How to deal with Nosy Co-Workers?

[Convoy2022_TrumpSupporter]

I work at a Retirement home and such as an RN. Love the job. But we have nosy co workers. I trust only a few people. So last week I bought a brand new car with all my hard earned money and pandemic pay. I told maybe 3 or 4 people about it.

I am 22 years young by the way

The day after this person a PSW, came up to me (she is always nosy not the first time shes up in my business), and said "I heard you got a brand new car" I am like who told you that, and shes like don't worry but is it true. I said yeah? Then she tells me well your last car was still good, I'm like I didn't like it so I gave it to my parents, then shes like well yeah because you don't pay rent, I don't get mad easily but I don't know why she thinks she can just go up to me and say that. I asked her why are you up in my business, shes like I'm not up in your business, I am telling you that you got a new car, and we kept going back and forth and I didn't like it. I started avoiding talking to her, thank God she does not work on my side of the floor.

It was her birthday this morning and they bought food and cake, and they all were eating in the Nursing station. Another PSW told me to go eat, and I refused to go celebrate her birthday with her. I don't want to associate myself with that person, nor do I feel comfortable talking to her because she keeps asking me questions. They were eating the food, and I was continuing doing my Wound care. Another Nurse told me that the PSW is going to report me for "bullying" her for not going to celebrate her birthday by eating the cake and food which I don't even want.

Anyways how can I deal with this in the future if she or if any other idiot tries to get in my business? While I do have a car, I'm not eager to show the world that I have valuable things in my life. The PSW even asked "You don't have a girlfriend? What do you do with all that money"? What in God's name does that have to do with you? In my 2 short years of working in healthcare, I am just shocked that someone would say/ask me those things. When I was in school, we were disciplined properly, everything was serious. We have a license, and if we get fired, we may get a record to the College of Nurses and it may be hard to find a job, whereas if the PSW gets fired there is no record and they can just look for another job.

[Nunya, BSN]

On 6/23/2020 at 5:29 AM, FacultyRN said:

We work in a profession centered on human interactions. How would a coworker you aren't close to possibly know that you dislike friendly conversation? To me, someone you work with showing an interest in your life is not offensive. Many people spend more time at work than at home, and being in relationship with coworkers and enjoying the people around you can make that much more tolerable. If someone oversteps a boundary by asking about something you feel is private, like faith, relationships, or political views, there's no problem with kindly saying "You know, I'm a rather private person, so I don't like to discuss these things at work" and changing the subject.

She brought up a topic you'd discussed with other peers. I'm guessing your new car was in the work parking lot. I just can't wrap my head around being offended that someone acknowledged your accomplishment.

I think your reaction sounds immature, lacking in relational skills and defensive. Like I said, there is an appropriate way to redirect what you personally feel is a boundary crossing. Re-read your words, and I imagine you can see how your reaction could've improved. In fact, I think it was so over the top, that next time you see this person, it'd be good to say "Hey, last time we talked was kind of weird. I am a very private person, so I'm not really open to discussing my personal life at work, but I wanted to apologize for being so snappy. I was just caught off guard and prefer to focus on work-related topics at work."

Based on the wording and tone in your post, as well as your RN v PSW differentiation with an air of superiority, I'm inclined to believe that your attitude and aggressive manner are why your co-workers have considered reporting you for bullying. I doubt it has anything to do with your cake eating preferences.

Congratulations on the new car (if I'm allowed to say that).

You must have missed the part where she was essentially being harassed for getting a new car when her old one was perfectly fine and then the PSW was trying to shame her for getting a new car because she lives with her parents and doesn't pay rent. ?

Edit: and what Katie MI said on page 3