feel like your loyalty is to the other family so I don't feel like you're all in with my child. So, I will be looking through other agencies for another nurse. There will be a day where I tell the agency don't send you because I will be meeting other nurses who can work here permanently. And I don't know if you're going to stick to family 1 or be with us." 

So you tell your employer, "I won't return because you feel like the mom of family 2 wasn't pleased with your work." Yet mom of family 2 tells your employer they liked you after saying the above things to you. Would you still want to work with family 2? or would you feel like family 2 didn't like you?

[amoLucia]

There's a fine line in HH/PDN among the therapies. The nurse is a SKILLED professional capable of providing some cross-over therapeutic services. But so much of what families want is the domestic services. That is NOT skilled. And the skilled service needed is minimal

If you've read any of the older posts on this specialty, you've no doubt read some of the 'tasks' that are expected of the nurses, like shoveling driveway snow, bathing the pet dog, folding the dryer-full of clothes (after collecting the family laundry for the washer), babysitting grandmom or sibling kids for a while, cleaning the house's 3 bathrooms, cooking the family dinner, etc. Some of their expectations rival those of parents in the School Nurses room!

Be firm following your care plan. You are resp for the pt - not the family. There are strict rules re providing services as the community needs more & more HC. Medicare, Medicaid & insurance pay the bills. Unless you're doing private pay for someone where the rules blur a bit.

This Mom sounds too sneaky for my tastes. And HC can be too one-sided in favor of the family. So you'll be odd man out. Go with your gut.

[Kitiger, RN]

3 hours ago, amoLucia said:

If you've read any of the older posts on this specialty, you've no doubt read some of the 'tasks' that are expected of the nurses, like shoveling driveway snow, bathing the pet dog, folding the dryer-full of clothes (after collecting the family laundry for the washer), babysitting grandmom or sibling kids for a while, cleaning the house's 3 bathrooms, cooking the family dinner, etc. Some of their expectations rival those of parents in the School Nurses room!

True, that. The tasks listed here are not nursing tasks.

[amoLucia]

I was blown away by one nurse posting that she would voluntarily fold dryer machine laundry for Mom. That is until Mom told her how to and whatever tasks she was leaving on a 'To Do' list for the nurse.

The gall! Give someone a bene inch, and they expect an entitled mile!

[Ashlee59]

20 hours ago, amoLucia said:

There's a fine line in HH/PDN among the therapies. The nurse is a SKILLED professional capable of providing some cross-over therapeutic services. But so much of what families want is the domestic services. That is NOT skilled. And the skilled service needed is minimal

If you've read any of the older posts on this specialty, you've no doubt read some of the 'tasks' that are expected of the nurses, like shoveling driveway snow, bathing the pet dog, folding the dryer-full of clothes (after collecting the family laundry for the washer), babysitting grandmom or sibling kids for a while, cleaning the house's 3 bathrooms, cooking the family dinner, etc. Some of their expectations rival those of parents in the School Nurses room!

Be firm following your care plan. You are resp for the pt - not the family. There are strict rules re providing services as the community needs more & more HC. Medicare, Medicaid & insurance pay the bills. Unless you're doing private pay for someone where the rules blur a bit.

This Mom sounds too sneaky for my tastes. And HC can be too one-sided in favor of the family. So you'll be odd man out. Go with your gut.

Thank you, this agency I don't care for anyway because I feel they favor the families more than their nurses yet they pay more. The other agency I work for I do like because I feel they have the nurses back versus the families yet the pay is lower. Yes the mom comes off as very sneaky and I don't care for it. That's why I declined immediately thanks for noticing 

16 hours ago, amoLucia said:

I was blown away by one nurse posting that she would voluntarily fold dryer machine laundry for Mom. That is until Mom told her how to and whatever tasks she was leaving on a 'To Do' list for the nurse.

The gall! Give someone a bene inch, and they expect an entitled mile!

Yes and these peds parents all think their child is "special" and want the world to evolve around them. That's why I have switched to teens to adults. The peds moms seem lonely and look for friends within the nurse all while being manipulative. 

[amoLucia]

OP - Always remember that all pedi children are TRULY special to the parents. They manage difficulties that other kids are blessed to never face. And their parents!! I've seen them called 'helicopter Moms'. I barely understand all their life troubles. The good ones earn their sainthood!

By and large the system works because of dedicated staff & caring parents. EXCEPT for the few 'rotten apples' who fall through.

You are a welcomed social, emotional & care-provider outlet for these parents. Moms reach out. Your service is appreciated by family and the agency (assuming it's a good one). Payor reimbursement for those services is bare bones. The opp'ty to 'cheat; the system  is rife. That's why some agencies are better ones than others. But they can't afford to wave big incentive buck$ - that's what others do because of their less stellar family clients. They are desperate for staff to cover the clients that no one else wants!

Pick your agency & cases wisely. Listen to your inner warning system.

Ratliffe CE, Harrigan RC, Haley J, Tse A, Olson T. Stress in families with medically fragile children. Issues Compr Pediatr Nurs. 2002 Jul-Sep;25(3):167-88. doi: 10.1080/01460860290042558. PMID: 12230829.

 

 

WSJ - For Parents of ill children a growing recognition of PTSD-Feb 2019.pdf

[guest1143647]

20 hours ago, Ashlee59 said:

Thank you, this agency I don't care for anyway because I feel they favor the families more than their nurses yet they pay more. The other agency I work for I do like because I feel they have the nurses back versus the families yet the pay is lower. Yes the mom comes off as very sneaky and I don't care for it. That's why I declined immediately thanks for noticing 

Yes and these peds parents all think their child is "special" and want the world to evolve around them. That's why I have switched to teens to adults. The peds moms seem lonely and look for friends within the nurse all while being manipulative. 

Remember that other thread you asked about the BSN? This is an example of why it is good to have just in case. 

[guest1143647]

Back to the question, I don’t think mom was  being manipulative. I think she was really just concerned about having a permanent nurse. Maybe she is just tired of the agency saying they have a permanent nurse for her, but then they never send one. 

[Vee D, ADN]

On 2/12/2022 at 2:53 PM, amoLucia said:

OP - Always remember that all pedi children are TRULY special to the parents. They manage difficulties that other kids are blessed to never face. And their parents!! I've seen them called 'helicopter Moms'. I barely understand all their life troubles. The good ones earn their sainthood!

By and large the system works because of dedicated staff & caring parents. EXCEPT for the few 'rotten apples' who fall through.

You are a welcomed social, emotional & care-provider outlet for these parents. Moms reach out. Your service is appreciated by family and the agency (assuming it's a good one). Payor reimbursement for those services is bare bones. The opp'ty to 'cheat; the system  is rife. That's why some agencies are better ones than others. But they can't afford to wave big incentive buck$ - that's what others do because of their less stellar family clients. They are desperate for staff to cover the clients that no one else wants!

Pick your agency & cases wisely. Listen to your inner warning system.

I believe that was her point. Alot of these families tend to assume their child is more SPECIAL than the other. You will get that alot in PDN to where families will try to steal you from another family.

[Vee D, ADN]

On 2/13/2022 at 7:13 AM, guest1143647 said:

Back to the question, I don’t think mom was  being manipulative. I think she was really just concerned about having a permanent nurse. Maybe she is just tired of the agency saying they have a permanent nurse for her, but then they never send one. 

Could be a possibility but either way that's a conversation that needs to be had with the agency not the nurse. So that comes across as manipulative 

On 2/13/2022 at 7:10 AM, guest1143647 said:

Remember that other thread you asked about the BSN? This is an example of why it is good to have just in case. 

Not sure what a BSN has to do with her situation. Nurses no matter the degree still have to deal with patients. A BSN doesn't change a patients behavior. 

[amoLucia]

4 hours ago, Jenny Lee said:

I believe that was her point. Alot of these families tend to assume their child is more SPECIAL than the other. You will get that alot in PDN to where families will try to steal you from another family.

I kinda got a little different slant on that prev post. But I agree with you.